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Thread: Came across my wife’s chats

  1. #31
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    Hi Ajay,
    First it was a wrong thing to invade her privacy but i am not much upset because you know that too.
    Second it seems like you have given her space and she has taken it for distance in your relation. otherwise she wouldn't be attracted towards other man, she wud want to make her marriage work.

    Confronting her wud be seemingly the right thing to do but i don't agree coz it involves trust issue. You are not all white either, u intruded her chats.

    I guess what you should do is observe her in your own married life. How she responds towards you, your marriage and responsibilities. Only you can know if there's any way to save your marriage, otherwise Ajay its time to let go.

    The choice is yours, but i feel if she was in love with you once, there's no reason she wont be in love again. What you need is patience and tactics.
    Best of luck, Ajay.
    Give it your all. You wont have anything to regret later.

  2. #32
    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Shut up, y'all!! (not everyone though)

    I don't know what's up with some people telling Ajay that he has been WRONG in reading his wife's chats..!!!! No he has not been wrong at all. If we have to keep secrets from our spouses or do stuff clandestinely, then heck what's the use of entering marital relations? Married couples become one in body, mind and soul. It all becomes about openness and transparency. Why should we be keeping stuff, especially those as serious as this, from our spouses?

    And those of you who are accusing him of being suspicious.... has it ever occurred to you that it may be nothing but CURIOSITY and timepass that made him look through her chats.... and chance upon the shocking truth..! He cares about her. Like a good spouse, he takes interest in his wife's matters. And THAT'S probably why he was checking them out..!!! And as far as privacy is concerned.... it could be that they know and share passwords, hence he had perfectly legitimate access to those chats. You never know. Come to think of it... it's only because he came across those chats that he now has an idea that his wife may be unhappy, and thus came here searching for solutions to the problem. And yet, what are some of you telling him??
    Geez people..!!! Did you wish that he never came across the truth? Did you want his wife to get away with cheating? Or do you wish that this ugly matter, which could be a major reflection of internal failures in their marriage or wife's unfulfilled wishes, remains unresolved??
    Do think before you advice..!
    Last edited by wonderkid; 21-03-2011 at 06:55 AM.

  3. #33
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HoTnEsS_ReLoAdEd View Post
    Are you out of your mind?!?!

    She has just lost her feelings for this guy...he needs to rekindle his marriage...instead you ask him to burn her alive!!

    You are freaking insane dude
    Am I...? Am I...?

    Just for you my friend, I change my opinion.
    I'd say, First Kill her and then Burn her.. !!
    Happy now...? :-p

    BTW, Are you a retard of some kind..? If this ridiculous piece of Junk Lady has lost feelings for this guy then why does the guy need to make any efforts..? I guess the Ridiculous piece of Junk Lady should be the one making efforts to make her marriage work.

    Or, Just Burn her Ali... oh no, Burn her Dead.

    G'day
    My Personality depends on who I am.My Attitude depends on who you are.
    a_decent_1™ ©®

  4. #34
    New Born parush's Avatar
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    THank ur lucky stars that u found it early. Otherwise u would be making urself a fool by not knowing her infidelity. Most husbands wont know it sooner, and they will just fall victims to wives treachery. Anyway, nowthat u found out she isnot loving u anymore, its time to divorce

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi mam, my name is ajay. i am 30yrs old & married for 2 yrs. me & my wife know each other for 12 years. after 10 years of affair we got married with consent of elders. i work aboroad and my wife was studying/working in india before marriage after marriage she is with me here. we love each other ( i do). i never had any affair with other girls since i known my wife for almost 12 years now. as we both known each other for so long we never had chance to doubt each other. we were having great time she was like ideal wife/bahu eeryone used to like her she was very bubbly & helping nature. but unfortunately i cam across her chats and found that she has een chatting with one guy sice 5-6 days. why i am saying this is because if its casual chat i wouldnt mind. she had somany friends(college mates) and i never had any problem with that as it was clean friendship. but this chat its bit toomuch as they have been chatting of howmuch they love each other, but now she cannot do anything as she is married, if they had been bit bold they wouldnt had to suffer like this and all( there was no pressure from anyone to her we married willingly as we were in love). she also had planned to meet each other when they are in india next time, as my wife had planned to go one month earlier than me. please help me wat do i do? should i act tough and confront her. i am really down since 3-4 days. i feel even she is bit upset!! wat do i do? i love her very much i only dreamed of being with her for ever...please advice
    Hi Ajay, it is really unfortunate man but legally yours lady is no more yours emotionally. I don't know what might have made her cheat you after soooo many years (if she was not sure about you then why the hell she married you). But right now you just caught her chatting but soon she'll be leaving for india and they'd be hanging out, romping in various positions and you won't be able to know even. It is heart-breaking man and can cause nervous breakdown (your wife didn't even care for this- what might happen to you if she cheats). She is out of love man. I cannot suggest you to forgive her and love her 'coz it would be pathetic- you still have long life ahead.

    Those who are saying that you should forgive her won't share your pain. Keep the chat records as proof before she deletes them.

    And also those who are saying that you did the wrong thing by checking her chats- I'd wish their beloved wife/gf does same and never gets caught (but I know these guys will do everything to find it out if ever they get slightest of hint).
    It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. . .

  6. #36
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    feelings change ...and she can regret,realise and start working on her marriage.

    Be nice, caring to her for a while by your silent actions while maintaining your dignity....ask her if you need to do anything..then tell her that u need to ask something ....look deep into her eyes and ask if she loves you ....and further tell that you need an honest response. later ask if she wants to confess anything.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by aapkadost View Post
    feelings change ...and she can regret,realise and start working on her marriage.

    Be nice, caring to her for a while by your silent actions while maintaining your dignity....ask her if you need to do anything..then tell her that u need to ask something ....look deep into her eyes and ask if she loves you ....and further tell that you need an honest response. later ask if she wants to confess anything.
    Absolutely, I would second that..

  8. #38
    SB MahaGuru Colonel dsocialdoctor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi mam, my name is ajay. i am 30yrs old & married for 2 yrs. me & my wife know each other for 12 years. after 10 years of affair we got married with consent of elders. i work aboroad and my wife was studying/working in india before marriage after marriage she is with me here. we love each other ( i do). i never had any affair with other girls since i known my wife for almost 12 years now. as we both known each other for so long we never had chance to doubt each other. we were having great time she was like ideal wife/bahu eeryone used to like her she was very bubbly & helping nature. but unfortunately i cam across her chats and found that she has een chatting with one guy sice 5-6 days. why i am saying this is because if its casual chat i wouldnt mind. she had somany friends(college mates) and i never had any problem with that as it was clean friendship. but this chat its bit toomuch as they have been chatting of howmuch they love each other, but now she cannot do anything as she is married, if they had been bit bold they wouldnt had to suffer like this and all( there was no pressure from anyone to her we married willingly as we were in love). she also had planned to meet each other when they are in india next time, as my wife had planned to go one month earlier than me. please help me wat do i do? should i act tough and confront her. i am really down since 3-4 days. i feel even she is bit upset!! wat do i do? i love her very much i only dreamed of being with her for ever...please advice

  9. #39
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    you fault.... you should not read chat / email of others - even if it is you wife... YES NOT EVEN YOUR WIFE...

    It will be painful for you yourself..

    Disturb other people's privacy - and who is hurt...

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by sb_fan2 View Post
    you fault.... you should not read chat / email of others - even if it is you wife... YES NOT EVEN YOUR WIFE...

    It will be painful for you yourself..

    Disturb other people's privacy - and who is hurt...
    For.. now.. just give it time...

    Forget the incident.. dont impose yourself or your love.. if she wants to stay.. she will.. if she doesn't ... your life will not end...

  11. #41
    New Born saurabh.choudhary's Avatar
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    Bro ... i know its very disturbing and painful. All you need to do is talk 2 her. Talk to her softly and know her feelings. Mayb she is temporarily diverted and by your talking softly and getting to know about her feelings, you both can sort it out .

  12. #42
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    Bubbly cute gals are inherently unloyal :P

    just personal xperience...

    Confront her now...no 2 ways about it....
    ExtraMarital affairs are more common in place than you think..

    stupid girl didn't even delete chat history..
    Best of luck for your life !!!



  13. #43
    Young Gun jahanara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hi mam, my name is ajay. i am 30yrs old & married for 2 yrs. me & my wife know each other for 12 years. after 10 years of affair we got married with consent of elders. i work aboroad and my wife was studying/working in india before marriage after marriage she is with me here. we love each other ( i do). i never had any affair with other girls since i known my wife for almost 12 years now. as we both known each other for so long we never had chance to doubt each other. we were having great time she was like ideal wife/bahu eeryone used to like her she was very bubbly & helping nature. but unfortunately i cam across her chats and found that she has een chatting with one guy sice 5-6 days. why i am saying this is because if its casual chat i wouldnt mind. she had somany friends(college mates) and i never had any problem with that as it was clean friendship. but this chat its bit toomuch as they have been chatting of howmuch they love each other, but now she cannot do anything as she is married, if they had been bit bold they wouldnt had to suffer like this and all( there was no pressure from anyone to her we married willingly as we were in love). she also had planned to meet each other when they are in india next time, as my wife had planned to go one month earlier than me. please help me wat do i do? should i act tough and confront her. i am really down since 3-4 days. i feel even she is bit upset!! wat do i do? i love her very much i only dreamed of being with her for ever...please advice

    About which type of chat you are talking about and Can Twelve years of Love lost against 5-6 days Chat How is it possible? You are not clear.Any foolish step can devastate your life

  14. #44
    Young Gun jahanara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aapkadost View Post
    feelings change ...and she can regret,realise and start working on her marriage.

    Be nice, caring to her for a while by your silent actions while maintaining your dignity....ask her if you need to do anything..then tell her that u need to ask something ....look deep into her eyes and ask if she loves you ....and further tell that you need an honest response. later ask if she wants to confess anything.

    If somebody loves someone I don't think there is any need of asking whether He/she loves or not it appears in eyes, in every move

  15. #45
    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jahanara View Post
    About which type of chat you are talking about and Can Twelve years of Love lost against 5-6 days Chat How is it possible? You are not clear.Any foolish step can devastate your life
    The love did not suddenly disappear in 5-6 days. It's quite clear that she has been in love with that other man for a very long time now, but unable to admit to it or stand up for it. She's unable to go one way or the other, because she lacks courage.

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