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Thread: Parents backtracking on marriage

  1. #1
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    Default Parents backtracking on marriage

    madam i am involved with my bf for past 7 years nerly now i told about my relationship to my mother about when it started itself she likes the boy but now he wants me to marry him

    i am also ready and told my parents about it as even my elder sister got married last year so no issues about my marriage now we both are earning very well since 2 years but my parents have a problem that his parents are no more they died about 14 years ago and was brought up by his uncle
    my parents say he has no financial backbone and that is very important for a married life and also no social circle of his own
    if this was the reason then why did they wait for 7 years to tell me it and what about him he will be totally emotionallly shttered he relies a lot on me and i know he can not exist without me how can i now persuade my parents as i also do not want to take a wild step and hurt their love and sacrifices

  2. #2
    ♥♥Salma♥♥ Captain Want2bCA's Avatar
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    See dear,it is only you who is going to convince your parents.
    What is the need for financial backbone?There are already two of you earning,I am pretty sure its sufficient for two of you to survive.

    Why dont you ask your parents as to why they dint object earlier?Everything was known to them beforehand,then why suddenly this issue?

    Sit down with them and have a hearty conversation.Tell your boyfriend also to intervene and express before your parents as to how much he loves you.

    And see the positive side,no in-laws hence no jhagda/rona-dhona.

    Its not a very big issue dear,can be solved with a bit of understanding.

  3. #3
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    Hi

    As you both are earning well and settled.. and I am sure 7 years have been long enough time for you to be sure of your feeling for each other - Go ahead and marry the man you love -

    As for your parents -

    • Tell them of your decision firmly, that after being with a guy for 7 years, you will not be able to marry someone else
    • They can be the elders/ the parents he doesn't have
    • They should be happy that even after marriage you will be closer to them
    • Not only their daughter will be happy with this man but also they will get a son
    • Get your boyfriend to know your parents better - let them see his good qualities which made you love him

    In all this my only concern is - you say "he will be totally emotionallly shttered he relies a lot on me and i know he can not exist without me" - no where it says that you feel the same.. I hope what you feel for him is love and not pity?

  4. #4
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    Dear Please don't even think to leave that guy, he is trust worthy and when he is lacking something he can be more loyal to u. Just convince your parents and if they dont take a decision after consulting your BF. I would further suggest that U must pay extra care and affection to the great uncle of your BF who brought him up after death of his parents, the world is surviving only due to such great people, GO AHEAD and take a decision, God will help u in every sphere of life.

  5. #5
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Both the above users have given you very positive suggestions. In fact, i don't think that I have anything to add to that at all. You would do well to go by their advice.

  6. #6
    SB Guru Major veekayy's Avatar
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    financial strength is necessary for marriage. Ur parents are right in this..

  7. #7
    New Born Zen.Master's Avatar
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    I will s upport your parents in this matter. Because what they say is really logical and something right. You should think about it with a cool head. No need to believe what they say as such, but do ur own enquiry

  8. #8
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    Financial backbone and social circle are two important factors in a social life... its not in marriage alone but thats how society works. Your parents have got a point there....a really good point, which is worthy of some thouhts

  9. #9
    SB Guru Major akshay.cool's Avatar
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    Money is not everything.. but money is requirement for family. I mean if u are bachelor not too much money is needed, but when u begin to live together it becomes very important thing..

  10. #10
    SB Addict mastinfun's Avatar
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    parents to apne bhalayi ke liye ye bolte hai na..
    wo tumare burayi hone wali koyi bat soch bhi nahi nahi sakte..

  11. #11
    New Born Madanjit's Avatar
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    They have gone favorable to this to some extent. and then they are going back. Well, that clearly show that there will be sufficient reasons. Dont u think so???

  12. #12
    New Born free-bird's Avatar
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    Whether they are right or wrong, u have to check if somethings wrong. This one small decision may be affecting ur entire life

  13. #13
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    see if the boy is really good go with him , try to make ur parents understand , about financial backing u both are working then why to worry ? make ur parents understand some how , tell anybody from ur close people to make ur parents understand , anyways ,tc, Best of luck , byeeeeeeeee
    Last edited by ickon2004; 08-03-2010 at 02:50 PM.

  14. #14
    SB Champion Lieutenant siddharth3.5's Avatar
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    I dont see anything unusual in this.. they may have found something bad afterall. Discuss with them to know about the situation more..

  15. #15
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    There could another reason why thy are not favorable for it.. Thats what my mind tells me. Do your homeworks well as its a very long relationship

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