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Thread: BF cant accept my past What to do now..?

  1. #1
    Saumya susheel
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    Default BF cant accept my past What to do now..?

    hi, i am in luv with a guy from 6 months, and last monday he told me that he want to marry me.. i said yes i want to live with u.
    And then he took me to a beach where we had a talk and he asked me to be honest and tell if i had any past relatiosnhip..He never asked about them before.
    its true i once loved a guy and we were close, close in the sense we were really close in all ways!
    So i told him about this after hearing this he looked tense and then didnt talk much for 30 minutes..he then said that its difficult for him to marry me if what i told is true.
    I asked y?? i only told the truth.. and he says he can't marry a girl who had sex with everybody. I asked what u mean by that, its not everybody but i loved only one guy in past and now i have no contact with him..
    But he won't listen to me and said lets part here..It may be easy for him but he made my life difficult..if he wanted to do this what was the need for love episode?
    I feel miserable..

  2. #2
    SB Champion Lieutenant prakash27's Avatar
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    I hope he will forget this past stories and will live in present!!! If he cant accept u no need to push urself into his life!! leave him
    agony aunt, marriage advice, relationship help, online agony aunt, relationship advice
    Last edited by prakash27; 04-10-2009 at 08:52 PM.

  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi!

    Well, I know its extremely saddening and you would be finding this very hard to deal with but I do hope that you are not blaming yourself for this.

    See, if you look at the positive side, its a good thing that you know his position on this already.

    Since he has clarified his position, you get your act together as well. Its going to take some time to get over the hurt but if the guy can't accept your past, after ASKING for it, then well, why are you wasting your tears on him???

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    just give him some time to digest the truth..dnt nagg....and dnt worry

  5. #5
    SB MahaGuru Colonel deSi_CasaNovA's Avatar
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    Everybody has a dark side so we must learn to accept others with their vices.Give him some space,since he is shocked & hurt.LAter hand hima note with all your feelings and emotions.Dont' just bug him right now.
    good luck

  6. #6
    New Born waiter's Avatar
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    hey dear,

    mam has provided u some valuable advice. but if u are looking for a friend, u can mail me at neonflash@rediffmail.com.i am feeling sorry for u, but to be honest what does he expect that he will find a virgin angel in bed in today's fast paced cruel society?

  7. #7
    SB Guru Lieutenant-Colonel
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    Hi!

    Nothing much you can do now except to accept what he has said and move on in life.

    As the moderator says and I agree, it's better that it has happened 6 months in to the relationship and not after 6 years of marriage and 2 kids later. Most men do not mind having a girlfriend who is modern and open to physical intimacy before marriage but always look for a wife, whose never been in a relationship and is a virgin!!

    Weak men like him do not have the courage to listen and accept the truth. If he loved you enough to marry you, he should have been able to respect you and accept you with your truth.

    Do not think even twice and move on because even if he marries you after knowing this truth, he will never let you forget it all your married life

  8. #8
    SB Addict ganesh111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saumya susheel View Post
    hi, i am in luv with a guy from 6 months, and last monday he told me that he want to marry me.. i said yes i want to live with u.
    And then he took me to a beach where we had a talk and he asked me to be honest and tell if i had any past relatiosnhip..He never asked about them before.
    its true i once loved a guy and we were close, close in the sense we were really close in all ways!
    So i told him about this after hearing this he looked tense and then didnt talk much for 30 minutes..he then said that its difficult for him to marry me if what i told is true.
    I asked y?? i only told the truth.. and he says he can't marry a girl who had sex with everybody. I asked what u mean by that, its not everybody but i loved only one guy in past and now i have no contact with him..
    But he won't listen to me and said lets part here..It may be easy for him but he made my life difficult..if he wanted to do this what was the need for love episode?
    I feel miserable..

    You must be happy that it ended like this..suppose it happens after you people got married. He sure will get divorce. That would be worse. I dont think he is not the type of guy who can go with ur past. U better leave this aside and forget

  9. #9
    SB Addict narayanhegde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saumya susheel View Post
    hi, i am in luv with a guy from 6 months, and last monday he told me that he want to marry me.. i said yes i want to live with u.
    And then he took me to a beach where we had a talk and he asked me to be honest and tell if i had any past relatiosnhip..He never asked about them before.
    its true i once loved a guy and we were close, close in the sense we were really close in all ways!
    So i told him about this after hearing this he looked tense and then didnt talk much for 30 minutes..he then said that its difficult for him to marry me if what i told is true.
    I asked y?? i only told the truth.. and he says he can't marry a girl who had sex with everybody. I asked what u mean by that, its not everybody but i loved only one guy in past and now i have no contact with him..
    But he won't listen to me and said lets part here..It may be easy for him but he made my life difficult..if he wanted to do this what was the need for love episode?
    I feel miserable..
    Sad truth is he doesnt want to continue......!!!
    It will be better for u also to end this, burying it inside ur mind. Or its going to hurt u tremendously

  10. #10
    Young Gun death.wish18's Avatar
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    i really dnt understand y did he do so....u didnt ask him abut his past grl friends???

    it maybe tht th guy is kinda conservative nd waz nt much open 2 all ths thtz y whn he got 2 knw all ths abut u thn he got shocked.........

    gal nw if u really wnt ths guy back thn i thnk u can jst do 1 thng nd tht is u tell him tht nw itz only him nd u love him frm ur heart, soul, mind, evrythng....

    u nevr played wth his emotions nd u actually wanted 2 b truthful 2 him thtz y u tld evrythng abut ur past....

    except ths there is nthin more tht u can do.....it would b bettr tht u guyz do really part wayz.....

    tak care

  11. #11
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    Your past should remain in the past and not be an issue with your present partner. The sad reality is no matter how modern or educated men get, some of them remain male chauvinist p*gs, they can jerk off to anything that has a pair of legs but feel robbed of their manhood if they are not the first and only man in a woman's life and get a high from their woman claiming he is the only man. Honesty is not a pre requisite. So smart women simply lie to stroke their ego and pray their white lies remain buried. Some even get surgery to become virgins once more and cover their tracks. Any man high on such self righteous rants of one woman's man, only virgins, only man BS actually asks for it. They are cheated on the most. But I am glad you were honest and did not take the easy route out. Karma is a b*tch. The lie may have come back to bite you later on. Take it easy. You will find a mature sensible guy who deserves you and will love you regardless of your past. Don't feel miserable over an immature brat.
    Last edited by chickflick; 04-10-2009 at 09:26 AM.

  12. #12
    SUBLIME Colonel enjoy_lol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saumya susheel View Post
    hi, i am in luv with a guy from 6 months, and last monday he told me that he want to marry me.. i said yes i want to live with u.
    And then he took me to a beach where we had a talk and he asked me to be honest and tell if i had any past relatiosnhip..He never asked about them before.
    its true i once loved a guy and we were close, close in the sense we were really close in all ways!
    So i told him about this after hearing this he looked tense and then didnt talk much for 30 minutes..he then said that its difficult for him to marry me if what i told is true.
    I asked y?? i only told the truth.. and he says he can't marry a girl who had sex with everybody. I asked what u mean by that, its not everybody but i loved only one guy in past and now i have no contact with him..
    But he won't listen to me and said lets part here..It may be easy for him but he made my life difficult..if he wanted to do this what was the need for love episode?
    I feel miserable..
    one shud have the balls to listen or face the truth............ a person hu cannot accept u for the person u are..... and is ready to call it quits just becuase u had a past is not a man enough........... and its better not to be with someone like him........... u desrve someone better with a right mindset.......... its good for u in a way.............

    if u dont want ur life to be in a mess than leave him...... becuase if at all he accpets u now..... he will always doubt u and in every single issue he will come up with this............... he was not right when he said: he cannot marry someone hu has sex with everybody"......... he seems to be idiot leave him

    all the best

    god bless u
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box
    THE X - GANG ..........
    ]

  13. #13
    New Born digambar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saumya susheel View Post
    hi, i am in luv with a guy from 6 months, and last monday he told me that he want to marry me.. i said yes i want to live with u.
    And then he took me to a beach where we had a talk and he asked me to be honest and tell if i had any past relatiosnhip..He never asked about them before.
    its true i once loved a guy and we were close, close in the sense we were really close in all ways!
    So i told him about this after hearing this he looked tense and then didnt talk much for 30 minutes..he then said that its difficult for him to marry me if what i told is true.
    I asked y?? i only told the truth.. and he says he can't marry a girl who had sex with everybody. I asked what u mean by that, its not everybody but i loved only one guy in past and now i have no contact with him..
    But he won't listen to me and said lets part here..It may be easy for him but he made my life difficult..if he wanted to do this what was the need for love episode?
    I feel miserable..
    THe guy is obsessed with past.. I am not saying its bad but he see things in a different way than u.
    Suppose u talk and get into his life somehow but still he will be full of suspicion.
    You two r different.. so its better to go ur own ways

  14. #14
    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by enjoy_lol View Post
    one shud have the balls to listen or face the truth............ a person hu cannot accept u for the person u are..... and is ready to call it quits just becuase u had a past is not a man enough........... and its better not to be with someone like him........... u desrve someone better with a right mindset.......... its good for u in a way.............

    if u dont want ur life to be in a mess than leave him...... becuase if at all he accpets u now..... he will always doubt u and in every single issue he will come up with this............... he was not right when he said: he cannot marry someone hu has sex with everybody"......... he seems to be idiot leave him

    all the best

    god bless u
    wow is sey better ans nai ho sakta,really gud frend enjoy.i really agree wid u the person who is nt accepting her past now as a lover how will he accept her after marriying her.so it wud b stupidity to thnk abt a future wid him,baki this is your life u can better decide abt it.tk cr.

  15. #15
    New Born rajinders's Avatar
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    if he loves ur history more than u, there is no need to cling to him...dont worry and make urself feel bad. there is no mistake from u in this situation. he is different type and thats it

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