Afraid of sex due to past abuse!!

bal_veeer · 06-10-2009, 04:11 PM

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

**prakash27** · 07-10-2009, 01:05 PM

The past sex abuse affected u!! But dont feel inferior to anybody because of it!! What ur uncle did was mistake u didnt do anything wrong!!
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**simplysexy** · 07-10-2009, 01:24 PM

Dear U!!!!!

I dont think that the reason for ur sexual fear is ur uncle had abused u..

But what i will like to advice u is dat u must try and speak frankly to ladies. After u do good in this, then u can move forward. But first u must accomplish the task of speaking to ladies fluently and frankly. That will erase ur pressure a bit. And one advice for u, Don't look at gals as sex toys but realize that they are also human. So whenever u have feelings for a gal. Try to speak to her first properly and afterwards think of sex..

**Preeto Maam** · 07-10-2009, 02:01 PM

Hi!

Yes, childhood sex abuse impacts the future sexual behavior in may people and in many different ways. Its not at all unlikely that your present fear is due to this reason.

My dear, you may require the help of a counsellor to come to terms with the past. Thats nothing to be ashamed of and you will be able to see the past sexual abuse in the correct perspective and handle future life with confidence.

**enjoy_lol** · 07-10-2009, 03:10 PM

yeah child abuse does make an impact and effect on the mind of a youth..... and follows with him till her grows in ur case it was not just a one of incidence it was done on regular basis............ thats y name of sex would have u in a different emotion all together than any other normal guy..........

what u really need is counsellor and leaving ur past behind similarly as those are beihnd u

all the best

god bless u

**ganesh111** · 07-10-2009, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by bal_veeer

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

Its time for u to leave past behind.. masturbation or sex is not bad or crime. Do not feel guilty on that. Also seeing a woman's gorgeous pix is also no reason to get shy. Try to increase ur self confidence and if it does not work go to counselling

**jk_singh** · 07-10-2009, 05:44 PM

Doing sex or doing masturbation is not bad!!!
Its time for u to bury the old sexual abuse by ur uncle from ur mind
ALso take help from psychiatrist if u r unable to control ur emotions

**zoheb_sk** · 07-10-2009, 06:17 PM

plz go and **** back ur uncle

**rangnath** · 08-10-2009, 02:31 AM

Originally Posted by bal_veeer

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

fear of sex always is linked with some shock in past..first of all u have to make ur midn believe nothing is ur fault.
ur uncle made u do all these things..and u don't have to feel guilty for his mistakes. In case u need help in forgetting this go for a counselling session

**bhushan1982** · 08-10-2009, 08:56 AM

Originally Posted by bal_veeer

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

You don't have to torture urself with past thoughts..uncle abused u, what can u do at that age about it anyway. Such experiences always leaves shock on the victim. u also had it. You can have normal life but it will need a good effort from u also..
Most suited solution is alredy given by Maam, looking for a counsellor.

**Beauty_Reclined** · 08-10-2009, 01:36 PM

You need professional help to deal with your PAST Abuse! .. You can try seeking help of your close frinds or us but the truth of the matter is, its something only a therapist can deal with ...I suggest you loook at local listings of counseling centers and get the help you need/want/deserve !! Stalling time will only torment your mind so i suggest the sooner the better! Not only for yourself but your wife!

**japun** · 08-10-2009, 11:41 PM

u r right there is a huge chance that the old abuse has put permanent wounds on ur mind and thats what make u afraid of sex..u have also gone to an extent that u believe sex and nudity as something bad..u even thinking urself as who has done some mistake..the solution of this problem must start from inside u..u must understand there is nothing wrong in u.. believe it as a nightmare and forget it..ur tension in the presence of women is fear of women..try ur best to overcome it by making friends with some girl whom u like..slowly u can change and if its not working a doc is the best thing next to do..

**anandjain** · 09-10-2009, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by bal_veeer

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

Dont feel guilty by doing masturbation !!

And don't keep remembering old sex abuse !!

U can do nothing about it now to undo it !!

Only thing u can do is to remove it from ur mind !!

If u need help dont hesitate to take from a doc !!

**chickflick** · 09-10-2009, 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by bal_veeer

i`m a 25 yr old guy n i hav a problem and its that i`m afraid of sex..whnevr i`m in presnce of women i get very tensed..and i sweat.
and i masturbate but after that i feel guilty..inside my mind i think sex as something guilty..
whn i was very young my uncle sexually abused me..
he made me do anal sex and oral sex for many years but i didnt kno it coz i was young then..
is it the reason i fear sex?? is it reason i feel shy and fear whn i read soething about sex or see sexy women's pictures??? plz tell me if i can hav normal life now??

It is deeply disturbing to read on monsters lurking in homes that feed on innocence, whatever happened was never your fault in any way. Talking to a counselor and joining a support group helps you open up about it and find closure. Also try to actively block it out of your mind and whenever your mind goes back to the abuse, stop yourself and try to think of or get busy in something totally unrelated. Deliberately distract yourself. In time you will forget the abuse it won't haunt anymore. To overcome your shyness make friends with women in a group, gain confidence talking to them then find someone you can be intimate with. You will lead an absolutely normal life, believe and it will be. I do hope you move on from the past abuse and put it behind you.

**manmohanjoshi** · 11-10-2009, 10:51 AM

Being used as a sex object by ur perverted uncle has taken away the confidence from u..what u should do is to work on that point - increasing confidence levels. You must be now feeling inferior to women because of the way ur uncle used u. Does anybody else know about it other than u and ur uncle? if nobody knows then remove it from u mind also. If somebody knows then also its no problem, because u didnt do anything, u were only used by another. Important thing now is not to let anybody else use u like this for their sex satisfaction in future