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Thread: Should I tell bf that I cheated?

  1. #1
    sweetgal2288
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    Default Should I tell bf that I cheated?

    i love my boyfriend deeply and its like that and will be like that..
    but on a weak moment i had a drunken affrai with another guy..
    this thought is killng me inside.. my bf will never know if i dont tell him..
    but if i tell him things going to be different between us..i am feeling guilty..
    plz advice me on what shud i do next?? PLEASE HELP MAAM!!!

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Its very, very hard for a partner to know that his loved one has cheated. I realize that the guilt of it is urging you to make a clean confession of it but before you do it, ask yourself what good it will do. Is it going to help the relationship in any way, or on the other hand, will it damage it? Will it cause irrevocable distances between you and your bf?


    The thing to do here is to learn a lesson from what has happened. getting into a drunken fit and having sex is as stupid as its dangerous. In future, take care of yourself. You may end up losing more than your relationship otherwise!

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    SB Champion dhirajdj123's Avatar
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    dont tell him...he might leave u but if u dont its against his trust on u

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    hey...u cud create a base story like..."my friend has done this ..what do u think she shud do?''
    Note his reaction and act accordingly...

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetgal2288 View Post
    i love my boyfriend deeply and its like that and will be like that..
    but on a weak moment i had a drunken affrai with another guy..
    this thought is killng me inside.. my bf will never know if i dont tell him..
    but if i tell him things going to be different between us..i am feeling guilty..
    plz advice me on what shud i do next?? PLEASE HELP MAAM!!!
    Dear Sweetgirl,

    Look, the "Drunk" part is just an Excuse... !! The other day your BF could have sex with a girl and say "I was drunk" .. !! Everyone knows what they are doing while they are Drunk.. !! Drinking is merely used as a tool of fulfilling desires and then having an excuse.. !! So, please don't use it.. !!

    Now, Since you LOVE your BF so much, you need to do the following. .!

    (1) Give up drinking.
    (2) Be Loyal FOREVER.
    (3) Cut all contacts with the guy you had sex.

    If you can do the above 3 things, there is NO NEED to tell your BF. It would just break your relation.. !! Moreover, you understand your mistake and I am gussing you wont repeat it, so, it doesn't really matter.. !!

    Please control yourself in future.. !!

    G'day

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetgal2288 View Post
    i love my boyfriend deeply and its like that and will be like that..
    but on a weak moment i had a drunken affrai with another guy..
    this thought is killng me inside.. my bf will never know if i dont tell him..
    but if i tell him things going to be different between us..i am feeling guilty..
    plz advice me on what shud i do next?? PLEASE HELP MAAM!!!
    Well one weak moment is all that it needs to destroy a trust built over a lifetime. Anyways whats done is done, u have to promise urself strictly to be within limits if u at all have to drink and take a pledge to be loyal and faithful to your bf henceforth. Since you are deeply regretting what happened it shows u still love him very much, so I think u shud go ahead and confess so that u can roll the load of your chest. Understand one thing that it might lead to some temporary tensions in your relationship but then one has to pay some price for committing a blunder. I would advice u to own up, were u my girlfriend I would definitely be deeply hurt but I would not break up with u provided u followed whatever I wrote in the first 2-3 lines. ALL the BEST!!

  7. #7
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    Ask yourself the same question:
    If your boy friend does the same mistake, what you will expect from him - to hide the matter, to come clean and tell you everything.
    Do the same what you expect from others.

  8. #8
    SB Addict sakib000's Avatar
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    have you had sex or only physical touches etc?

  9. #9
    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    Everyone here is advising you against telling your bf. But I strongly feel that you must tell him! He has the right to know. You can't continue your relationship based on a lie!! If you hide this matter, it will take away his right to decide whether he wants to continue his life with you or not. Do you realise that? I think he deserves to know what you've been upto, so that he can decide for himself whether to forgive you, or to dump you and find a girl who will be faithful to him and not get carelessly drunk and end up in bed with another guy! I personally hope he sees you for who you are, and sends you packing! Seriously!! It's no small matter. It's a HUGE breach of trust! And listen, being DRUNK is not an excuse. It's even more disgusting! You had made a purposeful decision to drink and get drunk in the first place. And weak moment? Seems like you're too "weak" to uphold your principles and commitment. This is not LOVE, ok? You're giving "love" a bad name! Ok imagine for a moment that the tables were turned, and your bf ended up cheating on you while drunk. How would that make you feel?? And most important, wouldn't you like to KNOW about it?? Be honest with yourself!

    Cheaters always bother me! They take advantage of their partner's ignorance, and break their trust bigtime! You OWE your bf the truth. And remember one thing, the truth ALWAYS comes to light no matter how hard you try to hide it. So I think you'd rather tell your bf yourself, than have him find out through some other source later!
    Last edited by wonderkid; 28-05-2009 at 06:03 AM.

  10. #10
    Young Gun neonxy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    How can we help you? You're the one who screwed up by being cheap, irresponsible and shameless! Everyone here is advising you against telling your bf. But I strongly feel that you must tell him! He has the right to know. You can't continue your relationship based on a lie!! If you hide this matter, it will take away his right to decide whether he wants to continue his life with you or not. Do you realise that? I think he deserves to know what you've been upto, so that he can decide for himself whether to forgive you, or to dump you and find a girl who will be faithful to him and not get carelessly drunk and end up in bed with another guy! I personally hope he sees you for who you are, and sends you packing! Seriously!! It's no small matter. It's a HUGE breach of trust! And listen, being DRUNK is not an excuse. It's even more disgusting! You had made a purposeful decision to drink and get drunk in the first place. And weak moment? Seems like you're too "weak" to uphold your principles and commitment. This is not LOVE, ok? You're giving "love" a bad name! Ok imagine for a moment that the tables were turned, and your bf ended up cheating on you while drunk. How would that make you feel?? And most important, wouldn't you like to KNOW about it?? Be honest with yourself!

    Cheaters always bother me! They take advantage of their partner's ignorance, and break their trust bigtime! You OWE your bf the truth. And remember one thing, the truth ALWAYS comes to light no matter how hard you try to hide it. So I think you'd rather tell your bf yourself, than have him find out through some other source later!
    Absolutely correct. He deserve to know about your black deeds. Drinking part is just a lame excuse. You must face the consequence of your deed.
    Last edited by neonxy; 26-05-2009 at 12:19 AM.

  11. #11
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    stay drunk but dont have sex with any other guy
    drink and have sex with your bf
    tu bhi khush woh bhi khush

  12. #12
    Healer!! Major FeeDback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    How can we help you? You're the one who screwed up by being cheap, irresponsible and shameless! Everyone here is advising you against telling your bf. But I strongly feel that you must tell him! He has the right to know. You can't continue your relationship based on a lie!! If you hide this matter, it will take away his right to decide whether he wants to continue his life with you or not. Do you realise that? I think he deserves to know what you've been upto, so that he can decide for himself whether to forgive you, or to dump you and find a girl who will be faithful to him and not get carelessly drunk and end up in bed with another guy! I personally hope he sees you for who you are, and sends you packing! Seriously!! It's no small matter. It's a HUGE breach of trust! And listen, being DRUNK is not an excuse. It's even more disgusting! You had made a purposeful decision to drink and get drunk in the first place. And weak moment? Seems like you're too "weak" to uphold your principles and commitment. This is not LOVE, ok? You're giving "love" a bad name! Ok imagine for a moment that the tables were turned, and your bf ended up cheating on you while drunk. How would that make you feel?? And most important, wouldn't you like to KNOW about it?? Be honest with yourself!

    Cheaters always bother me! They take advantage of their partner's ignorance, and break their trust bigtime! You OWE your bf the truth. And remember one thing, the truth ALWAYS comes to light no matter how hard you try to hide it. So I think you'd rather tell your bf yourself, than have him find out through some other source later!
    wonderful answer, i like you for this
    absolutely in agreement to this.

  13. #13
    ×║♥ਸੋਹਣੀ ਮੋਟੀ♥║× Lieutenant General
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    Oh dear you have to tell it, we're nobody to give you a moral lesson but do tell it to him, the fact that you're feeling guilty is a great point it shows that you do not want to deliberately hide it and from the time it will be revealed to him you both will have to get a serious talk however I'm pretty sure he'll be hurt and on anger he will act but if you do love him fight for your love

    make sure you do not let such a thing happen again

    If he decides to no longer stay with you, despite all your efforts, then consider it to be a lesson and do ponder over this

  14. #14
    SB Addict sakib000's Avatar
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    If you want to continue your love with this guy, please dont tell him. He will die to hear this sloppy deed of you. Girls can forgive this sometime but Its not possible for guys to forgive these kind of guilt.

    One thing is for sure, if you tell him, we will be soon dealing with his thread here at sbf

  15. #15
    SB Addict sakib000's Avatar
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    Yes he will be devastated, furious and upset (which is natural. wouldn't you?)
    of course I would. I have never been in love but I can imagine how painful this is.

    You are right from your point of view. May be this guy can afford to continue loving her. It depend on person to person. If I would be that boy, I will not continue with her anymore.

    I think she has enough honesty that she is feeling guilty in herself. Many girls will not even feel guilty.

    So, rather that stepping in lot of trouble by telling him the truth, she should hide this from her love and consider that alcoholic bottle as more guilty, not her.

    Forget the past for sake of future

    Warm regards
    Last edited by sakib000; 26-05-2009 at 12:57 AM.

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