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Thread: No physical relation after so many years!

  1. #1
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    Default No physical relation after so many years!

    Hello Mam..
    I m Anisha.
    I want to share and discuss my brother's problem with you.
    My brother is 28 years old and my bhabi is 26 year old.
    My Brother and a girl who is my bhabi now fell in love 7 years before.
    And they got engaged 5 years before in 2005.
    Then they both got married in November 2009 which is almost 7 months.
    But the problem is that my Bhabi and my brother is not till yet had fell in physical relation.
    My brother is all fine and wanted to involve in physical relation but my bhabi does not allow him to do anything like that.
    She doesn't even allow my brother to touch her.
    My brother have tried all tricks to make her fall in physical relation with her.
    He had talked to her mannier times but my bhabi is still not allowed my brother to do so.
    Me and my mom are very much worried about their relation.
    And we both don't understand that they had done Love marriage and its almost 7 years they both r in love with each other.
    Still they both love each other so much then what is the problem why my bhabi not getting involved in physical realtion with her husband.
    Please do respond to my query.me and my mom are in deep tention.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi Anisha,

    Ya, its a problem all right, specially since they have had a long love relationship before their marriage and should be familiar with each other, in fact, wanting a physical closeness.
    See, there could be some psychological reason behind your bhabhi's refusal for sex. She may have ingrained it in her mind that sex is 'dirty' or 'shameful' in some way. Or she may be thiking that it will hurt her, there may be shame of nudity, there may have been some history of child sex abuse...or she may simply not have sexual desire.
    Some people are asexual, which menas that they feel love and affection but just don't feel desire.
    Anyway, whatever it is, its obvious that your brother is not being able to convince her, so it may be best for them to see a marriage counsellor. Sex is an essential part of marriage and its also a big, big reason for estrangement within couples. This is something that needs to be resolved and if you need the intervention of a counsellor, fine...do it!

  3. #3
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    I fully agree with Preeto Ji. The one and only thing u can do is to make them visit a marriage counselor or psychologist beacuse what is going on here is absolutely abnormal.

  4. #4
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    Some girls who are into sex for the first time may be scared very much.
    That may be happening with your bhabhi also.
    If ur brother can ask her whats worrying her, then things may be easier to solve. Wait for few days so that she may get closer to him and to the family. If she still show dislike then he can ask her whats wrong.

  5. #5
    New Born Rumplestiltskin's Avatar
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    I think u or ur mom can do a good role in sorting out the problem.
    Since a woman will trust another woman more in such sensitive matters, you can easily get close to her and know whats the reason why she is going away from sex.
    Make a good environment in which she will be more relaxed with you and then try to know it. If you are of similar age as her, there is higher chance she will trust you more

  6. #6
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    My relative allowed her husband to touch after similar period!!

    check for other symptoms also. Its not a big problem ...but it is most probably a psychological problem. Also check if she have OCD, agrophobia like symptoms.

  7. #7
    New Born jcxz's Avatar
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    Either she has some wrong ideas about sex. Or some old incident is making her scared.
    Only she can tell, and for that you have to get her trust to make her speak out, or even better take her to a sexologist

  8. #8
    New Born Lister's Avatar
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    If ur brother himself asks it that can have an advantage.
    She might feel less embarassed in talking to him than any of you. Perhaps a psychiatrist may be required for her to reveal her problems competely. In any case dont get worried. This is common, and can be completely corrected in almost all cases

  9. #9
    SB Addict riyaz's Avatar
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    Ur Bhabhi needs 2 contct a betr n a clas psychtrst as soon as possibl.

  10. #10
    New Born mutantNinja's Avatar
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    If they cant sort it out between in between, then a joint counselling session is what they need.
    Through that the problems can be better found out

  11. #11
    New Born kukkiee's Avatar
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    She is surely afraid of sex. Or not mentally prepared.
    The exact reason can be found out only when she tells

  12. #12
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Hey,

    I'd say that your brother must confront to her that He is either getting Sex from her or some new girl in the neighborhood. 7 years of Love and No sex after marriage, Seems like a complete mess to me.

    G'day

  13. #13
    New Born diffikalt's Avatar
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    If it goes this way their marriage may be doomed.
    because sex is an essentail part in the success of a marriage. So make necessary arrangements to take them to a good marriage counsellor

  14. #14
    New Born aaron's Avatar
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    There must be some serious issue. You should ahve taken them to a psychologist earlier itself.
    Anyway better late than never, dont waste time now

  15. #15
    New Born scasb's Avatar
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    Either she is embarassed of some physical problem or she is having some kind of fear related to sex. Could be a minor problem as well

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