I am married with my gf since more than one year now. There are many up and down in my life. First was my parents were not ready for marriage as she is like very modern and from very rich family and I live in not too modern (party types) not too rich family. At that time my parents were worried whether she will take my care or not as she is having 3 maids at her house and at my home she has to do every household things.
Any ways at that time I convinced my parents and all were happy and I finally got married. Now the problems which I have are as follows.
1) She was having 2 affairs before (sexual one). She told this to me before marriage and I accepted her even though this was my first time. Problem here is once I had breakup with her before marriage and at that time she called one of my good friend and was abusing about me and said that her previous bf was better and she still meets her. Now when we patched up, I asked her about this statement of hers to my very good friend. First she denied the fact and later She said that she was frustrated and said this thing and she never met her previous bf after we met.
Now I am worried will she be trustworthy person.
2) She is very extrovert and get gelled with all my friends very well. I dont have problem but sometimes she is so dominating that she speaks whatsoever to me in front of my friends. I keep my cool at that time but I hate when she insults me in front of my childhood friends.
3) She sometimes become so much extrovert that she use to do masti with my friends like slapping them of hitting them from behind. I dont like her to touch any of my male friends for masti. I explained her many times but she never understands this.
4) Sometimes when I try to explain her very softly about what I like and what I dont, for eg I dont like her touching masti with my friends then she becomes so angry and says that you dont trust me, I am not a whore and sometimes arguments become so heated that she abuse me and slaps me.. I warned her many times that I dont want to beat you and control yourself, she then also starts snatching my hair and slaps me tight. in self defense I just hold his hand tight and by chance she got some mark in this physical abuse se blams that I beat her.
5) I dont smoke or drink. she use to smoke before marriage. Before marriage she told me that she quitted smoking but after marriage she told that she desperately needs to smoke and told that she never quit smoking but now she is ready to quit and she quit smoking now but there is one fear in me that she might be cheating on me.
6)She do what she likes. If I scold her she starts arguments and in order to avoid arguments I let her do what she likes.
7) sometimes she starts crying for small small things.
*****This were the bad side of her but the good thing about her is she respects my parents a lot. She do everything for my parents. But she never understands my needs and take me for granted and expects me to help her doing her work.. My parents not knowing that we have physical fights many a times. But now touch wood fights becoming less but still there is a fear in me that if I will tell her something and she feels bad she will start beating me.
Another good thing about her is when arguments got over she becomes normal and take initiative to say sorry and to say that she loves me alot. But the moments of that severe arguments and physical fights almost takes me to heart attack.
I dont want to tell all this to my parents, as they are happy with her and I dont want to spoil her image in front of them. I also cant take divorce as I tried hard to convince my parents to marry her and now as she taking care of my parents well and my parents love her, i have to live and adjust anyway with her.
Please help me how to handle this type of case.... i feel helpless as I am trying everything but things are not in my control.