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Thread: Friend's fiance won't donate kidney

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Friend's fiance won't donate kidney

    Hey
    I got a friend, who found out she has a kidney problem...so will be needing a transplant in the future, but could be a few months, or even after 5 years!

    Her parents aint compatible with her...so the next port of call she had was her fiance. She had told him frm the beginning dat she suffers from this, and he said i dont care, agar zaroorat pare to main apni kidney dunga...

    Now tht she needs him, she thought he is trustworhty and as he always said big big things i'll do this 4 u, save ur life etc...she asked him. In return he goes 'i never expected it to be so soon. dnt mind darling but at the moment i cant because if something happens to me wht will happen 2 u'
    and she replied saying 'ur not gonna die...all u have 2 do is give ONE kidney, and there r millions of ppl out there hu r living with just one...'
    But anyway, she is heartbroken now....she doesnt have any other living donor...and the person whom she trusted, always had faith on tht yeh he will do it (as he told her and told in front of HER parents too)!!!

    What should she do???? It looks like he is just turning away. Its not an excuse tht he'll give it later/think about it after...she needs it ANYTIME!

    Plz help....she really is upset, the 1 whom she believed, who she had faith on is giving these excuses.....

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, i do empathise with how your friend is feeling but I'm not sure that I'm going to judge the fiance too harshly either my child. The thing is my dear, that people get scared. He may re-onsider, but we cant depend on that either.
    I know how saddened the girl must be feeling, but he is scared to let go a part of his body. Its sad and disappointing, but thats how people are.

    Its best that she does not depend on him but the family starts making alternative arrangements

  3. #3
    SB Addict anandjain's Avatar
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    Though one kideny is enough to live people are scared to donate !!

    They are afraid what if something goes wrong with the remaining

    Trust me even ur friend may be scared if she was on same situation

    Anway its not right to judge his love through this matter only

    Not many people in this world are selfless

    Her love must be towardsd him not to his kidney alone !!

    And dont lose hope, keep looking for, u may find another donor

  4. #4
    SB Addict bhushan1982's Avatar
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    You have to understand something, its his body, its his kidney..... and completely its his choice whether to give to anybody, may be its his love or parents. If he doesnt want to thats the end of the story.... nothing can be done on that, he has full authority for that.

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    hey...i understand wht ur all saying and i did tell her that.
    but its not she wants him for his kidney or something.
    she is just confused...and hurt
    tht if he never wanted to, why did he always make false promises, give her false hopes?
    he always said whenever it would be needed,he would b there...and now when she IS in need, this is happening.....

    but yeh, i dont think she is forcing him or anything like that. its just concerning the above....

  6. #6
    SB Champion Lieutenant siddharth3.5's Avatar
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    at this time of need he is going back, thats very sad... i think ur friend should immediately seek for other donor...Each moment is precious. Its more or less certain that he will not donate now

  7. #7
    New Born Zen.Master's Avatar
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    He can choose not to donate his kidney. Likewise she has every right to decide she wants to be wtih him or not.

    Its all personal choices in the end.

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    Im ready to donate u my kidney, but in return i need some money coz im poor at the moment and i got lots of loan to be paid, if u can then plz do mail me on poojakhatwani97@yahoo.com

  9. #9
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    U can also help her out by giving Ur kidney as u looks very concerned and if u too cant contact me i can help it out : 9650884499

  10. #10
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    hey people
    i cant give her mine because i am not compatible with her, unfortunately.
    thats the problem...otherwise would have!!

    and 2 others who r offering for it...i dnt know abt that, coz its wht SHE wants....need to find out. and problem is, none of u r in the UK...and i dont think she will want to bring someone from abroad....

  11. #11
    SB Legend Brigadier General marsflower's Avatar
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    Selfish man.
    its her choic to decide..

  12. #12
    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    You know, I personally think your friend should put aside the issue with her fiance for now, and actively start making alternate arrangements as Preeto ji is suggesting. I'm hoping that one of these days she will get lucky and find a donor! Being emotional won't help her condition at least. I am thinking that maybe her fiance chickened out in the end, which is quite natural with most people. Yeah I know it hurts that he did so after making so many promises. But you know, this thing alone should not make her doubt her fiance's love or concern for her. Of course I may be wrong here. I do not know that man personally. But she needs to judge him according to other criteria too.

    But all in all, she and her family should search actively for a donor now. And regarding what she wants to do about her fiance, it's entirely upto her and there should be no hurry to make any decisions or take any steps immediately. You know, I am also kinda hoping that her fiance will soften up one of these days and realise his love for her and his duty towards her, and agree to donate his kidney!

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