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Thread: He’s not Mr. Perfect, but…

  1. #1
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    Question He’s not Mr. Perfect, but…

    Hi,
    This is going to be a long post..... Here goes the story...
    I met this guy at work, and got talking.. General stuff & we started hanging out a lil in office, then out of office....
    That time he was kind of troubled, his gf had dumped him & he was trying to get her back... But she wouldn't listen at all... Dunno but for some reason I got attracted to him & he to me...

    Now start the issues :
    1. He keeps talking about marriage, though we haven't been seeing each other for long... His concern might me valid as we both are of marriageable age & my parents are also looking out... But at times it makes me feel like he is just trying to fill the void ( he had marriage plans with his ex)
    2. Even if we do settle, the ex is a distant relative.. Which translates to us having to meet her at his family functions etc.. I don't know if I can handle it, or even how I'd react.
    3. Families, both of us have very different families...
    4. He starts over-reacting if things don't go the way he plans... Given his intentions might be good, but take others ideas into consideration too !!! Should I take this over-reaction as a sign??? Ego of his??? At times he gets over protective, that's now how I've been brought up... I've been brought up to fend for myself most of the time.
    5. He loves to give everyone a piece of his mind, which I find irritating.
    6. At times I wonder, is it attraction/ love whatever or just proximity/convenience..

    And the weird thing is, despite all this it feels perfect...
    I'd been in a relationship earlier, long one... He was very flexible for me and yet I had my doubts...
    Do I have commitment issues, trying to look for the wrong in everything or is it the other way, I find the wrong guys & happily adjust with them???

    If I'd been younger, I'd take a couple of years to get to know this guy... Sadly don't have the time... Either him or an arranged marriage within few months to 1 yr...

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    OKKKKEY!

    All concerns are worthy of consideration as are your feelings for him, which are going to swing it for you, anyhow.

    As far as his being on the rebound is concerned, yes, that's a distinct possibility. usually after a serious breakup, people do go looking desperately for other partners. For some lucky ones, the partner they land up with is good for them and they settle down well with them.

    Secondly, her being his relative...don't let that bother you -seriously. You can handle it. Its just someone your partner was involved with...no big deal.

    As far as his irritating habits go...well, that's something that you need to deal with. Think of some strategy there.

    The time factor...well, listen, if you think you want to wait, do so. You are an independent girl and there's no way you should rush into things. Wait for 6 months at least and see how you feel at the end of it. The arranged marriage is there to stay anyway, so let it keep for the time being and check out this man.

  3. #3
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    You don't have the time factor by your side, have you? So why take chances with this guy when you have not known him well? He can be your friend as the tuning between you two is fine, but marriage is different from friendship. Moreover, you don't know if he still has broken up with his gf or not. His life may be pretty entangled, don't drag yourself into it.

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