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Thread: dn want to marry to whom i dn love

  1. #1
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    Default dn want to marry to whom i dn love

    hello m 24 yrs girl...m deeply in love with a boy n he loves with me too..but we r nt frm same religion....my parents engaged me with another person forcfully...last week....i was physical with my bf almost daily....we both want to marry....his parents also dn agree.....n hes also jobless at ths piont of tym.......n other the other hand my would be husband is becoming too open to me,...he started talkin to me abt sex n all....he dosnt stop evn if i insist as he says he has ryt to talk abt sex with his wife.....he tells me that for first the girls bleed n 1O percnt chances are there that girls dn blleed in thAT case too the vaginal of the girl is too tight to penetrate easily.....he asked me whether m virgin or not i said yes i am.......he said "u beter be,otherwise it wont be good for u"...m afraid nw...i dn have any option rather than marry this man.....hw can i marry my bf???will it be a mistake to marry this man fo family sake....n when he will come to knw that m nt virgin...what will happen..shd i tell him nw???

  2. #2
    New Born viv4's Avatar
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    Your would be husband seem to be very rough and selfish type. Dont get married to him if you are not liking it.
    Suppose u cant marry ur current bf, but then also its better to marry somebody than this guy. He will be very abusive.

  3. #3
    New Born naanoo's Avatar
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    He is very much interested in virginity....

    So if u dont want to proceed with this marriage, all u have to do is tell him you had a past affair and you are not a virgin.
    But this has a prblem also, he can still marry you and make ur life miserable..

    Better option will be to tell him directly that you are not itnerested to marry him. To convince ur parents use the help someobdy in ur family

  4. #4
    SB MahaGuru Colonel deSi_CasaNovA's Avatar
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    Hi

    You are definitely in a tight situation where you know chances of marrying your BF is dim and afraid that your fiancee's obsession with virginity might create a storm in your marriage if you were to marry him eventually.Despite the wrong notion that is prevailing in his mind , don't you think asking such a question speaks volumes about his character and stupidity.You would definitely risk your future by tying the knot with him. At the moment the best you can do is convince your parents that interacting with him has revealed the darker shades of him and you don't fancy you chances for a happy married life. If you share a friend like bond with your mother may let her know what your fiancee is expecting.

    Also if you desperately want a life ahead with your BF , motivate him to work hard and get to a position where both of you can be confident enough to go against your parents and shoulder all the responsibilities together.

    Good Luck

  5. #5
    New Born skumar1982's Avatar
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    Marrying the person whom u love will be better than marrying someone who does not love you at all.
    But be careful, sometimes initian impression may not be true with some people. ANybody can change to better

  6. #6
    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    its better to move out of both the relationships tactfully......first one bcos ur guy is jobless at 24 ........one who is jobless 24 how did u think tht he will be able 2 support u ??????secondly both r from other religion.even if u r working and ur bf is jobless as of now ego problems will crop up resulting in relationship disharmony at any moment????before that happens its better to move out as soon as possible

    coming to ur fiance he seems to be a sex maniac as per your description.......how u get rid of both men is in ur hands and look for a genuine guy who loves u for what u are ...........


  7. #7
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    I am surprised to see nobody pointed this out.

    Please tell your hubby the truth, if he is not comfortable continuing the relationship then end it. I know it will be difficult for you to face your parents and the community, but you are the one who fell in love and you will have to stand up for it , it would be unfair of you to like some one else and marry some other poor soul.

  8. #8
    New Born rednicky's Avatar
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    There is a high chance that ur fiance will back off from the marriage if u tell him that u had previous sex...
    So that will get rid off all the problems for you

  9. #9
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    wat f the . ask u would be husband . same question is he ia vrigin or nt ..
    double minded person .
    dont marry . that guy .

    n the guy u love ask him . if he love u . so much ., than he can talk to ur [parent no matter wat cast or he has job or any thing else ./ u can still live happy ..
    so ur with each other .

    dear ask this question u will find ur answer 4 sure

  10. #10
    SB Guru Lieutenant-Colonel
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    Hi

    Calm down and first and foremost figure out what your problem is:

    - is it that your husband will find out on the first night that you are not a virgin

    - is it that you do not have the courage to stand up to your parents and tell them that you want to marry the person of your choice, the person you have been physically intimate with already..

    - Since you could be forced in to getting engaged, I am sure you will most probably be forced in to getting married also

    Few things for your general knowledge which might help you to calm down your anxieties a bit

    The presence of hymen or absence of it is no conclusive proof of virginity. However since it is so important for your husband, you can go in for hymenoplasty which is a small surgical procedure to repair or stitch back the hymen. It is available in all cities and can be done by any cosmetic surgeon or Gynecologist.

    Don't make the mistake of telling your husband even after marriage that you are not a virgin or you even had a boyfriend,

    There are some things that men just can't get out of their mind, so don't put it in his mind and if asked, say that it didn’t happened. There is no person on earth that can prove you wrong unless you have been pregnant.

    Living a lie for the rest of your life is wrong but But being from India I know the repercussions of calling off a marriage.If you do it you are going to be blasted by the society.If he calls it off you are going to be blasted by your parents and the society.

  11. #11
    New Born Vagish Rao's Avatar
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    Since u were constantly getting into physical with ur old bf, in my opinion u should not cheat ur fiance.
    Tell him what has happened, and about ur past. Or with his character if he knows it later, can cause u a lot of headaches

  12. #12
    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    You do not love your fiance, right? You only love your bf, right? You share such a deep physical and emotional bond with him..... then PLEASE don't marry the man your parents are suggesting! You'd only end up ruining 3 lives (your own, your bf's and your fiance's) and creating a disaster. Yes indeed your new fiance sounds small-minded and mean. All in all, he is NOT the guy for you and it would not be a happy marriage. Walk out of this situation while there's still time, and take a stand against your parents, for the sake of the love you share with your sweetheart. How can you dump him like this? This isn't the way it should be!

    And also, it is not right to lie to your fiance about your virginity. A marriage should not be based on lies from the start. It should be based on openness and honesty. And the fact that you're still in love with your bf and he's central in your mind only makes the matter even more crucial! Don't fool yourself and don't fool your husband to be! Tell him everything. He needs to know. Don't worry about what he thinks. In any case you need to get rid of him, right? Telling him the truth would help you in doing so, thus it would be to your advantage, right? And then you can simply wait till your sweetheart finds a job, and then maybe run away and marry him. I sincerely feel that would be the right thing to do. Just be strong and be clear on what you want! True love is very tough to find these days. Please stand up for the sake of your love and let GO of the other guy, unless you want to end up cheating both guys!

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