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Thread: Should I give my whole salary to my hubby?

  1. #1
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    Angry Should I give my whole salary to my hubby?

    Should I give each paisa of My salary to my hubby if he's not earning much....Till date I have been doing so...& he used to give me some money for the monthly expenses(to b spent on him, me & our 2 yr old son approx. 2000/-.If god forbid I asked him more or purchased sthng & he had to pay for it...he was like.... u r spending My Money....A few days back we had an argument & for the first time in our 3 yrs of marriage I argued vry strongly...b'coz he was fighting for 150 rupees.......I felt so pathetic...he was fighting with me for such petty amount...he took the argument to such extent that he declared that I don't trust him....how gr8...& at last when I said is the amount worthy of such a big fight....I was shocked...completely shattered to hear his reply...he said that he is angry with me b'coz I argued with him....had I listened to all his allegations mutely...he would not have stopped talking with me....Now I'm feeling like I'm nothing for him...jst der to look after the famil,my child, to cook for him, to wash for him & jst to plz him...I really feel bad for myself...I gave my everything to this man to keep his ego & self esteem intact...& he.....hardly evn cares.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi!

    well, you know, we all behave very badly when we fifgt with each other and say the meanest of things, so don't judge him on the basis of just one quarrel.

    As far as the salary is concerned...well, the effective way is to decide to contribute an equal amount (or an amount mutually decided upon) towards the housekeeping, so that neither of the partners feels that they are contributing more or less. If handled in a mature way, this is an effective way!

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    Although ur husband is behaving like a big time loser, i wud advice u to be the more sensible partner.. Give him the money he wants.. Y do u look upon urself as someone different from him? U two are married and u shud consider urselves as a single entity.. Try explaining this last line to ur hubby too and reach a mutual consensus on this topic instead of arguing and shouting at each other.

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    Its very easy to see that this guy is exploiting u and ur money
    Stop spplying money to him.. if he need money, tell him to work and earn it like a man, not by begging after his wife

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    ~ cavalier ~ ♀ ☣ )o( ⌆ Lieutenant-Colonel Lisbonstar28's Avatar
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    If it was a 'one-off' argument - just let it be, forgive and forget. If however he is one of those who has a domineering, kill-joy personality and want's to control you, i'd urge you to assertively stand your ground and confront him . This is not what a marriage should be about. Not respecting each others needs and individuality and to be controlling wantonly, is abuse ! You can allow this abuse to happen the once and you are innocent, but if you keep on at allowing and not do something about it, then you have only yourself to blame. Have a calm chat, think of way's where you both can spend and yet be saving as well, put forward your plans to him. Perhaps you could live on his salary and as a team save yours for the future. Or vice versa. There's lots of ways.

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    Well, i really don't think that you should give away your entire salary.. i mean keep it in your account, yes but give him the complete right to withdraw any amount whenever he wants!!
    And regarding fight for 150 rs, see it does happen with every couple.
    i mean i stilll fight with my husband for his dirty socks, wet towel, etc etc..



    try 2 talk 2 him when he is "shaant" ../ calm....

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    SB Addict Shravan6886's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Should I give each paisa of My salary to my hubby if he's not earning much....Till date I have been doing so...& he used to give me some money for the monthly expenses(to b spent on him, me & our 2 yr old son approx. 2000/-.If god forbid I asked him more or purchased sthng & he had to pay for it...he was like.... u r spending My Money....A few days back we had an argument & for the first time in our 3 yrs of marriage I argued vry strongly...b'coz he was fighting for 150 rupees.......I felt so pathetic...he was fighting with me for such petty amount...he took the argument to such extent that he declared that I don't trust him....how gr8...& at last when I said is the amount worthy of such a big fight....I was shocked...completely shattered to hear his reply...he said that he is angry with me b'coz I argued with him....had I listened to all his allegations mutely...he would not have stopped talking with me....Now I'm feeling like I'm nothing for him...jst der to look after the famil,my child, to cook for him, to wash for him & jst to plz him...I really feel bad for myself...I gave my everything to this man to keep his ego & self esteem intact...& he.....hardly evn cares.
    Do you love ur husband or are u just staying with him just coz of ur marriage/kid???

    Marriage runs on terms lady, like trust, understanding and so on. U need to adjust with things in it and maintain a balance if u want to keep it intact. I do agree that u r independent that's good but the ego u have been showing isn't good for the marriage. See things work in such a way that if ur husband is high on something then u need to get on the lower side of it to make a balance, instead if u too get on the higher side then who will maintain the balance???

    So if u want to keep ur marriage good then have a control on ur ego and maintain it low, ur husband's ego will also come down eventually.

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    i can feel for u honey. i will tell u about the recent story of my friend n her husband who have barried for the last 13 years n they r in the same profession. back home, the woman was earning more than her husband n would give each n everything to her husband n even would spend on his exams n courses,n the husband would b either resting home or taking easy shifts at work for being working at the same place. now recently they have moved abroad with their kids n husband hs to work n woman is acting as a housewife because its hard to get a good job abroad we all know that.anyway her husband has shown his reality n kept his wife so MUHTAAJ for a single penny she has to hear so much insult besides wht all she had done for her husband has gone down the drain n forgotten .even if she asks for necessaties ,her husband wouldnt pay n would insult her n tell her to get of the house n tell him this universal sentence which every woman has to hear at the end of the day AKHIR TUMNAY AAJ TAK KYA HE KIA HAY.. like wtf.. who had been payng for ur higher studies, working all day long,ignoring kids n everything,doing washing cooking cleanin etc for him. now when the times changed ,hes forgotten everything. so what shes learnt from her life-lesson tht she will never repeat tht mistake of giving her evrything to her man ,rather would save it for her kids future. u know the reality of the other person n ur worth only in ur bad times tht who honest to u n how much.. if i were u i wouldnt show my real salary to my husband ,atleast i wouldnt tell him abt my expenditures n wont give him everything to make him get used to the READY MADE ,tayar khor habit. b strong n stand up for ur right. u r a wife,not a slave bt again, do whteevr u want bt calmly n properly,not aggresively..goodluck

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    who have been married i meant*

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    I recommend here! I was ready to go out to travel! So here I bought a Tablet PC, so bored I can watch my favorite online content! http://x.vu/225962

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    Quote Originally Posted by complete_man View Post
    Although ur husband is behaving like a big time loser, i wud advice u to be the more sensible partner.. Give him the money he wants.. Y do u look upon urself as someone different from him? U two are married and u shud consider urselves as a single entity.. Try explaining this last line to ur hubby too and reach a mutual consensus on this topic instead of arguing and shouting at each other.


    WELL SAID YAAR.


  12. #12
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    hey there...

    i know itz really hard to adjust with that little amount ...and your hubby also seems to be out of work so may be he is trying to save some amount. Apart from that if he alone spends money and don alllow u to do so ...that is not ok but if he is saving money then he will expect same from you....you also have a baby so like other freins said rather then fighting you guys should make a way out....trust is important in a relationship ....fighting ,arguing makes it worst dear....

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    Default thumbs up to KIMORA

    well said kimora too ....therz noone you can trust with blind eyes
    like she said don show him the real expenses ...do the household on your own and save for your childz future......

  14. #14
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    How about talking your husband about this in a way that both of you can contribute and have a happy life. He is being crazy and he is being one the males that he is the only one who can control things in any way he likes. If you can't work this on your own then get some professional help.

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    actually dear lady, u giving him all ur money from beginning has made him think ,subconsiously taht it belongs to him. it is all his money. & he takes it for granted taht u r giving it for benefit of house.

    anyways he seems like very stingy man. money should never come between husbnad-wife.

    what u could do instead of fighting or argueing was. just tell him how hurt u felt. & tell him u are going to give him less money from next month as ur own expenses have incraesed.


    also whatever he told in anger are just angry words. never feel for words told in anger. usually a person doesnt mean to say them.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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