Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 26

Thread: Is sex OK if we can't marry

  1. #1
    UNREGISTERED
    Guest

    Question Need urgent advice plzzzzzz!!!!

    Hello mam!!

    I m a 23/m .
    I had a friend in my college then we get closer and now we r in love from more than one year.
    As our love get mature we get closer and started doing some all the activities except sex, as a commitment b/w us we hadn't sex yet,but almost 99% of it.

    Now prob is that we love each other very much and she is willing to marry me in future as a girl wants but problem is on my side as in my family there is no example of intercaste marriage(i m a brahman and she is rajpoot ) and i i know that if i just want to take that first step i will be not supported by an of family members.

    After knowing this fact that we will not reach our destination(marrige)
    i said her to broke up wid me and even i stat ignoring her but as she was addictive to me and my love she started the drama and then she said that she will not force me to marry her ,and urged me not to ignore her.

    Now wr are again in ok posotion and now she wanted to have sex wid me but i m afraid that is is right to have sex wid her as i cfant marry her and till now i m feeling guilty bcoz i m not wid her and what will happen if i had sex wid her and finally i had to leave her alone, what will happen to her , what shud i do now plz suggest me ,!!!!!
    After some months i m going to other city for my studies!!!!

  2. #2
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    35,244
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    99% ? I guess that means you have been upto foreplay but not intercourse. Use your conscience and say a big NO to her if you are not going to keep this relationship. Don't let anything come in between your goal and career. Tell her that doing sex now will only bring problems in the future. Its a good thing that you haven't slipped yet.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
    - Abraham Lincoln


  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Well, if you are moving out of the city and you cannot marry, then you better be a little firm about not having sex otherwise, you may find yourself in a tough emotional situation.

    See, you are not going to be together permanently, that you are convinced about- so why indulge in sex when you have not so far? This girl does not realise it now, but she does have to marry someone later and then she'll be stressing about her lost virginity!

    So, tell her to take it easy and you should take it cool too!

  4. #4
    New Born
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    India
    Posts
    79
    Rep Power
    92

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!
    As our love get mature we get closer and started doing some all the activities except sex, as a commitment b/w us we hadn't sex yet,but almost 99% of it.
    Can you please elaborate on the above sentence? What do you mean by except sex, but still 99% of it. If I am to interpret, you both probably just did not indulge in intercourse, other than that every form of pleasure and sexual enjoyment has been experienced between you both. So whats remaining now? The girl is at best only a " technical " virgin and nothing more and the same goes for you as well. When you both knew it right from the beginning that marriage was out of question, what was the need to drag this relation for so long?
    Anyways remaining part of your query has been answered very well by Preeto Mam so just follow as she says. The girl anyways would feel equally stressful when in future she marries some other guy as she has already gone all the way even if she has not indulged in actual intercourse.

  5. #5
    SB Addict Shravan6886's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    881
    Rep Power
    85

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!

    I m a 23/m .
    I had a friend in my college then we get closer and now we r in love from more than one year.
    As our love get mature we get closer and started doing some all the activities except sex, as a commitment b/w us we hadn't sex yet,but almost 99% of it.

    Now prob is that we love each other very much and she is willing to marry me in future as a girl wants but problem is on my side as in my family there is no example of intercaste marriage(i m a brahman and she is rajpoot ) and i i know that if i just want to take that first step i will be not supported by an of family members.

    After knowing this fact that we will not reach our destination(marrige)
    i said her to broke up wid me and even i stat ignoring her but as she was addictive to me and my love she started the drama and then she said that she will not force me to marry her ,and urged me not to ignore her.

    Now wr are again in ok posotion and now she wanted to have sex wid me but i m afraid that is is right to have sex wid her as i cfant marry her and till now i m feeling guilty bcoz i m not wid her and what will happen if i had sex wid her and finally i had to leave her alone, what will happen to her , what shud i do now plz suggest me ,!!!!!
    After some months i m going to other city for my studies!!!!

    Everybody has their own opinion about the premarital sex, so if u think that this idea of having sex is going to make u feel guilty then u should probably refrain from the idea and take a stand and tell her that u feel odd about this whole thing and don't want to be forced into such a thing.

  6. #6
    New Born
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    18
    Rep Power
    99

    Default

    If u cant marry then its better to avoid getting physically intimate.

    Sex is not some fun game. It require a lot of responsibility and unless u are not ready to put that amount of commitment into your rrelationship dont do it

  7. #7
    New Born abhi_w92's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Delhi
    Posts
    62
    Rep Power
    86

    Default

    Dont break her virginity damnit... and spoil her life by devastating her emotionally and mentally. Stay away from her.
    Get a life.

  8. #8
    Healer!! Major FeeDback's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Kepler-22b
    Posts
    5,328
    Rep Power
    100

    Lightbulb

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello mam!!

    I m a 23/m .
    I had a friend in my college then we get closer and now we r in love from more than one year.
    As our love get mature we get closer and started doing some all the activities except sex, as a commitment b/w us we hadn't sex yet,but almost 99% of it.

    Now prob is that we love each other very much and she is willing to marry me in future as a girl wants but problem is on my side as in my family there is no example of intercaste marriage(i m a brahman and she is rajpoot ) and i i know that if i just want to take that first step i will be not supported by an of family members.

    After knowing this fact that we will not reach our destination(marrige)
    i said her to broke up wid me and even i stat ignoring her but as she was addictive to me and my love she started the drama and then she said that she will not force me to marry her ,and urged me not to ignore her.

    Now wr are again in ok posotion and now she wanted to have sex wid me but i m afraid that is is right to have sex wid her as i cfant marry her and till now i m feeling guilty bcoz i m not wid her and what will happen if i had sex wid her and finally i had to leave her alone, what will happen to her , what shud i do now plz suggest me ,!!!!!
    After some months i m going to other city for my studies!!!!
    You are feeling bad and guilty for right reason. It is wrong. Avoid her [it will save you both from lots of regret in long term] till you move to another city for studies.
    P.S. - She'd find a better guy than you, who is more sensible and loving. Advice for you, don't involve any other girl with you like this if you aren't sure, you've done a lot with her which you shouldn't have. But think again and try to convince your parents and marry her.
    Last edited by FeeDback; 02-06-2011 at 11:06 PM.
    It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life so interesting. . .

  9. #9
    ✿ VILLAIN ✿ Brigadier General Albert Pinto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Dharthi sunehri, amber neela, her mausam rangeela...
    Posts
    23,856
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Just stop this inter caste crap............
    U have almost done everything.....99%........And that too before marriage.... Do u really consider u r self as Brahman.......??
    A man is Brahman by his deeds not by birth.....

    Act mature.....Stop getting physical....But be in contact with her, No breakup please.....Concentrate on u r studies, secure a job and yes Marry her....She seems damn serious about this relationship.....
    Kuch baat hai ki hasti meet ti nahi hamari
    Sadiyo raha hai dushman daur-e-zamaana hamara



  10. #10
    Young Gun abraham_lk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    200
    Rep Power
    73

    Default

    If thats what both of u want then ok. You mus t also make sure this wont affect ur future life. Coz suppose u get a wife who is suspicious, or he she gets a husband who doesnt like thisincident in past, then both of urs marriage can break.

  11. #11
    Banned Colonel
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Resurrected !!!
    Posts
    13,795
    Rep Power
    0

    Talking Kahin tumhara naam

    Saif ali kan toh nahi....???


    bus kareena aur saif ki yaad dilaadi tumne

  12. #12
    ✿♥ mesmerized♥✿ Lieutenant-Colonel imeggz_leoness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    ✿Dil Waalon Ki Dilli✿
    Posts
    7,309
    Rep Power
    76

    Default :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Pinto View Post
    Just stop this inter caste crap............
    U have almost done everything.....99%........And that too before marriage.... Do u really consider u r self as Brahman.......??
    A man is Brahman by his deeds not by birth.....

    Act mature.....Stop getting physical....But be in contact with her, No breakup please.....Concentrate on u r studies, secure a job and yes Marry her....She seems damn serious about this relationship.....

  13. #13
    New Born
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    88
    Rep Power
    74

    Default

    For one thing,i appreciate the maturity you have shown by not losing control and having sex,but there's one thing that you are going wrong at....You seriouly have given up on her.If she loves you so much,you seriously need to fight for her,or atleast make an attempt at gaining ur parent's understanding when the time of marriage comes.Dot give up on true love so soon,as love doesnt see caste.

  14. #14
    New Born
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    53
    Rep Power
    76

    Default

    u are right. dont do it.
    today she is asking for it, tomorrow we all will see her in this forum itself asking us if her husband will know that she is not a virgin.
    it happens always. so u have been a nice guy up until now. dont spoil your name now.

  15. #15
    SB Champion Lieutenant
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,139
    Rep Power
    88

    Default

    Well dont do it... this inter cast thing is bull if you are from the same religion. I really dont understand why people still believe in that. Well I really dont know whay she is asking for sex because it is not something that a well cuntured girl or a boy does. Say no to her and tell her that without your parents blessings this relationship can't be successful. I understand that it will be hard for you both to accept this but it is better for you future. You can always try to convince your parents and if they see that you really love her and will be happy with her then they may drop the intercast bullshit and let you marry her. But NO to sex before merriage.

Similar Threads

  1. Confused whom to marry
    By Unregistered in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 27-10-2010, 06:00 AM
  2. Should a woman marry her rapist ?????
    By javsayy in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 21-10-2010, 12:46 AM
  3. Rakhi will not marry Elesh
    By Rocky-10 in forum Television
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 27-07-2010, 08:14 PM
  4. Many guys will turn up and would die to marry her: Ravi Kishen
    By maveric_k in forum Bollywood Celebrities
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 13-07-2010, 12:00 PM
  5. Should I marry this girl or not?
    By rjshjangid in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 20-02-2010, 05:32 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •