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Thread: Married, but must pretend to be virgin

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    Default Married, but must pretend to be virgin

    i love a guy who is from my community. we both had sex and did court marage. my parents found out and now they are getting us divorced. im scared that if they get me married to some1 else he might find out abt my court marriage n sex cuz i ve had sex many times with him. kindly help me out cuz my parents wil never agree cuz of his education.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, that's quite a situation, isn't it? You are married but after your divorce, you have to pretend to be an unmarried woman. I do feel for you my dear.

    Well, don't worry about anything. The hymen is the only physical evidence of virginity and many women break theirs in many ways. And some are born without one. So I guess, thats one thing that is in your favour.

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    Hi

    Further to what the moderator said - Do "Kegel" excercises. Tighten your vaginal muscles, imagine you are urinating and you stop midstream, this is how you tighten those muscles. Hold for a few minutes. Might help

    However have you given a thought how will you handle few other situations, should they arise

    what if neighbors or distant relatives spread careless rumors and your husband found out about your marriage

    What if the ex-husband decides to speak about it to someone and it reaches your husband

    Court marriage and legal divorce are documented in court and should some one want to do a background check on you, I am sure there must be a way, even in India to find out about this.

    Please I am not trying to stress you more but just making you aware that may be honesty might not be the best policy option for you - but you will be always scared your husband found out about your first marriage.

    Are you comfortable with the thought of entering a relationship as pure as marriage with so much of past burden of lies. Think well

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    welll me n dat guy r actualli wrkin on his education ryte nw... he is educated, bt its jus dat he left it in da middle, so v r wrkin on him gettin started with it again... chances r dat hopefulli v bth will get married bt incase of all dose things dat happened in past realli scares me.. n i think virignity is nt a prob bt da court marriage myte definitely arise some problems, n above everythn i cannot think of gettin married to sum1 else n sleepin wid sum1 else wid soo much lies n wid no feelins n wid guilt...

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    Young Gun death.wish18's Avatar
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    i guess ur family is playin marriage marriage wth u.....

    jst nt gettin ny thng 2 advice or sudgest u...

    can jst wish u gud luck 4 th future

    tak care

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    Quote Originally Posted by decentgirl View Post
    welll me n dat guy r actualli wrkin on his education ryte nw... he is educated, bt its jus dat he left it in da middle, so v r wrkin on him gettin started with it again... chances r dat hopefulli v bth will get married bt incase of all dose things dat happened in past realli scares me.. n i think virignity is nt a prob bt da court marriage myte definitely arise some problems, n above everythn i cannot think of gettin married to sum1 else n sleepin wid sum1 else wid soo much lies n wid no feelins n wid guilt...
    Good that you r doing something positive. Remember, love, trust and commitment would never disappoint you, and help you both grow and reach greater heights.
    But, cheating by hiding things is Inhuman. .how can your parents ask you(if asked) to hide stuff from new guy, who has no fault, that would be inhuman, insane thing to happen.
    It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. . .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i love a guy who is from my community. we both had sex and did court marage. my parents found out and now they are getting us divorced. im scared that if they get me married to some1 else he might find out abt my court marriage n sex cuz i ve had sex many times with him. kindly help me out cuz my parents wil never agree cuz of his education.
    I dont get this you're an adult now plus you're married. Wht happend to your husband when you divorce do he agree wit this? and what will hapend if your new husband found out? he will hate you and your family. Try to work it out with your husband and do make your family relise. Do what's best for you and good luck..

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    New Born tanzil007's Avatar
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    I cannot u/stand why u guys hv sex before u/standing everything. U all should change this type of sex hving attiyude.

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    Lord Sachinam Major PARYANS's Avatar
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    if u love the guy then "no divorce " at any cost.but u dont then marry d another guy. Hymen is not a confirmed sign of virginity. He wont know unless he is a doctor or a sex addict himself.So dont worry.

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    SB MahaGuru Colonel
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    u cant hide court merrage
    but u can hide ur physical relation with ur court hubby

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    SUBLIME Colonel enjoy_lol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i love a guy who is from my community. we both had sex and did court marage. my parents found out and now they are getting us divorced. im scared that if they get me married to some1 else he might find out abt my court marriage n sex cuz i ve had sex many times with him. kindly help me out cuz my parents wil never agree cuz of his education.
    well its a weird situation and so is the way u are taking it............. u love him?.... if u did than how come ur not bothered that u will be divorced to him and he wont be in ur life anymore what ur concerned off is about if or not ur new one will come to know.......... strange indeed....... if u knew ur parents wont agree than y did u marry......... its a complete mess u were just troubling him and creating trouble for urself.......... now what have u tot of this guy poor one married u was invovled with and now he is being divorced for this silly reason

    anyways coming to ur query.... since the marraige was in wraps..... its just ur parsnts ur love and u hi know about it...so chances are bleak that ur new guy will come to know..... unles and untill ur current one spills the bean...... but doesnt seem likely he wud..... virginity ...... its only u hu can tell ur husband if ur virgin or not........

    so u can act

    all the best
    Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box
    THE X - GANG ..........
    ]

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    read this post carefully and in the later portion of this page, there re lot of topics given which u can take advantage of, about hymen..
    http://forum.santabanta.com/showthread.htm?t=163140

    Also, I'd like to say, that be honest with your new husband. That will probably help you more than hiding about this thing from your husband, coz this thing will sooner or later surely come out in front of your new husband or you would be added pressure and tension throughout your life. So why dont rectify and remove this problem from the start and tell everything straight forward in front of your husband in the start....
    For saying thanks 4 the advise, you can mail me at mittar21@gmail.com

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    hummm.........u wana get married again without letting ur new husband knowing that u were earlier married......a really big secret to hide mam......he is going to be ur husband....either tellthe truth or dont leave ur 1st husband,,,,,,,,,,be loyal to urself

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    SB ICON Lieutenant General don99's Avatar
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    it's complex......... take own decision........

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    i love a guy who is from my community. we both had sex and did court marage. my parents found out and now they are getting us divorced. im scared that if they get me married to some1 else he might find out abt my court marriage n sex cuz i ve had sex many times with him. kindly help me out cuz my parents wil never agree cuz of his education.
    u should have got married with ur prnts by ur side and this would not have happened now just be strong in front of ur parents and try to fight ur way to save ur marriage

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