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Thread: Is physical relation before marriage safe?

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    Default Is physical relation before marriage safe?

    hi.I am 27 years old female.My problem is that i am not to decide whether to trust my boy friend or not.He is 2 years younger then me.We were together abroad for 1 year.But now i am in India and he is still overseas.We r in contact through phone only that also we talk once in a week.We haven't met from last one year.He is coming to India after few months but he want physical relationship with me before marriage.He is not ready for marriage right now.We have done oral sex many times when we were abroad but I am not ready for physical relationship before marriage.but he is saying that its must to go physically with him before marriage......i cn't understand what to do...plz help......

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    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    It is total rubbish when he tells you that it's a must to go physical before marriage!! I wonder what sort of rules/principles he's following! And most importantly, if you don't want physical relation before marriage, he must NOT force or compel you.
    You are doing the right thing, btw. Postponing sex for after marriage is always the safest, cleanest and the most respectable option. You NEVER know if this guy will indeed end up marrying you or not. You say you've only been together for 1 year, which is a really short period of time. Relationships could break ANYTIME, even after physical relationship or engagement. Sorry to discourage you, but such cases are very much prevalent these days! And your guy sounds rather "shallow" and lustful, to be honest. I wonder why oral sex failed to satisfy him!! So I'd urge you never to compromise on your limits and principles. Follow your instincts. You need to either find someone of similar principles, or get him to respect your boundaries. If this guy loves you truly, he'd respect them indeed! I hope that turns out to be the case.

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    SB Wizard Captain theachiever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    it is total rubbish when he tells you that it's a must to go physical before marriage!! I wonder what sort of rules/principles he's following! And most importantly, if you don't want physical relation before marriage, he must not force or compel you.
    You are doing the right thing, btw. Postponing sex for after marriage is always the safest, cleanest and the most respectable option. You never know if this guy will indeed end up marrying you or not. You say you've only been together for 1 year, which is a really short period of time. Relationships could break anytime, even after physical relationship or engagement. Sorry to discourage you, but such cases are very much prevalent these days! And your guy sounds rather "shallow" and lustful, to be honest. I wonder why oral sex failed to satisfy him!! So i'd urge you never to compromise on your limits and principles. Follow your instincts. You need to either find someone of similar principles, or get him to respect your boundaries. If this guy loves you truly, he'd respect them indeed! I hope that turns out to be the case.
    i agree ...................
    Wenever you miss sumone dont close your eyes to get der image into your head . . Jus pick da damn phone and cal dem . . .

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    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    There are many risks associated with pre-marital sex. Whatever you decide make sure its not forced on you. Decide logically on this matter. Do you think your relationship is strong and long enough to go to such an extent? Are you yourself willing to do this?

    If you plan to do it, make sure your bf is not one of those guys who treats girls like use-and-throw objects, as he hasn't promised you marriage. Secondly, always use protection like condoms and contraceptives etc.

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    SB Champion Lieutenant prashant4u's Avatar
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    In case of STD's its not safe who knows how many time the partner had sex with? Ur bf seems to get use ur body before marriage and yet he is not ready for marriage..Avoid sex with him but if he is committed to marry u and u also trust him then u can have it...

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    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    It is total rubbish when he tells you that it's a must to go physical before marriage!! I wonder what sort of rules/principles he's following! And most importantly, if you don't want physical relation before marriage, he must NOT force or compel you.
    You are doing the right thing, btw. Postponing sex for after marriage is always the safest, cleanest and the most respectable option. You NEVER know if this guy will indeed end up marrying you or not. You say you've only been together for 1 year, which is a really short period of time. Relationships could break ANYTIME, even after physical relationship or engagement. Sorry to discourage you, but such cases are very much prevalent these days! And your guy sounds rather "shallow" and lustful, to be honest. I wonder why oral sex failed to satisfy him!! So I'd urge you never to compromise on your limits and principles. Follow your instincts. You need to either find someone of similar principles, or get him to respect your boundaries. If this guy loves you truly, he'd respect them indeed! I hope that turns out to be the case.

    Dont get influenced by his bullshit philosophies. Dont go for sex.

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    His intentions might be good today. He would actually want to marry you. But nobody has seen the future , anything can happen.

    Decide what type of girl you are. If things don't work out between you for some reason would you be able to forget about your sexual past and move on ? If not don't do anything rite now. If he really loves you he will wait. ( he might pester you , he is a guy nothing wrong with tht , but will not leave you just cos you said no to sex. )

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    Default its really up to you !!! :)

    Quote Originally Posted by someya View Post
    hi.I am 27 years old female.My problem is that i am not to decide whether to trust my boy friend or not.He is 2 years younger then me.We were together abroad for 1 year.But now i am in India and he is still overseas.We r in contact through phone only that also we talk once in a week.We haven't met from last one year.He is coming to India after few months but he want physical relationship with me before marriage.He is not ready for marriage right now.We have done oral sex many times when we were abroad but I am not ready for physical relationship before marriage.but he is saying that its must to go physically with him before marriage......i cn't understand what to do...plz help......
    Ok, this is not even a question whether to trust him or not as its you who has to judge him by now whether he is really into you are juz simply using you.

    secondly, having physical or not is really up to you and u shud have it only if you are ok with it and not if ur bf is forcing you. that's not sex, its like he is physically forcing you and using you!!!!

    finally, are u ready to get married??? if yes , then is he ready to get married??? if NO , may b he wants to enjoy life a bit more, so juz meet his parents/ make him talk bout your relationship and make a arrangement for making future proposal so that later in future u ppl can b sure u two wil get married, that way u wont have these confusions nor get hurt emotionally.

    so he too can enjoy life now and marry u later as committed. so its really up to you to decide and find out instead of asking it here coz its your life!!!! make it happy so decide and do stuff pretty matured enjoy

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