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Thread: I suffer from lack of self esteem

  1. #1
    New Born ums_agrwl's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
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    Thumbs down I suffer from lack of self esteem

    hello mam !!

    my problem is that i feel weak(powerless) among my friends in all the i feel that i am less intelligent than my frndzz , less powerfull than them ...means in all the ways i feel myelf as a looser that i cant compete with them at all !!! though in real i m much more better that my frndzzz !!

    plzz tell me is that a problem of self esteem ?? how to overcome ??? plzz suggest anything !!!

  2. #2
    ×║♥ਸੋਹਣੀ ਮੋਟੀ♥║× Lieutenant General
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    Mar 2008
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    If you base your life on competition with others, then my dear this is not done

    I believe that you should stop comparing yourself with them, there is no such thing as being the best because all the time we will find someone better than us

    What you can do here is just to do what you can in the fields you like, do your work for tyourself it will be much pleasure rather than having the idea that you should do this or that just for the sake of showing that you are better than them

    when one work for himself and live for himself he is much happier and successful

  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Improving self esteem

    1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you play this game, you're likely to compare yourself in a negative way and set yourself up for continuing to have low self esteem. Why continue to play a game where you've set the rules against yourself, so that you're less likely to win!

    2. Don't keep putting yourself down! You can't develop high self esteem if you constantly repeat negative comments about your skills and abilities. Other people will pick up on it and take on board the negative way you view yourself. How are they likely to treat you? Also don't beat yourself up over "mistakes" that you've made - learn how to reframe them so that they work for you.

    3. Using affirmations is an excellent way to raise your self esteem. It's the opposite of no 1. If you can programme your mind to repeat negative phrases about yourself (and see how effective that's been!), then you can certainly get into the habit of continually thinking (and saying to yourself) positive statements about you. When you do, allow yourself to experience the positive feelings about your statements. Also use inspirational quotes to assist you.

    4. Accept all compliments graciously. Don't dismiss / ignore them. When you do you give yourself the message that you do not deserve / are not worthy of praise, which reflects low self esteem. It also means that others will become more reluctant to praise / acknowledge your abilities, if you don't.

    5. Take advantage of and use life coaching programmes, workshops, books on how to raise your self esteem and develop a more positive attitude. Whatever material you see, read acts as subliminal learning, which means that it will plant itself in your mind and dominate your behaviour. Talk about food for thought - what diet is your mind on? Is it a nourishing one?

    6. Mix with positive and supportive people. Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour - another form of subliminal learning. Negative people can put you and your ideas down and it lowers your self esteem. On the other hand, when you are surrounded by supportive people, you feel better about yourself, which helps to raise your self esteem. Learn how to develop your positive personal support network.

    7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and skills. Too many people with low self esteem constantly put themselves down (back to no 1 again!) and don't appreciate their many positive attributes. Learn how to truly affirm and value your many excellent qualities. If you find this difficult, ask others to tell you. They'll come up with things you would never have imagined!

    8. Stop putting up with stuff! Not voicing /acknowledging your needs means that you are probably tolerating more than you should. Find out what you're putting up with and zap those tolerations. By doing so, you're giving yourself the message that you're worth it.

    9. Make positive contributions to others. This doesn't mean that you constantly do for others what they could be doing for themselves. But when you do make a positive contribution to others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of your own value and raises your self esteem.

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