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Thread: Want to marry a guy

  1. #1
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    Red face Want to marry a guy

    HI,
    im a regular reader of your forum,but writing first time...i need some advice from you....actually im 25 loves a guy from university time,now v both settle in our careers....he send his family at my home for marriage proposal...then my mom asks my father abt this proposal he reject it jst because of cast difference...my all family members tried to convince him (khala, chacha etc), but he never understand...now its been three years v both r waiting that my father understand my feeling, now i feel he dont want me to get married,coz ek proposal aya ta jo same caste ka ta but usko b refuse krdia aur us sy meri cousin ki shadi kradi....many people advice us to get court marriage, but in our culture n society it is tabooo, wana knw kya karen hum dono, meri mom mere father se b bht darti ha cz he never become a gud huby n father jst because of his bad attitude, financially saw bad times in our life my paternal n maternal supports us...but now shadi k mamle ma sub peeche hat gaye ha no one is helping us, guy k parents bht ache ha bt wo ab hm se papa ki waja se naraz ha, meri mom bht harrased ha btaye kse mumkin ha k hum shadi karen, i want to marry that guy becoz he loves n gives me importance, which i never got in my own home
    :special15 Please please help me maaam

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, this is a difficult situation. You want to get married with the blessings of your parents but your father is in no mood to give any blessings- far from it, he is actually opposing the wedding.

    Well, you know, you will have to consult with your friend and see what you are both willing to do about the situation. Are you willing to oppose your father and marry the boy? Will he support you through the strive with your family? If not, then the situation seems a bit bleak, with your father being quiet unbending about the whole situation. unless of course you can get someone to intervene for you both- some friend or relative to whom your father will give a hearing.

  3. #3
    :: The Zenith :: Lieutenant-Colonel
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    Well I can fully understand ur problem. There do exist on earth people like ur father

    Now first of all u have to see is there any person on this earth (whether it be ur relative or ur dad's colleague or his friend) who could convince ur dad. If there does exist anyone, do approach him with ur problem.

    If nobody of that sort exists then u have to be bolder. Talk to ur BF and his parents whether they agree to the idea of eloping and court-marriage. If ur BF is strong (both mentally & physically) and once u take him into confidence, there is hardly anything ur dad can do if u run away from home.

    Good Luck!


  4. #4
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    Its a tough situation. Its time you thought about some key factors. If your dad stays rigid, are you willing to take the extreme step such as running away? Will you be able to accept the cultural differences between you two? Will his family accept you wholeheartedly? Before contemplating any step, think over these and decide for yourselves.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
    - Abraham Lincoln


  5. #5
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    Well ask your father a straight question. Do you love me father? If he does then it is with in your rights that to tell him that you want to marry him. If he is from the same religion as you are then the cast can give a shit about it...

  6. #6
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    Jia

    To hell with your father...

    Go for your life or choose to be a loser always...

    Marry in a Temple, Masjid, or Gurudwara, or in Araya Samaj Society, as noone has a law to bring ur parents too for marriage. Arya Samaj Society gives certificate of marriage too right then.

    Court marriage is quite harrassing in India for formalities involved in it. So choose normal marriage as you both are adults and can marry as per your wish.

    Simply have proofs of your marriage with you, I mean, videos and photographs for further normal registration process in courts that everyone has to carry even the ones who marry with parents consent.

    No one can callenge marriage in Temple, Masjid, Gurudwara etc as per your religion, whether parents are there or not. Better study short versions of Hindu Marriage Law etc on net, wherein a marriage is totally legal after seven rounds around fire... So simple... No one can challenge that in court too, when you have proofs of it with you...


    Divine Love
    Last edited by Divine Love; 28-04-2011 at 12:39 AM.

  7. #7
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    Learn from the most revered Bollywood atleast...

    Read how SRK married Gauri, against their families wish, despite they being from different religions..

    Read from net about this real Love Story and get inspired...


    Divine Love

  8. #8
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    Ii think your dad is eyening on your income - just get married - he can not do anything - you both are matured humans and love each other besides your inlwas are good and like you you will make good bride in their home. The biggest problem is how your father will blame your mothe after your this step. Take mother in confidece and make her strong - and act - wish you and your lover good married life

  9. #9
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    hi,
    your rite i also think my dad eyening on my income :-( but problem is that mom afraid of my dad, sometimes i feel i became lonely by their wrong decisions,by their ego im very much disappointed

  10. #10
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    No need to tell anybody before going for marriage, not even ur mother, and unnecessarily create a weak link, as such weak links always break up right at the wrong time to spoil everything...


    Divine Love

  11. #11
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    d one n only person who knws it all is u.....
    understand wht im saying...if u have d feeling tht he is having a gud eye on ur earning thn thts soo unethical...he is nt thinking bout u thn why u thinking so much about him......(ur dad)

    see..he will be d same till his end..(m sorry to say)but why u wasting ur lyf because his stupid rules...

    listen jia..d boys parents brought d proposal fr u thmself..tht means they r interested in making u their bahuu.....just talk to thm n d boy..make out ur future..dnt be afraid....take d step..karna tum nikah pahle otherwise it will create a communal problem so why to unecessary invite more trouble for urself.....

    wese bhi jia dekho na...badlega toh kuchh bhi nahi wid dis attitude of ur father fr d family...toh why to waste d gud opportunity of ur life..n believe me..its never wrong to come out of bad situation n think for oneself...all d very best.....

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