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Thread: Very Urgent Advice-Marry or not

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    Question Very Urgent Advice-Marry or not

    Its been 4 yrs to our friendship, around 2 yrs back she proposed me and i agreed to it. We started sharing secrets/weakness and persnal issues and we both know everything abt each other. We want to get married asap but i feel that she doesnt respect me anymore , like she will slap me on face in presence of other (i light one) , i had told her that i dont like this thing. Moreover, she believes in equality of both partners in Marriage and she is not ready to compromise if she is right in any case may be if it comes to my disrespect.other then this she never takes anything seriousy ; if i ask her to do something like calling some mutual friend or like we decide to meet and she will not turn up and then will say that she got slept. She is like dominating me now. I love her lot and still fees she is best for me, is it bcoz she knows my weaknesses or she takes me lightly. I also know she loves me..

    I had discussed this with her many times but she doesnt agre to what i feel so plz dot suggest this option..Thanks

    Please advice as my parents are also looking for a girl..URGENT, Plz Preeto Mam approve this thread so that i can get some solution

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    You say that both of you love each other so I don't really see that the option of NOT marrying her exists, does it?

    Still, there are things about the relationship that are making you stop to have second thoughts.

    Do you think that you can communicate these second thoughts to your GF? Can you tell her clearly that you want to step back a bit or ate perturbed because of her lack of respect and seriousness?

    After you have put the issue out, you can then give each other a period of time when you see if you can seriously change for each other. If you will make the changes in lifestyle and behavior that will please the other person.

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    what if u marry another girl as ur parents wish and after 4 years..the girl show the same personality traits like her..what u will do then?? Hope u got the answer from this...

    For her behaviour...give her some shock thereapy...bcz I m sensing that...she bcm too cool in the relationship...and taking u for granted...atleasr some responsibility abd respect is require in a relationship

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    after readin ur prob.. wat i feel is tat u want a wife tat will just listen to u like a dummy doll and tats it..

    yes a slap is a bad thing.. but then u urself mentioned tat its a light one. i owuld assume u want to say in a play full manner.. in any manner she needs to stop doing this has it hurts ur personality and self respect in front of others.. who would now consider u as a puppet...

    abt equality.. i dont get u.. i mean in marriage there shld be equality.. but then probably u r traditonal mentalirty person who believes tat a woman is good only for house keeping n cleaning ur shoes..

    abt not meeting u at a particular time.. u ll also need to sort this out.. bcoz u definately wouldnt want a wife who does nothin other than sleep sleep.. n eventually get fat n u would hate ur marriage itself.. ask her to be actively involved.. n do stuff...

    abt not suggesting tat u talk to her.. get this thing straight.. for everything there r 2 options.. either u talk.. or u fight(break up) now u decide whether u wanna talk or u wanna break off... so its either u explain her ur fears or else u go along wit u parents n be the dominating person in ur personal life.. another thing a person becomes dominating only when he/she knws tat the other person cant live without him/her

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Its been 4 yrs to our friendship, around 2 yrs back she proposed me and i agreed to it. We started sharing secrets/weakness and persnal issues and we both know everything abt each other. We want to get married asap but i feel that she doesnt respect me anymore , like she will slap me on face in presence of other (i light one) , i had told her that i dont like this thing. Moreover, she believes in equality of both partners in Marriage and she is not ready to compromise if she is right in any case may be if it comes to my disrespect.other then this she never takes anything seriousy ; if i ask her to do something like calling some mutual friend or like we decide to meet and she will not turn up and then will say that she got slept. She is like dominating me now. I love her lot and still fees she is best for me, is it bcoz she knows my weaknesses or she takes me lightly. I also know she loves me..

    I had discussed this with her many times but she doesnt agre to what i feel so plz dot suggest this option..Thanks

    Please advice as my parents are also looking for a girl..URGENT, Plz Preeto Mam approve this thread so that i can get some solution
    well since ur in love and want to get married to her there is not harm going ahead with the idea........... u just have to be firm with what u want..... discus it with her... let her know whwat u feel and what u want..... and let her improvise...... and habits can be changed ..... righht.????.... but ur first love cannot be.... or ur love cannot be... right?


    so go ahead and marry her

    all the best

    god bless u

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    Post i am the person who has this problem

    Dear Mam,
    Thanks for consideration ,Please also advice me on inserts in RED

    You say that both of you love each other so I don't really see that the option of NOT marrying her exists, does it? @ Can marriage work out w/o resect and seriousness for each other

    Do you think that you can communicate these second thoughts to your GF? Can you tell her clearly that you want to step back a bit or ate perturbed because of her lack of respect and seriousness? @ I had done so many times and also warned us that this may have serious impact on our relation.

    After you have put the issue out, you can then give each other a period of time when you see if you can seriously change for each other. If you will make the changes in lifestyle and behavior that will please the other person.@ She never agress that what she is doing is wrong & says she will start respecting/behaving after marriage

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    Post i am the person facing this problem

    after readin ur prob.. wat i feel is tat u want a wife tat will just listen to u like a dummy doll and tats it..@ what ever u got is wrong , i never mentioned or said so.More over at least in India , male partner has more decision making power.

    yes a slap is a bad thing.. but then u urself mentioned tat its a light one. i owuld assume u want to say in a play full manner.. in any manner she needs to stop doing this has it hurts ur personality and self respect in front of others.. who would now consider u as a puppet...@ Slap a person who is going to be Husband in front of common friends/ friends..this is always wrong.

    abt equality.. i dont get u.. i mean in marriage there shld be equality.. but then probably u r traditonal mentalirty person who believes tat a woman is good only for house keeping n cleaning ur shoes..@ This may be ur mentality as i have not mentioned so..its partners responsiblity to keep words of other partner

    abt not meeting u at a particular time.. u ll also need to sort this out.. bcoz u definately wouldnt want a wife who does nothin other than sleep sleep.. n eventually get fat n u would hate ur marriage itself.. ask her to be actively involved.. n do stuff... @( this was only a example dear..its not about sleeping,its about taking things lightly)

    abt not suggesting tat u talk to her.. get this thing straight.. for everything there r 2 options.. either u talk.. or u fight(break up) now u decide whether u wanna talk or u wanna break off... so its either u explain her ur fears or else u go along wit u parents n be the dominating person in ur personal life.. another thing a person becomes dominating only when he/she knws tat the other person cant live without him/her @ i am doing it for last 6 months but she never agress that she is wrong.

    thanks for your suggestion , shall think accordingly

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    Quote Originally Posted by cayain98 View Post
    Dear Mam,
    Thanks for consideration ,Please also advice me on inserts in RED

    You say that both of you love each other so I don't really see that the option of NOT marrying her exists, does it? @ Can marriage work out w/o resect and seriousness for each other

    Do you think that you can communicate these second thoughts to your GF? Can you tell her clearly that you want to step back a bit or ate perturbed because of her lack of respect and seriousness? @ I had done so many times and also warned us that this may have serious impact on our relation.

    After you have put the issue out, you can then give each other a period of time when you see if you can seriously change for each other. If you will make the changes in lifestyle and behavior that will please the other person.@ She never agress that what she is doing is wrong & says she will start respecting/behaving after marriage

    after reading ur first query i felt u being very insecure..and taking everything very personal..she is only in love with u..and in too much closness some people take a few things easy!!

    * firstly slapping a light slap in public is a way od slef expression of few people.. they do taht topeople whom they r relally close.. (actually it may iriitate few people...)..some people even hit on head this same way.. they dont mean offence

    * if u love her y do u get annoyed to silly makesof her.. maybe she sounts on u to understand she was lseeping..and u r seeing it as disrespect..

    * the girl whom ur parenst choose also can have other annoying traits..
    its about adjusting with each others habits..

    u say u spoke to her and she isnt valueing ur words... thats caelessness in love..yeah its bad..but some poeple dont understand how much it botehrs the other person.
    *********************************
    @ Can marriage work out w/o resect and seriousness for each other


    yes dear..it can...only when u take pity issues seriously then problems arise.. only if u r more fun to let go such matters and easygoing then lifez also easy nad marriagez also easy...and everything works out well.


    @ I had done so many times and also warned us that this may have serious impact on our relation.

    shez easy nad u r holding on things..and taking personally... yeah she should understand it is bothering u.... but if u love her u can ignore her small flaws

    .@ She never agress that what she is doing is wrong & says she will start respecting/behaving after marriage [/QUOTE]


    if she thought it was wrong.. she wudnt do it at all na???

    u r being hard.. life doesnt go on this way... u need to relax..and give ur self a break... and be easy on urslef... just be fun .. dont get soo irritated!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sens View Post

    after reading ur first query i felt u being very insecure..and taking everything very personal..she is only in love with u..and in too much closness some people take a few things easy!!

    * firstly slapping a light slap in public is a way od slef expression of few people.. they do taht topeople whom they r relally close.. (actually it may iriitate few people...)..some people even hit on head this same way.. they dont mean offence

    * if u love her y do u get annoyed to silly makesof her.. maybe she sounts on u to understand she was lseeping..and u r seeing it as disrespect..

    * the girl whom ur parenst choose also can have other annoying traits..
    its about adjusting with each others habits..

    u say u spoke to her and she isnt valueing ur words... thats caelessness in love..yeah its bad..but some poeple dont understand how much it botehrs the other person.
    *********************************
    @ Can marriage work out w/o resect and seriousness for each other


    yes dear..it can...only when u take pity issues seriously then problems arise.. only if u r more fun to let go such matters and easygoing then lifez also easy nad marriagez also easy...and everything works out well.


    @ I had done so many times and also warned us that this may have serious impact on our relation.

    shez easy nad u r holding on things..and taking personally... yeah she should understand it is bothering u.... but if u love her u can ignore her small flaws

    .@ She never agress that what she is doing is wrong & says she will start respecting/behaving after marriage



    if she thought it was wrong.. she wudnt do it at all na???

    u r being hard.. life doesnt go on this way... u need to relax..and give ur self a break... and be easy on urslef... just be fun .. dont get soo irritated!
    [/QUOTE]


    Dear thanks a lot..i guess u r right , i am worried bcoz this will be a love marriage so my family will count on me for all her behaviors / habits and i have to take responsiblity. So i am woried bcoz i feel without her understanding that i need to get respect to have trust on her this will be very difficult for me.

    Any way thanks..i guess u r right.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cayain98 View Post
    if she thought it was wrong.. she wudnt do it at all na???

    u r being hard.. life doesnt go on this way... u need to relax..and give ur self a break... and be easy on urslef... just be fun .. dont get soo irritated![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

    Dear thanks a lot..i guess u r right , i am worried bcoz this will be a love marriage so my family will count on me for all her behaviors / habits and i have to take responsiblity. So i am woried bcoz i feel without her understanding that i need to get respect to have trust on her this will be very difficult for me.

    Any way thanks..i guess u r right.[/QUOTE]


    wish u good luck...a nd be happy... u too make fun of urslef..everybody will love u for it!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Its been 4 yrs to our friendship, around 2 yrs back she proposed me and i agreed to it. We started sharing secrets/weakness and persnal issues and we both know everything abt each other. We want to get married asap but i feel that she doesnt respect me anymore , like she will slap me on face in presence of other (i light one) , i had told her that i dont like this thing. Moreover, she believes in equality of both partners in Marriage and she is not ready to compromise if she is right in any case may be if it comes to my disrespect.other then this she never takes anything seriousy ; if i ask her to do something like calling some mutual friend or like we decide to meet and she will not turn up and then will say that she got slept. She is like dominating me now. I love her lot and still fees she is best for me, is it bcoz she knows my weaknesses or she takes me lightly. I also know she loves me..

    I had discussed this with her many times but she doesnt agre to what i feel so plz dot suggest this option..Thanks

    Please advice as my parents are also looking for a girl..URGENT, Plz Preeto Mam approve this thread so that i can get some solution
    Leave her. She isn't fit for an ideal wife. If she doesn't respect you she can't be a good wife. Be practical dominant women and feminists are never good wife material. Those who sing around equality and stuff like that forget it's Hindu way of life and marraige that stays intact longer than any morden concept of companionship. Take example of your parents you get clear picture. Stay clear of such dominant feminist type of women.
    Last edited by neonxy; 29-08-2009 at 05:14 PM.

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    depend on u really

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    You say that both of you love each other so I don't really see that the option of NOT marrying her exists, does it?

    Still, there are things about the relationship that are making you stop to have second thoughts.

    Do you think that you can communicate these second thoughts to your GF? Can you tell her clearly that you want to step back a bit or ate perturbed because of her lack of respect and seriousness?

    After you have put the issue out, you can then give each other a period of time when you see if you can seriously change for each other. If you will make the changes in lifestyle and behavior that will please the other person.
    Nice suggestion Maam!

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    Dont marry - bewakoof. You already have had the taste of mairrage - she is dominating can slap you etc etc.

    Abey chu-- ye pack your bags and run away. Dont marry her - or anybody.

    Live you life - ENJOY IT, why do you want to get a partner - who will spoil your life. Enjoy all the girls of the world. DONOT MARRY.

    In case you have to marry - I will still suggest - think about suicide - that is easierway of dying.

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    Quote Originally Posted by neonxy View Post
    Leave her. She isn't fit for an ideal wife. If she doesn't respect you she can't be a good wife. Be practical dominant women and feminists are never good wife material. Those who sing around equality and stuff like that forget it's Hindu way of life and marraige that stays intact longer than any morden concept of companionship. Take example of your parents you get clear picture. Stay clear of such dominant feminist type of women.
    No Lady is ideal. Wife word spoils the idealism. DONOT MARRY. Learn from others experiences.

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