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Thread: My wife’s affair

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    Unhappy My wife’s affair

    Dear madam

    pls help me out iam in big mess m married man me & my wife were very happy with this relation.It was arranged marriage and now the problem is tht my wife was having an affair with someone else before marriage but due to some problems they didnt got married now i have came to know about all these things.i used to ask my wife if there is anything like tht pls do let me know but she always denied now i have came to know tht she was physically intimated with that guy many times even she had to undergo for the abortion due to this,the boy got married before our marriage even after boys marriage he used my wife and she simply allowed him for that now m asking for the divorce she is saying tht she loves me very much and cant live with out me and when i asked her about all this she told tht the guy loved her and she did'nt, she has done all these things just because of attraction as she was attracted towards him she never loved that guy.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hmm, Ok, this is complicated. the easy thing for me to say and you to understand would be- break off! But i not going to say that and you don't really want to hear that either, because you do care for each other.

    Well, I can understand her not telling you about her pre-marital affair, but I would think its more difficult to forgive what happened later. That must be difficult, indeed.

    So, you can give this a deep thought, Do you want to put this behind you and try and forgive her and continue the relationship? People do that- its not at all unusual.

    Sometimes, people having extra marital affairs just dont realise the seriousness of it all unless they come face to face with the reality. Now, you have to decide if you want to give this another chance, provided of course, she does not put you through anything like this again.

    Whatever decision yo take, take time over it- do not be hasty! think and only then see what works best.

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    SB MahaGuru Lieutenant-Colonel imperium's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Hmm, Ok, this is complicated. the easy thing for me to say and you to understand would be- break off! But i not going to say that and you don't really want to hear that either, because you do care for each other.

    Well, I can understand her not telling you about her pre-marital affair, but I would think its more difficult to forgive what happened later. That must be difficult, indeed.

    So, you can give this a deep thought, Do you want to put this behind you and try and forgive her and continue the relationship? People do that- its not at all unusual.

    Sometimes, people having extra marital affairs just dont realise the seriousness of it all unless they come face to face with the reality. Now, you have to decide if you want to give this another chance, provided of course, she does not put you through anything like this again.

    Whatever decision yo take, take time over it- do not be hasty! think and only then see what works best.




    Okk...

    I pre-assume that you are married for an year or two at max. for three, I know that she had hurt you a way too bad and beyond by her pre martial affair and the stuff she told you about.... now there are two ways out of this situation...


    First way <easy way out> you divorce your wife, tell her parents and make them feel guilty for rest of their lives for having a daughter. This way you'll get your revenge upon her and also make rest of her life a living hell.....

    Second way <a caring step> you have an arranged marriage (i know this may sound a way too filmy to you and most of the readers but still......) . arranged marriages are the best way to marry because this has a tie up not just between a girl and a boy but for two families joining together their relations, their prides, their emotions for rest of your life and continuing further after that... in any and every.religion arranged marriages were only..... avaliable from the beginning (sorry got a bit carried over ) now you could show her your love for her and visit a marrige counsellor for help if not possible try to spice up your relation instead of breaking it . Dude just don't decide too fast . Breaking relations is way too easy then mending them and the post effects are far more worse than your imagination..(personal experience)
    Last edited by galaxy_resident; 19-05-2011 at 06:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Hmm, Ok, this is complicated. the easy thing for me to say and you to understand would be- break off! But i not going to say that and you don't really want to hear that either, because you do care for each other.

    Well, I can understand her not telling you about her pre-marital affair, but I would think its more difficult to forgive what happened later. That must be difficult, indeed.

    So, you can give this a deep thought, Do you want to put this behind you and try and forgive her and continue the relationship? People do that- its not at all unusual.

    Sometimes, people having extra marital affairs just dont realise the seriousness of it all unless they come face to face with the reality. Now, you have to decide if you want to give this another chance, provided of course, she does not put you through anything like this again.

    Whatever decision yo take, take time over it- do not be hasty! think and only then see what works best.
    ..


    ur wife seems to have lack of commitment & loyalty.. it is reallllly good for her to have a forgiving & loving husbnad like u..


    make sure that she is never again just ATTRACTED to some guy & has sex or whatever!
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    I'd recommend that you divorce your wife and cut her OUT of your life. She has cheated you bigtime by keeping such a big secret from you. She had physical relations with another guy AND even got pregnant and had abortion... all before marriage! And not only that, she did all that with him merely out of ATTRACTION..! The guy loved her, but she didn't love him. She just used him! Even after he got married, she casually lent him her body! She is a pathetic woman who can stoop to any level.
    She is NOT wife material, trust me. She can do anything... even be unfaithful to you at the slightest motivation. She may claim that she loves you and all, so that she doesn't have to lose such an amazing husband like you, but there's no guarantee for anything.

    You deserve so much better..! Do yourself a favour, and get a GOOD wife. Do your parents a favour, and get them a GOOD daughter in law.

    Others here may be giving you vague answers... that you should think about it and do what you feel is best blah blah.... because they want to be diplomatic and don't want to be responsible for any results or consequences. But that doesn't help. Nor would putting money into marriage counselling and all do much. Time and money are precious.

    Your entire life would be ruined if you have the wrong life partner, and it would also negatively impact your children's upbringing. You should build your home and family with a morally strong partner. That is the least you can do...! You're lucky that you don't have kids yet. Take steps now before it's too late, otherwise you'd only regret later. Good luck!
    Last edited by wonderkid; 20-05-2011 at 09:20 AM.

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    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    Angry Where is Fuad's post????

    OMG Where is Fuad's post?? He had replied with outstanding advice that the asker would certainly benefit from..!!! Where is that post?? WHAT HAPPENED TO FUAD'S POST?? WHO DELETED IT??!!!!!

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    Loser!
    What s dumb hoe, sorry to say this to your wife but seriously. To hell with her, even if u reach on a conclusion of divorce give yourself time thinking about yourself.
    As much its going to affect her, its going to affect you too.

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    New Born ddgupta.com's Avatar
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    Default live in present.

    Believe in present & try to forget the past.
    If she has no more contact with that guy at present...why u r so posisive ?
    U urself know it very well wheather she really loves u or not - that's what important .
    It is unfortunate that you could not know the truth before marriage....This is what the drawback of arrange marriage to a total unknown person.
    Since u r married now and both u r committed ...it is better that you two live in present.

  9. #9
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    Wow she had sex multiple times and had even abortion and hid all these things from you???
    Well if i were in ur place i would sure divorce her!!!

  10. #10
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    Important thing to know here is if she is keeping the past relationships or any new affairs after marriage. Consult with a private detective agency and try to find it out with their help. Then u can decide whther adivorce is required or not.

  11. #11
    ✿♥ mesmerized♥✿ Lieutenant-Colonel imeggz_leoness's Avatar
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    oh! she should have told u everything before... that would be easier for u guuys!
    anyways well, even if you accept her now, her past will haunt you whole life , better go separatel ways..... i m sorry ....

    and for guys who are abusing that female, common we should respect all women

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear madam

    pls help me out iam in big mess m married man me & my wife were very happy with this relation.It was arranged marriage and now the problem is tht my wife was having an affair with someone else before marriage but due to some problems they didnt got married now i have came to know about all these things.i used to ask my wife if there is anything like tht pls do let me know but she always denied now i have came to know tht she was physically intimated with that guy many times even she had to undergo for the abortion due to this,the boy got married before our marriage even after boys marriage he used my wife and she simply allowed him for that now m asking for the divorce she is saying tht she loves me very much and cant live with out me and when i asked her about all this she told tht the guy loved her and she did'nt, she has done all these things just because of attraction as she was attracted towards him she never loved that guy.

    You see man!! your wife's affair has taken my previous profile "fuad2100" away from me what a wife she is!! She played with your relationship and also played with my profile. Memorable wife!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear madam

    pls help me out iam in big mess m married man me & my wife were very happy with this relation.It was arranged marriage and now the problem is tht my wife was having an affair with someone else before marriage but due to some problems they didnt got married now i have came to know about all these things.i used to ask my wife if there is anything like tht pls do let me know but she always denied now i have came to know tht she was physically intimated with that guy many times even she had to undergo for the abortion due to this,the boy got married before our marriage even after boys marriage he used my wife and she simply allowed him for that now m asking for the divorce she is saying tht she loves me very much and cant live with out me and when i asked her about all this she told tht the guy loved her and she did'nt, she has done all these things just because of attraction as she was attracted towards him she never loved that guy.
    I understand that you are hurt and you want to divorce her. But see the thing is that no one is perfect right. As a girl I would say that it is hard for a girl admit these things... That son of a ***** used her he will go to ****ing hell. Please forgive your wife and see how you can work it out. Please consider this... Thanks God bless.

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    Well,
    Tell me one thing...if she would tell you before you came to know abt it so wht would you do ????

    Would you accept her ??
    Would you still marry her ??
    Would you able to have a normal life which you had since last few yrs with her ??
    She had that fear in her mind...that is why she hide it .
    And plus had some responsibility abt her parents respect too , which she did not take seriously once but cannot afford to do that again.

    Plus they both wanted to get married but it did not happen, she might did it with a plan of marrying him.

    You said, you both were doing good .... DO you know, how much important is this thn just having a virgin wife ?????

    There are so many girls i know, those were virgin and they are now having the worst life ??? Their husbands dont care abt it ...not a big deal for them...VIRGIN SO WHT ???

    Yes, she did mistake ... everyone does some or other mistake ...
    But she tired to give you the best that is why you guys were having happy life... Thats wht she wants....

    There is a very small difference between Attraction and love ...
    It sounds like big difference but no it is not ... a person can do pretty much same in attraction to a person as he/she would do in love ... the main and only difference is that their heart does not beat every second for the other person ... """something is missing ... means its not love """".

    Well, now she is telling you the truth, after having a wonderfull life, you cannot even think to forgive her...wht would you do if she would tell you all this earlier.... thn wht would be your decision ????

    Think abt it...
    Think abt all the positive things which she did for you and this negative thing which she did before you came in to her life ....

    Wht the gaurantee that now you will get a virgin wife and BTW now you are too not virgin ...why you want a virgin wife now...would it be justice to her virginity and yes if you are thinkig of marrying a divorcee ... and how would you find that she only slept with her ex husband ...
    thn for wht you are giving divorce to your wife .

    Everyone hide their mistakes and try to improve their character and nature.... she did it too ...
    REsult ::: you both had good life ...
    go and just love her n hug her ... You will be blessed with all the happiness in your life... Forgive her once for all the love you do to each other...

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    Quote Originally Posted by lifesite View Post
    Well,
    Tell me one thing...if she would tell you before you came to know abt it so wht would you do ????

    Would you accept her ??
    Would you still marry her ??
    Would you able to have a normal life which you had since last few yrs with her ??
    She had that fear in her mind...that is why she hide it .
    And plus had some responsibility abt her parents respect too , which she did not take seriously once but cannot afford to do that again.

    Plus they both wanted to get married but it did not happen, she might did it with a plan of marrying him.

    You said, you both were doing good .... DO you know, how much important is this thn just having a virgin wife ?????

    There are so many girls i know, those were virgin and they are now having the worst life ??? Their husbands dont care abt it ...not a big deal for them...VIRGIN SO WHT ???

    Yes, she did mistake ... everyone does some or other mistake ...
    But she tired to give you the best that is why you guys were having happy life... Thats wht she wants....

    There is a very small difference between Attraction and love ...
    It sounds like big difference but no it is not ... a person can do pretty much same in attraction to a person as he/she would do in love ... the main and only difference is that their heart does not beat every second for the other person ... """something is missing ... means its not love """".

    Well, now she is telling you the truth, after having a wonderfull life, you cannot even think to forgive her...wht would you do if she would tell you all this earlier.... thn wht would be your decision ????

    Think abt it...
    Think abt all the positive things which she did for you and this negative thing which she did before you came in to her life ....

    Wht the gaurantee that now you will get a virgin wife and BTW now you are too not virgin ...why you want a virgin wife now...would it be justice to her virginity and yes if you are thinkig of marrying a divorcee ... and how would you find that she only slept with her ex husband ...
    thn for wht you are giving divorce to your wife .

    Everyone hide their mistakes and try to improve their character and nature.... she did it too ...
    REsult ::: you both had good life ...
    go and just love her n hug her ... You will be blessed with all the happiness in your life... Forgive her once for all the love you do to each other...

    - Ofh what an advice.. what an advice...So Impressive.... very nice....so matured...so justify...Tell me who u r... I will become a fan of u.

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