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Thread: He's suspicious, abusive and a flirt

  1. #1
    New Born Lovisha's Avatar
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    Unhappy He's suspicious, abusive and a flirt

    Hello preto mam and everyone,

    I can'nt understand wat should i do or wat should'n do. im in reletionship last 6 yers, my bf is vry lovable and caring for me and he loves me soo much and i loves him a lots. but main prob is that we are in live-in-relationship last 4-5 years, we decide to get marry when my sistes will get married, last 2 years his behave vry diffrent and he was ignoring me,as well he was flirt with me female friend like, i was trust him like blind but he broke my heart, when i was know this i was vry angry and broke-up with him. and i was started talk and spend my more time wid my friends ( m/f) when he was know about that i am talked to the male person he got ager and keep watching on me, and 2 monts back he was meet me and fight wid me that im mean type of grl and cheated him, and afterthat when our discussion was reach on high point he beate me
    afterthat i decide to get away from him and shift to my coucin sister home. afterthat he was started to meet me and say sorry to me, i loves him soo much so i was forgive him, now he's behave like before means he starting ignoring me..and when he was in his homtown he can'nt talk to me.we r decide to get marry..........pls pls mam tell me wat should i do.
    should i get marry wid him or keep away from him.
    plsssssssss tell me

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi there,

    You should think a 100 times before you decide to marry him. No matter how much you love someone, you have to value yourself and your physical and emotional safety first. Don't end up damaging yourself for the love of someone who may not value that love.

    Think about it seriously!

  3. #3
    New Born Lovisha's Avatar
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    Unhappy thnx a ton mam

    Hello mam,
    I will follow your advise, but i want to ask one thing if i get married to someone he"ll know that im not virgin or shell i informed to him regarding my past relationship. im in doubt, and one more thing mam he vry cleaver kind of person he already told me that he wan't leave me if i try to leave him he will show my some pics to my family person.

    plsssss mam tell me pls
    Quote Originally Posted by Preeto Maam View Post
    Hi there,

    You should think a 100 times before you decide to marry him. No matter how much you love someone, you have to value yourself and your physical and emotional safety first. Don't end up damaging yourself for the love of someone who may not value that love.

    Think about it seriously!

  4. #4
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Dint you say you were in a live in relationship? So, surely your family would know about this fellow. Anyway, his threats should not make to succumb to his demands- threats and force do not make a good relationship, do they?

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    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovisha View Post
    Hello mam,
    I will follow your advise, but i want to ask one thing if i get married to someone he"ll know that im not virgin or shell i informed to him regarding my past relationship. im in doubt, and one more thing mam he vry cleaver kind of person he already told me that he wan't leave me if i try to leave him he will show my some pics to my family person.

    plsssss mam tell me pls
    One thing that you can do is tell your family about this relationship. Initially they may be surprised and angry, but they will help you. If in the worst case, if your bf tries to show your pics to your family, it would not create much of a difference. With time, your parents will forgive you; after all, they are our parents and they always want our betterment.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
    - Abraham Lincoln


  6. #6
    Young Gun
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    ask one thing if i get married to someone he"ll know that im not virgin
    why do u want to hide ur non virginity ? Its wrong. very wrong.

    ur future partner will be doubtful ....as there are some "hints" which may create suspicion...


    Last edited by galaxy_resident; 14-06-2011 at 11:20 PM. Reason: No external links!

  7. #7
    Ex - terminating the Ex.. Lieutenant-Colonel Colonel Hannibal Smith's Avatar
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    unfortunately u r stuck wid a total psychotic loser who vl remain suspicious n watchy all his life...i guess he lost his credibility da day he put his hands over u n abused u..its time to move on!

    about virginity thing...just coz u loved a guy n trusted him n u went da extra mile...n then dat guy turns out a psycho...doesnt means u lost da right to love n be loved again!
    there will be men who will think of u as a complete trash when u tell dem about ur physicality in ur last relationship...n its ur individual choice...
    i guess its better to be free of any guilt n wait for da guy 2 accept u da way u r...rather than live besides him all life thinkin' 'whether i shud hv told him or not'!??

    it might be possible he will blame u for being a non virgin later in ur life n take it as his line of defence in post marital disputes...but bearing with those abuses will be much easier n defendable than living with the guilt of being hideously pretending all ur life!

    i leave the decision on u as per ur thinking n preferences! think about it n take a decision...!

  8. #8
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    he doesnt sound like a trust worthy guy from what u say about him. Girl all he needs u to do is continue staying with him.Dont risk ur heart & life in hands of a man who doesnt value u.

    But like u say if u really love him,then maybe u cannot see his faults clearly . Think well & decide for yourself. Do u think he may not do in future, what he already did ??
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovisha View Post
    Hello mam,
    I will follow your advise, but i want to ask one thing if i get married to someone he"ll know that im not virgin or shell i informed to him regarding my past relationship. im in doubt, and one more thing mam he vry cleaver kind of person he already told me that he wan't leave me if i try to leave him he will show my some pics to my family person.

    plsssss mam tell me pls
    Remember one thing girl.. in ur entire life--"When u fear something,ur fear eats u up"..

    NEVER EVER FEAR FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING... BE BRAVE..

    at the worse whats gonna happen???ur family will knnow truth right?? its okay let them know.. before ahnd u can tell your family that u liked one guy & not anymore with him.& also tell them that he may do something like that.

    But i dont think that guy may come up with such pictures. He hadnt introduced u to his family,kept u on live in,obviously u a chapter of his life he doesnt wanna reveal. There his own harm if he does.But dont be over confident.

    Always in life take the fair ways,this way u may never fear.

    first talk to family & prepare them for it. Next talk to this guy. Tell him its over,ask him for pictures,or ask him to delete pictures,emails, or any contact information.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  10. #10
    Young Gun
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    he is behaving like a typical indian man. Now if u behave like typical indian woman rather than western babe things can improve.

    u need to tell him to stop flirting & abusing by being strict and loving at same time.

    Live in for so many years ! In my view ur already his woman for life. He is feeling insecure... so dont take independent decisions ...ask ur man and then decide. in short, behave like a good wife.

    most probably he is taking drastic steps.plz understand his fear and insecurity. He is a human.

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