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Thread: Scoundrel hubby wants me back

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Scoundrel hubby wants me back

    I was married five year back against my parent's will, to a guy whom I loved very much. He was a very different person before marriage; he would care and love me. There was a huge difference between our families in terms of status, upbringing and literacy. But I had no issues with that and I always adjusted my lifestyle according to him and tried to keep everyone happy in his family. But after my marriage, he changed a lot and at times would abuse me. Things started getting worse between us day by day.

    After two months of my marriage I got pregnant, but I didn't wanted to have a baby as my husband had lost his job and we were not financially strong. But he pressurised me that he wants a baby and I had no say in his final decision. As he was unemployed, he wasn't able to fulfill my medical needs and would even abuse me physically when I asked him to take me to the doctor during my pregnancy. Finally I managed to get a job for myself in order to support my expenses. On the sixth day of my job my in-laws asked us to move out of their house as according to them I can now take care of myself and my husband as I had a job. I had no option but to leave their place and go to my maternal house until I could find a place to live with my husband. But my husband was still staying at his place during that time. After going to my parents place I was still trying to get a place for us but my husband did not supported me at all. He even tried to take an advantage of the situation and asked me to get money from my parents so that he could rent a place. I was actually shocked to hear this from him as this marriage was against my family's will they did not like my husband or his family. I could not be shameless enough to ask my parent for any financial support. That was the last time I ever spoke to him coz by then I was shattered and could not bear anything more. That time I was three months pregnant, but my husband never tried to get in touch or work out the situation.

    Even after I delivered my baby he did not come to see my baby even though he lived couple of miles away from my place. I was waiting in the hope if he would change and come back to take me and my kid with him. After two years I moved abroad so that I can earn my living and give a better life to my kid. It’s been five years now, that he haven't been in touch with me and I don’t know his where about. In these five years I have never thought about any other guy and never will. Recently, I got an email from him saying that he want to talk to me and come back. Now he wants to patch up after five years and say that he has been missing me all these years. But I haven't replied him back coz I am now in a dilemma. Surely, I have suffered enough and I don't know how I should trust him again on his words(where he haven't even bothered to see his baby or me in five years). Please help me to solve this issue coz he is still in my memory all the time. Should I go back to him or should I forget him and how?

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Look, You made a bad choice and have had to suffer for years because of that. you have come through the hard times and now have re located with your young child and have made a place for yourself in this world, probably with the support of your folks.

    Tell me, what you hope to gain by getting this guy back into your life? He seems to be a total, sorry to use the word, scoundrel. He hasn't given you any security, has been abusive and absolutely irresponsible towards his child.

    I can just bet that he has now heard that you are abroad and wants to come there.

    why would anyone put themselves in a situation that is almost guaranteed to make them miserable. Of course there is a chance in a million that he may have changed. but, somehow, I really don't believe that that would have happened.

    You are in a new country, earning your bread. Better to make a completely new life for yourself rather than going back to one that was miserable!

  3. #3
    SUBLIME Colonel enjoy_lol's Avatar
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    5 years is not a short time in any ways... a person hu cannot care for his wife and child specially a child which he himself wanted as u said u were against the child but he forced u..... he shud have been more caring for the child than u.... forget being caring he didnt even bother to see the childs facce... such ppl cannot be trusted for any reason...

    5 years in the running he wasnt bothered for both..... now all of a sudden he was missing u all these years....i dont buy that.... the only thing which will happen ater he coming back to u is that he will ask u to arrange a visa and get him a job........ now thts selfish....

    u have been through a lot in ur marriage, right now u dont have an issue u have nothing to solve... delete the mail and block the person...., tell him u have moved on and so shud he.... agreed u cud not forget him, but atleast u have learned to live and think minus him....dont entertiain him to be back in ur life and go back to a situation where u started from, u will be back to square one, spare urself from the torture and say a firm no.......

    all the best

    god bless u

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    These are the side effects of a love marriage...u love someone badly and he/she has a stronger side!!

    Ma'am just finish off everything wid him and if u feel lonely ask ur parents to get u married...

    And if u think dat u can live the whole life wid ur child den dont go back to dat moron...

    He wont be giving u any sort of happiness i bet...

  5. #5
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    The title of the thread says everything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger69 View Post
    The title of the thread says everything.
    Absolutely bro...

    Aisi bandiyo ki kismat pe bahot taras aata hai.
    Ek galti zindagi kharaab kar deti hai...
    Dekho aaj tak inki life sambhal nahi pai hai...
    Last edited by vish_d; 22-06-2009 at 07:41 PM.

  7. #7
    New Born rajrohit26's Avatar
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    dont be weak ; may be he wants to use your money again; dont trust these guys; u loved him and what u got in return; u fought with ur parents to be with him but he turned out to be a monster; guys like these dont deserve 2nd chance

  8. #8
    New Born Billu_bhayankar's Avatar
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    Us kaminey ke pas mat jana.

  9. #9
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    We should know what/whom to keep to life and what to discard. Are you sure you really want those miseries back? You are not a masochist, i guess. Its not bad to give a person another chance, but in this case i have no hope for that

  10. #10
    New Born Smiley09's Avatar
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    Default soundrel Husband

    Preeto Mam Is right. Nothing more to add Mam is right. Please don't ever think of going back to this man. Knowing that you are abroad and earning good money he wants to use you. There is no love from his side. Look after yourself and your kid. If you are feeling lonely of you think the baby needs a father, you can always get married again but know that person first or marry someone of your parents choice. Don't go back to the ex please!!


    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Look, You made a bad choice and have had to suffer for years because of that. you have come through the hard times and now have re located with your young child and have made a place for yourself in this world, probably with the support of your folks.

    Tell me, what you hope to gain by getting this guy back into your life? He seems to be a total, sorry to use the word, scoundrel. He hasn't given you any security, has been abusive and absolutely irresponsible towards his child.

    I can just bet that he has now heard that you are abroad and wants to come there.

    why would anyone put themselves in a situation that is almost guaranteed to make them miserable. Of course there is a chance in a million that he may have changed. but, somehow, I really don't believe that that would have happened.

    You are in a new country, earning your bread. Better to make a completely new life for yourself rather than going back to one that was miserable!

  11. #11
    New Born gurumurthi's Avatar
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    Dont go back. this will be dangeroius to you. One small stupidity now will cost you nicely. Think before you act. Give more importance to brain than heart

  12. #12
    SB Addict canadian31's Avatar
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    DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM, JUST FORGET HIM AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE !!!
    Why?
    1. He physically abused you -- that is unaccepatable under ANY circumstances!
    2. He mentally abused you
    3. He didn't bother supporting your decision regarding your child and didn't even "raise" the baby in any way (emotionally or financially)

    From what I can see, he wants to come back to you for 2 reasons:
    1. To use you financially - he needs and/or wants the money
    and
    2. To use you as passport - he wants to come abroad

    Just leave him in the past and don't bother with him. He is not going to change. He is a USER and an ABUSER! Leave the jacka$$ where he belongs --- in the past!!!!

    Be strong!

  13. #13
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    Arrow nightmare_tanwar

    no need to go back yaar and think about patch up , because he did not loves u at all , he want to come back beacuse u r finacillly stable now,,he was not stand next to u when u need him in ur life,
    no need to go back

  14. #14
    SB Champion Lieutenant rangnath's Avatar
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    scoundrel is the correct word for this type of husband. dont do the mistake of going back. He doesnt care for you and he is cruel.

  15. #15
    New Born chandramauli's Avatar
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    i dont think any husband will avoid coming to see his child. It means he doesnt have any feelings for you or child. it can be due to some other reason but his general behaviour is cruel. i wont believe him

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