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Thread: Drunk husband raped me

  1. #1
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    Default Drunk husband raped me

    i am married from 2 yrs and yesterday my husband raped me..

    he went out when i was sleeping and then came back fully drunk and was talking gibberish.. then before i know anything he was on me i kept asking him what r u doing and cried to stop but he ripped of my dress. I tired to push him off but he is so strong and hit me on my face and raped me and it hurt very bad.. after that i was bleeding and was shocked but then he was going to sleep and when i cry he told me to shut up! today morning he tells me he is sorry and was drunk and never do it again.. i don't know what to do..
    pls help.. what should I do...

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, I can understand how you are feeling my child and i feel very sorry that you had to o through this horrid experience. This, BTW, is known as 'Marital rape'.

    Because of popular stereotypes of "real" rape, it is often assumed that because spouses have been sexually intimate, rape in marriage is not as traumatic as when committed by a stranger.

    While rape by a stranger is highly traumatic and will nearly always involve physical violence, it is typically a one-time event and is clearly understood as rape. In the case of rape by a spouse or long term sexual partner the history of the relationship affects the victim’s reactions. Marital rape is likely to be part of an abusive relationship. Trauma from the rape adds to the effect of other abusive acts or abusive and demeaning talk. Furthermore marital rape is rarely a one-time event, but a repeated if not frequent occurrence.

    Legal recourse


    There is a legal recourse against marital rape. Women in India have legal protection against abuse in their own homes under a law which came into force a few years ago.

    The law also for the first time recognises emotional, verbal and economic abuse of a woman by her husband as a crime. Punishment can include a jail sentence of up to one year and a fine of up to 20,000 rupees . Existing law already provides longer sentences for physical violence.But more importantly, the new law also provides a share of an abusive husband's earnings and property for the victim, and medical costs.

    Crucially, it also guarantees abused wives the right to continue living in the family house.

    However, that cultural norms and the perceived social stigma attached to rape often discourage the reporting of marital rape, and prosecution is very rare.

    So, my dear, I do want to warn you that this may not be a one-off thing. You may want to raise a fuss about this, tell your family and his, and take a strong stand that this sort of thing should never happen again. that is of course, if you want to accept his miserable apology!
    Last edited by Preeto Maam; 26-09-2009 at 12:22 PM.

  3. #3
    SB Addict devilsdomain's Avatar
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    OH MY GOD !!! How he culd he possibly do these crimes to the women he is married to to...

    I fail to understand this people.... Please take a strong stand against this thing and make him repent in a hard way... how in-human.... GOD BLESS YA !!!

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    SB Champion Lieutenant simplysexy's Avatar
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    Perhaps, he was frustrated or u were not allowing him to have sex with u by consent. But he has done totally wrong by raping u. Now it lies upon u if u accept his apology and give him another chance or talk to ur parents about this whole incident.

    But my advice is:
    GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE.

  5. #5
    SUBLIME Colonel enjoy_lol's Avatar
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    i dont think so u will do anything about it............. if u had to... u wudnt have come here to ask........... u wud have and shud have taken the action already........... wonder what made u come here........... rest u have all the replies u can get help from

    all the best

    god b less u
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box
    THE X - GANG ..........
    ]

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    a man is not guilty of raping his own wife not being under the age of 18 yrs......now find it urself did he actuly raped u....

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    section375 of ipc

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    i can understand your pain. but one thing is there your husband was drunk. in drunken period the mind would be empty and can't think what is wrong n what is right??????? next morning he was too sorry for his deeds and promise you to never repeat such things in future. so , forgive him for this time because;"FORGIVENESS IS FINAL FORM OF LOVE". else if again he repeated such activity then you can LEGALLY SUE him................

    CHEERS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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    LADDOO CHAHE MARZI SE KHAO YA KOI ZABARDASTI KHILAYE....LAGTA MEETHA HI HAI!!.....so dnt think so much...fter all he is ur husabnd....bechare ka violent sex karne ka man kar raha hoga so he raped u.....u cn avenge by raping him sum oder day....what say u???

  10. #10
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    Sorry that u fell a victim to marital rape..Its a crime. They say liquour brings out ones true self.. I believe ur husband is only an animal with no consideration for u..Apologizing won't make the shock u experienced go away..He is even putting the blame on liquour.. My question is if it was due to getting drunk what guarantee is there it wont happen again if he gets drunk again?? If u can trust his apology u can give him a chance, but also remember that u sure has an option for legal help in this as Preeto Maam explained above..

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Because of popular stereotypes of "real" rape, it is often assumed that because spouses have been sexually intimate, rape in marriage is not as traumatic as when committed by a stranger.

    While rape by a stranger is highly traumatic and will nearly always involve physical violence, it is typically a one-time event and is clearly understood as rape. In the case of rape by a spouse or long term sexual partner the history of the relationship affects the victim’s reactions. [B]Marital rape is likely to be part of an abusive relationship. Trauma from the rape adds to the effect of other abusive acts or abusive and demeaning talk. Furthermore marital rape is rarely a one-time event, but a repeated if not frequent occurrence.
    I agree fully to this preetoji! I have seen many hesitating to believe that rape can happen inside a marriage. Marital rape is really bad in the sense that its in a way destroying the trust the partner has in us. Marriage is supposed to be a bond where each partner can trust the other, feel safe in the others present, its made of a belief that, the other will protect and save us if somebody outside the relationship try to harm us. And when the same person who is supposed to be protecting us, whom we trust the most, is the one that harms us, i can guess how much shock that will be to the person who experience it. I doubt it will even cause the victim to lose faith in humanity altogether. A serious issue indeed, and thanks for the details given.

    Regarding the problem, i think if the lady is convinced that his apology is genuine, a second chance can be given. But still, i dont know how he can ever get rid of the shock he has caused in her mind. Some damages can never be fixed. But if its a genuine mistake and only if he has fully understood the mistake and its impact, only then its safe to experiment by trusting him again.
    Last edited by pain!; 26-09-2009 at 11:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i am married from 2 yrs and yesterday my husband raped me..

    he went out when i was sleeping and then came back fully drunk and was talking gibberish.. then before i know anything he was on me i kept asking him what r u doing and cried to stop but he ripped of my dress. I tired to push him off but he is so strong and hit me on my face and raped me and it hurt very bad.. after that i was bleeding and was shocked but then he was going to sleep and when i cry he told me to shut up! today morning he tells me he is sorry and was drunk and never do it again.. i don't know what to do..
    pls help.. what should I do...
    Being drunk is no excuse to rape somebody.. evenif its ones wife. My mind tells he will repeat it again..anyways its upto you to decide

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  14. #14
    SB ICON Lieutenant General don99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Well, I can understand how you are feeling my child and i feel very sorry that you had to o through this horrid experience. This, BTW, is known as 'Marital rape'.

    Because of popular stereotypes of "real" rape, it is often assumed that because spouses have been sexually intimate, rape in marriage is not as traumatic as when committed by a stranger.

    While rape by a stranger is highly traumatic and will nearly always involve physical violence, it is typically a one-time event and is clearly understood as rape. In the case of rape by a spouse or long term sexual partner the history of the relationship affects the victimís reactions. Marital rape is likely to be part of an abusive relationship. Trauma from the rape adds to the effect of other abusive acts or abusive and demeaning talk. Furthermore marital rape is rarely a one-time event, but a repeated if not frequent occurrence.

    Legal recourse


    There is a legal recourse against marital rape. Women in India have legal protection against abuse in their own homes under a law which came into force a few years ago.

    The law also for the first time recognises emotional, verbal and economic abuse of a woman by her husband as a crime. Punishment can include a jail sentence of up to one year and a fine of up to 20,000 rupees . Existing law already provides longer sentences for physical violence.But more importantly, the new law also provides a share of an abusive husband's earnings and property for the victim, and medical costs.

    Crucially, it also guarantees abused wives the right to continue living in the family house.

    However, that cultural norms and the perceived social stigma attached to rape often discourage the reporting of marital rape, and prosecution is very rare.

    So, my dear, I do want to warn you that this may not be a one-off thing. You may want to raise a fuss about this, tell your family and his, and take a strong stand that this sort of thing should never happen again. that is of course, if you want to accept his miserable apology!
    You are right dude..

  15. #15
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i am married from 2 yrs and yesterday my husband raped me..

    he went out when i was sleeping and then came back fully drunk and was talking gibberish.. then before i know anything he was on me i kept asking him what r u doing and cried to stop but he ripped of my dress. I tired to push him off but he is so strong and hit me on my face and raped me and it hurt very bad.. after that i was bleeding and was shocked but then he was going to sleep and when i cry he told me to shut up! today morning he tells me he is sorry and was drunk and never do it again.. i don't know what to do..
    pls help.. what should I do...
    As bad as it was, I am assuming that it is the first time in 2 years of your relationship that this has happened.. !!

    I'd say, give him a second chance but make it VERY CLEAR that coming home Drunk would never be accepted by you.. It happens again, you're straight to Court. !!

    G'day

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