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Thread: Gay friend in love with me

  1. #1
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    Default Gay friend in love with me

    Heello, plz help me with a serious problem. I dont know how to solve this

    Im a guy(28) and I have a good friend, he is gay. Tillnow i never had girlfriend, but definitely im not gay. Its coz i couldnt find right girl and partly busy with my own life.
    This guy and me are close, and he tells me everything about his life.
    Two days back he said he is in love with me and want to be closer to me and my life.
    I was shocked coz i never saw it that way, adn i asked we are already good friends and what u mean by closer?
    he says he want to be li ke real couple etc.. I said we are close enough now and then left the talk. He is hurt i doubt. After he didnt call me or contact me till today morning.
    And todya morning he called me and said he will die if i not agree.
    So now this is becomeing very nasty, and i dont know what to do. Help me plz

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, that's a sticky situation for sure. All you can do is to talk to him and say that you are not inclined that way at all. You feel affectionate towards him a as a friend, but can't think of being in a relationship with him.

    You will have to be firm and kind with him, but do stick to your guns. You may want to withdraw slowly also, because the situation can certainly become messy. If you need to take the help of some trusted third person, please do so, because you may not be able to handle the emotional baggage he's going to heap on you, and he may need someone who is uninvolved, to talk to.

  3. #3
    SB Champion Lieutenant prakash27's Avatar
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    Sometimes evenif the news u have to tell somebody is bad, u have to do it!! Here also, u want to tell him something which he wont like, but u should. Bcoz if u dont tell, then things will get worse!! Be strict in ur terms that u will not go for such an affair.
    agony aunt, marriage advice, relationship help, online agony aunt, relationship advice

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    Smile Email is one rescue point

    HI,
    Email your friend mentioning in polite words that your orientation is straight, and that you are, and will remain good friend of his as he is a genuine person.

    Keep your cell off for 3- 4 days [means, get out of touch with him, by all communication media, for some time]. This would help him resolve his emotions by himself. [If he shows those expressions to you, he would never ever resolve, he'd be actually venting them and problem would remain, also, it'd become headache for both the parties]. He'd come out as a sincere and understanding person.

    Regards,
    Chmpk, the Inglourious.




    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Heello, plz help me with a serious problem. I dont know how to solve this

    Im a guy(28) and I have a good friend, he is gay. Tillnow i never had girlfriend, but definitely im not gay. Its coz i couldnt find right girl and partly busy with my own life.
    This guy and me are close, and he tells me everything about his life.
    Two days back he said he is in love with me and want to be closer to me and my life.
    I was shocked coz i never saw it that way, adn i asked we are already good friends and what u mean by closer?
    he says he want to be li ke real couple etc.. I said we are close enough now and then left the talk. He is hurt i doubt. After he didnt call me or contact me till today morning.
    And todya morning he called me and said he will die if i not agree.
    So now this is becomeing very nasty, and i dont know what to do. Help me plz

  5. #5
    SB Addict jaggy_sa's Avatar
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    YOu dont have to feel sympathy for his suicide threat!!! Such threats is only emotional blackmailing usually... Anyway keep an eye on him to see he does not harm himself!!! Wait few days with out saying anything. Whenever he asks about it say no, at othertimes keep distance!!!

  6. #6
    SB Champion Lieutenant siddharth3.5's Avatar
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    His suicide is one issue u got..but apart from that see how much you value his friendship. Probaly when u tell him u are not interested u will lose that friendship..actually u will not be able to behave like in past anyway after this incident. So decide how u want it in future

  7. #7
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    You are not gay, and he wants a gay relationship.......so the terms are clear. His wish can never be true. That u should make him understand....
    If he does something stupid, its not ur problem if u have tried ur best to explain. Or get him help from a psychiatrist

  8. #8
    SB Addict patelyash's Avatar
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    If u want to end it, do it now, because gay people will get wrong meaning and will keep on troubling u. He will not leave following u.
    Ending contact fully is better

  9. #9
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    let him die...

  10. #10
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    Dont worry he is not going to suicide !!

    ITs just a threat to make u decide in his favor

    He thinks he can win ur lvoe by threats

    Shows he is immature too !! Stay away from such guys

    Can become dangerous to themselves and others at any time

  11. #11
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    Holy crap! The only way he'll believe that you are straight is when he'll see you with a girl. Man you really need a girlfriend in your life now. Or there's one other option if you have a female friend, tell her to be your girlfriend in front of the guy. When the guy will see it, he'll automatically understand. Good Luck!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Heello, plz help me with a serious problem. I dont know how to solve this

    Im a guy(28) and I have a good friend, he is gay. Tillnow i never had girlfriend, but definitely im not gay. Its coz i couldnt find right girl and partly busy with my own life.
    This guy and me are close, and he tells me everything about his life.
    Two days back he said he is in love with me and want to be closer to me and my life.
    I was shocked coz i never saw it that way, adn i asked we are already good friends and what u mean by closer?
    he says he want to be li ke real couple etc.. I said we are close enough now and then left the talk. He is hurt i doubt. After he didnt call me or contact me till today morning.
    And todya morning he called me and said he will die if i not agree.
    So now this is becomeing very nasty, and i dont know what to do. Help me plz

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by unbeatable_virus View Post
    Holy crap! The only way he'll believe that you are straight is when he'll see you with a girl. Man you really need a girlfriend in your life now. Or there's one other option if you have a female friend, tell her to be your girlfriend in front of the guy. When the guy will see it, he'll automatically understand. Good Luck!!!
    fantastic ............. greatest suggestion .............. try this out man !!!! this guy is smart !!!!!

  13. #13
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    You havent tried.. girly love.. as you were busy with your life...

    Try,, him.. if you enjoy. fine.. if you dont.. then tell him.. and move on.... then find a girl..

    I think - being with a guy will be better - I wish could try that too...

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by sb_fan2 View Post
    You havent tried.. girly love.. as you were busy with your life...

    Try,, him.. if you enjoy. fine.. if you dont.. then tell him.. and move on.... then find a girl..

    I think - being with a guy will be better - I wish could try that too...

    Kaun roka???

    Go Ahead!!!

  15. #15
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    thanks for liking my comment..and for your info..I'm a girl not a guy
    Quote Originally Posted by subhadipgoswami View Post
    fantastic ............. greatest suggestion .............. try this out man !!!! this guy is smart !!!!!
    Last edited by unbeatable_virus; 21-02-2010 at 02:49 AM.

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