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Thread: LIFE-O-LOGY....Instant Karmaa Stories - Articles - Thoughts - Random!!

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    ^^ Oxymoron ^^ Captain Anioba's Avatar
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    Arrow LIFE-O-LOGY....Instant Karmaa Stories - Articles - Thoughts - Random!!


    THE INSTANT KARMA THREAD!!

    In this thread i share articles and stories and try to give a new point of view to the mundane things in life!!

    Each article has a unique hidden moral to it....
    Through these we learn human behaviour and mis-behaviour....
    All the stories/incidents are reality based and leave an open ended question....so that every reader takes his own conclusion from it!!

    How we are evolving @ a very rapid rate and out thoughts and opinions are getting moulded by new finding and ideas!!

    LIFE PRESENTS AT UR SERVICE ON A PLATTER
    WHAT U TAKE HOME IS YOUR CHOICE
    THIS CHOICE(karma) DECIDES UR DESTINY!!

    Please share ur thoughts, views, articles that leave u dazed ....anything that teaches u new perspectives in life!!
    Ranging from Art-culture-heritage- social-life-society n human nature- anything under-the-sun.......
    One thing that u learnt today!!



    LEARN AND LET LEARN!!
    LIFE'S A GAME..........WE KNOW IT WHEN WE'RE THROUGH!!




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    ^^ Oxymoron ^^ Captain Anioba's Avatar
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    Default Stitch in Time Saves Nine!!


    HUMAN BEHAVIOR & DEFENCE TACTICS USED BY US!!

    How to interpret what an unexpressive person is trying to convey......read the signs......right here!!

    Focus : SUICIDAL TENDENCIES- HOW TO PREVENT

    And Reading Between the Lines of ur Kid's life!!

    With the rampaging rise in depression related deaths and suicide attemps, something needs to be done to intervene!!

    How do we know what's to look for....??

    How do we know what to do to get him/her out of kill-mode??

    Here are some real-life-stories by an emminent psychiatrist and my friend!!

    READ ON!!!
    Last edited by Anioba; 17-03-2011 at 12:07 PM.

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    THRASHED @ HOME 4 STEALING....SON FIGHTS BACK WITH SUICIDE ATTEMPT!!


    This is the story of a 12-year-old boy who was brought to my clinic by his mother. “He has destroyed our peace,” screamed the mother, while the boy sat with his head down.

    The mother lifted her son’s left hand and showed me cuts made by a knife. “He did this because his father thrashed him for stealing Rs 500,” she cried. I asked her to wait outside and put my arm around the child.

    With tears in his eyes, the boy sat quietly for the next 30 minutes. My attempts at making a conversation failed.

    I thanked the child for coming and let the mother talk. “My husband blames me for all the bad things at home.

    This boy picked up the money. After two days we found Rs 148 in one of his text books. He lied to us and till he was thrashed he didn’t open his mouth.

    My husband says I have spoilt him,” she wept. I requested her to remain calm and called the dad. He was curt, “Tell him to be honest. I slog all day for him and if he repeats it again I’ll throw him out.”

    The parents refused to be hospitable to the boy who was suicidal and angry. I was scared to send him home though I felt his suicidal intent was not very serious. I clasped his hands, looked into his eyes and said gently, “Come again tomorrow.” I told his mother in his presence, “There is nothing like a lie in my dictionary. Lie is truth postponed, suspended, delayed. He was just scared.”

    I arranged for a meeting with the boy at a coffee shop. An informal setting always helps. He walked in with a bright shirt and a smile, accompanied by his tense dad. I asked his dad to leave us alone for an hour.

    After we ordered a cooler, the child relaxed. I simply blurted, “The money…in your book.” He surprised me by saying, “I’ll tell you all, but don’t tell my dad.”

    And this is what he said: “I took Rs 500 from dad’s wallet as I wanted to treat my friends. They treat me all the time and I could never do the same.

    We had burgers and soft drinks. I was happy. I never felt that I had stolen. I thought it’s my dad’s money and I’ll tell him sometime. But I was caught. Dad hammered me. I was very angry and wanted to teach him a lesson. I wanted to die but was scared. I wanted to share with my friend but was ashamed. My dad is always angry. He does not rest, has no time to sleep.” And he went on.

    I saw no signs of any serious mental illness either. On his way out he promised me he will not harm himself.

    A week later both parents met me and seemed very receptive. The father shared details of his upbringing and his work place. The mother wanted to know why her son stole.

    I asked them what their learning was from the whole experience. They looked at each other and smiled.

    As they left I reassured the parents that the child will do well and helped them to get some more sleep. I found out that the dad had consulted an astrologer who had said that his son will trouble them till the age of 15. “Do you believe in astrology?” The father asked me. I smiled and said, “I believe in you more than the astrologer.”


    Last edited by Anioba; 17-03-2011 at 12:07 PM.

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    Now if u are reading this, Please tell us how u liked the above incident.....
    What do u take home from this incident??

  5. #5
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    THE POET....
    THE LOVER.....
    A TERRIBLY SHY CHILD!!


    A mother from a feudal, conservative family chanced upon her teenaged son's diary in which he had written pages on his love for three girls, aged between 12 to 14 years. The boy had written both prose and poetry.

    Given the family background, the concerned mother had brought along photocopies of the pages and swore me to secrecy.

    I read four pages of the 60-page diary and was stunned. "Your boy has fantastic linguistic skills, he should bee encouraged". She looked at me incredulously and said, "That is not what I came here for."

    And she walked out of the clinic.

    I called her after two days, saying I meant every word of what I said and did not want to hurt her. The mother was quite a poet herself, and said, "We are on different platforms, our trains go in different directions." I said, "But I want to be in your train." She laughed.

    She came back, and asked me, "How did my son fall in love with three girls?" Padhai aur pehelwani ka umar hota hai, she said.


    Illustration: Vikram
    I asked her if she remembered having feelings for anyone when she was her son's age. "Yes but admitting to such feelings this way is against Indian culture," she said. I asked her if bottling up emotions was Indian culture or expressing it.

    We talked for a while and she revealed how her son shared everything with her till he was 12. One day, he ran into the kitchen and told her that he liked a cute girl in his class and had brought her text books home to do her homework. The mother had screamed at him, and since that outburst, the boy had turned shy and introvert.

    I urged the mother to appreciate the language used in the child's diary objectively. "Actually it is excellent," she said. Taking my advice she went back and told her son what she thought of his writing skills as was evident in his diary. He was shocked and took a while to open up to her. "Mom, thanks for appreciating," he said, and wanted to show her more.

    However, the father came to know of this episode from the other sibling and there was a storm in the household. I met the parents at my clinic. "It is my family and I get to decide what anyone does," said the aggressive father.

    I told him, all I wanted to do is appreciate his son's skills, which were extremely rare in a child of his age. The father was stunned. The ice was broken. And after a while he was crying over memories of his childhood hardships.

    This is a perfect example of how timely parental intervention can help a child. In this case, I had not even met the child.

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    ^^ Oxymoron ^^ Captain Anioba's Avatar
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    CAUGHT BUNKING SCHOOL!!
    PUPPY LOVE @ SCHOOL!!


    The PVR manager recognised the school uniforms and called up the school principal. A boy and a girl from the 7th and the 9th standard were arrested by the school for being caught in a compromising position, that too during school hours.

    The management was alerted. There was an emergency meeting. How could the students tarnish the school’s reputation? Thankfully, the sensitive principal called us for an emergency visit. The first thing I did was to freeze the cameras and wait. My psychologist and I sat in front of the kids.

    They were staring at the floor. “Relax,” my psychologist said and the Vice Principal got angry. “Don’t encourage them, teach them a lesson,” she screamed. I asked her to leave the room and let the kids speak.

    They spoke very little. “Don’t tell our parents,” they begged and we assured them that we will not at this point of time. We checked for their academic record and it was alright. We looked for absenteeism and there was nothing significant. “Don’t tell our parents,” they pleaded.

    We asked them exploratory questions. “What would they do if their siblings were discovered by them in a similar state?” The entire conversation revolved around accepting them as they are and helping them analyse their own behaviour.

    It is important to understand that punishment is a word we do not use in schools because it refers only to IPC crimes. Reward is a phenomenon where regret and correction is addressed and kids do come up with very creative rewards themselves.

    Here the kids were surprised as they expected suspension. We promised them confidentiality and asked them to suggest a reward.

    We suggested that they teach a chapter of history and geography in the 5th standard, which they agreed. I asked the school principal to appoint mentor teachers who would be in touch with the kids without being a cop.

    As the kids went home after school hours the parents were not informed anything on that day. After a week we asked them whether it is a good idea to take the parents into confidence. They refused.

    A week later, we asked them again, the no was not as emphatic. We planned a session with the parents in our presence. The session was interesting as we explored the feelings of the parents. “How dare you do this?” The boy’s mother screamed. But slowly as the feelings bounced, they calmed down somewhat.

    We got an assurance from the parents that no interrogation would take place at home and no punitive measures. One mother came back to know the ‘caste’ of the boy and we laughed. What the parents genuinely appreciated was the wisdom of the school principal and the counseling team.

    However, both the school and we received a scathing letter from a trustee, for promoting ‘bad behaviour’. We allowed that to pass.

    We also had a session with the leaders of the school who differed with us. We allowed the emotions to spill and shared two insights:

    How would we handle it if it were our own kids?

    When in trouble hug the child a little longer and a little stronger.

    Two vice principals did not agree with us but the bonhomie was encouraging. This prompted us to have sessions on ‘Love Life and Learning’ for all kids.


  7. #7
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    This is a very interesting and evocative thread...certainly thought provoking! I do hope it gets many view and view- points! Kudos for this!

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    Thanks ma'am for the support!!
    Glad u liked it!! Just doing my bit!!
    Lots to come!!

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    PARENTS CAN"T FATHOM
    HOW TO REACH OUT TO THEIR
    KID - TURNED - LADY!!



    The mark sheets were in front of me. The marks ranged from 7 to 47, and 18 to 48. The couple appeared shocked and lost. They blurted, “She has never done so badly before.

    This year she has become very stubborn. She talks back and does not study. She spends time in front of the mirror. She bunks tuitions. She keeps bad company. She threatens to harm herself. My sister is a doctor but we can’t share as it will turn into a scandal.”

    In teeming metropolises like Mumbai, the six common family situations are: mistrust, irritability, insomnia, isolation, impulsiveness and impotence.

    The couple did not want me to meet the girl. “She may get worse if she sees a psychiatrist,” they said. “You tell us what to do.”

    I wondered how could they be educated and illiterate? I was angry but instead of snapping I took a deep breath and asked them what they had tried till now.

    They said they had offered to buy her new mobile if she mends her ways, offered to increase her pocket money, asked the maid who was working with them for two decades to talk to her and everything had failed. I asked them to leave her alone and not reprimand her at all for the next few days.

    “Keep quiet?” They thundered, “No way, we will meet the principal.” I was infuriated and muttered, “Can you please try to be quiet just for three days?” They looked at each other and said, “We will try.”


    I directed our conversation to the ‘feeling’ zone. I asked them, “Where was she born?” To the mother I asked, “Do you remember the first feel of this girl as the nurse put her on your belly?” And she broke down.

    “She was a wonderful girl. She was so honest. I can’t recognise her.” I gently corrected her. “She is wonderful. She is honest. Let us feel and listen to her voice.”

    Sensing a rapport, I asked the parents if I could speak their daughter, to which they agreed. I called her, “My name is Harish Shetty and I am a counsellor. Your parents are here and are as upset as you are.” She agreed to meet on the condition that I should talk to her alone.

    “My parents are suspicious. I can’t talk to girls or boys. I am in the 8th standard and they say I am too gullible. I want to go for birthday parties, for sleepovers. But my mother checks my phones. I have lost interest in studies completely. I failed and was scared so I did it. I felt like getting away from this world. You counsel them.”

    Again no signs of clinical depression were seen. But here was a family that did not know how to handle an adolescent.

    The next three sessions were with the parents. Both came from families where right and wrong had only two linear meanings. “She could have told us honestly and we would have accepted it,” they said. But the software of helping kids ‘share bad news early’ did not exist.

    This software is only built when the ambience of the family is a 'feeling ambience' and not a religious ambience where god is stressed on all the time or an 'intellectual ambience' where academic achievements are always discussed.

    This was a family where the 'judge, witness and accused' drama was on. When the father came home, the mother (witness) would share all the charges of the daughter (accused) with the father, the judge. The father would interrogate rather than share and elicit.

    Helping the parents convert their sarcasm into positive feeling took a while. The school was not involved.


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    SB MahaGuru Lieutenant-Colonel imperium's Avatar
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    Nice and excellent thread......

    Hats Off..
    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________


    With friends...

    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________

    When caught by relative


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________
    Scolding
    At home


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________

    In our rooms


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________




    THE YOUTH OF COUNTRY

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    SB Legend Brigadier General marsflower's Avatar
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    excellent thread...

    hats off to u..

    reps applied..
    Shaam gulabi, sehar gulabi
    Pehar gulabi hai gulabi ye shehar


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    Thumbs up

    Good job but u didn't mention where those incidences took place and when.
    Anyway, TFS!!

  13. #13
    ^^ Oxymoron ^^ Captain Anioba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imperium View Post
    Nice and excellent thread......

    Hats Off..
    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________


    With friends...

    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________

    When caught by relative


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________
    Scolding
    At home


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________

    In our rooms


    _______________________________________________
    _______________________________________________




    THE YOUTH OF COUNTRY
    Quote Originally Posted by marsflower View Post
    excellent thread...

    hats off to u..

    reps applied..
    Quote Originally Posted by fuad2100 View Post
    Good job but u didn't mention where those incidences took place and when.
    Anyway, TFS!!
    thanks, for visiting, everyone!!

  14. #14
    Red Baron Colonel mavvrick_111's Avatar
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    jakkas thread ani
    agar kuchh dhang ka mil gaya to hum bhi kuch updatewa kar lege
    one of the greatest freedom is truly not caring what anyone else thinks of you.

  15. #15
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    Default Preserving our culture!!


    CULTURE AND INDIAN SOCIETY!!

    PAST N PRESENT!!


    The next segment is an account on how Indian culture and the mixed-bag of traditions and modernity has churned today's youth and ideologies.

    SCENE : Its Valentine's day, and (NY - based director)Meera Nair's
    short film "Video" has just released and screening is stalled because violent opposition from staunch saffron-clad right wing supporters!!

    In this scenario my friend travels to Khajuraho and discovers ancient sculptures and paintings which are a stark contrast to today's iron-clad orthodox culture-policing sweeping our society!!

    READ ON.....!!


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