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Thread: Boss making sexual advances

  1. #1
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    Default Boss making sexual advances

    I am a married women and without doing anything wrong i am being punished and in a situation from where only i will be getting all the blame.

    From the time this new guy came as our new manager in our IT firm, i have been going through torrid time.He is a dog and has spoiled my entire life.It all started from our official tour where our team went ( 6 odd people ) and this was the place where he first proposed me knowingly i am married. I politely refused as i did not wanted to create a scene and also did not tell my husband as he himself has many work issues and i did not wanted to increase his tension.
    He on the 4th night of the tour asked me for a 1 night stand in an indirect way for which i obviously refused but told him to refrain from such things.
    Then after few days during an official party we in a group were dancing and he came and started dancing and i immediately went off from dance floor. I love my husband and has always been loyal and i have hidden such things from him just because it would have increased his tensions.
    Last month we were on a trip as a team with 3 other people , our few team members as well and during the stay in hotel he again touched me and said that i will go places if we can spend some quality time and i this time threw him away litreally and asked him to be in his limits.
    Last week when our team won first rank among other teams i was hugging every member which was a hug for 4-5-6 seconds or max 10 sec. I had to hug him and i dont know how he got the time to make vulgar faces while hugging and also some person took pictures on his behalf. He has so bad facial expressions of cheap type and now he says he will show it to my husband if i do not agree to his demands.
    I want to tell this all my husband but do not have the courage that why i hide for so much long. also the pics will prove me wrong because they are real . I am finished and my marriage is on the rocks , what can i do. Please help me.
    Last edited by Preeto Maam; 09-10-2011 at 02:10 PM.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, tell him just the way you are telling us here. You and your husband love and trust each other and in fact, when such harassment happens at the workplace, you must speak of it to your family and to your seniors. Keeping it under wraps will not serve any good purpose. Anyway, you better come clean and tell him what’s happened so that you can tackle this together.

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    You love your husband and hav been honest towards him So now just go and thrash this man by telling truth to your husband. At best show this thread to him and express to your husband. He loves you and you love him and first make him emotional , do tell the truth after having sex with him, men listen more and agree more when in bed

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    Thumbs up Be bold and teach him a lesson!

    First, U do have a valid reason for why u hid all these from ur husband for so long! i can really understand as these might create an extra pressure and u thot u could manage these. But i think its time for u to act quick without thinking bout anything, this bast**d needs to b thot a lesson! He juz cant make advances on whom ever he wants, especially wen he is well aware that u r married!

    Let me tell u something, he knows very well that u r scared and he believes u wont go public, now that has become his strength! he will threaten u saying ur marriage is on jeopardy! YOUR FEAR IS HIS STRENGTH! but let me tell u, the more u delay the more u ll regret, so i think u need to make ur move fast and seriously, BE BOLD GIRL! you know there is no mistake from ur part, am sure ur husband will understand u! dont let fear creep in and u ll regret more, make sure u send this ugly bast**d to prison! he doesn deserve to be respected socially!

    Juz tell all these to ur hubby and complain an FIR @ local women's police station saying he is sexually harassing u! trust me, u wont lose ur respect , instead u ll gain respect so DO THIS! don't succumb urself to his pressure! he is doing all these to some how wanting to have sex with u! but don't let that happen, tatter his image and send him to jail! by doing this, u r not only teaching him a lesson but also saving other innocent girls in ur position, show him its wrong to have such intentions and make move on whichever girl he wants to b wid!

    Be bold and teach him a lesson!

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am a married women and without doing anything wrong i am being punished and in a situation from where only i will be getting all the blame.

    From the time this new guy came as our new manager in our IT firm, i have been going through torrid time.He is a dog and has spoiled my entire life.It all started from our official tour where our team went ( 6 odd people ) and this was the place where he first proposed me knowingly i am married. I politely refused as i did not wanted to create a scene and also did not tell my husband as he himself has many work issues and i did not wanted to increase his tension.
    He on the 4th night of the tour asked me for a 1 night stand in an indirect way for which i obviously refused but told him to refrain from such things.
    Then after few days during an official party we in a group were dancing and he came and started dancing and i immediately went off from dance floor. I love my husband and has always been loyal and i have hidden such things from him just because it would have increased his tensions.
    Last month we were on a trip as a team with 3 other people , our few team members as well and during the stay in hotel he again touched me and said that i will go places if we can spend some quality time and i this time threw him away litreally and asked him to be in his limits.
    Last week when our team won first rank among other teams i was hugging every member which was a hug for 4-5-6 seconds or max 10 sec. I had to hug him and i dont know how he got the time to make vulgar faces while hugging and also some person took pictures on his behalf. He has so bad facial expressions of cheap type and now he says he will show it to my husband if i do not agree to his demands.
    I want to tell this all my husband but do not have the courage that why i hide for so much long. also the pics will prove me wrong because they are real . I am finished and my marriage is on the rocks , what can i do. Please help me.
    Last edited by jason_deme; 09-10-2011 at 02:39 PM.

  5. #5
    GO SPURS GO! Brigadier General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    You should have told your husband long ago, but you kept quiet and now have landed into problems. If you had told him, he would have helped you in every way but now it will be complicated when he will ask you why you hid these things from him for so long. Anyways, tell him what happened from the starting. Also complain to your company's HR dept. about this jerk and if necessary, lodge an FIR in the police station. Probably, your company will take this seriously as nowadays sexual harassment cases have increased at workplaces. Don't be feared of this guy because the more you will fear him, the more he will pin you down. Be courageous and strong in front of this guy.
    Fight your Fears and you will be in Battle Forever
    Control your Fears and you will be Free Forever



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    Your mistake here is that you did not take action the first few times, may be the first time can be excused but when he kept on misbehaving, you should have taken some action.
    It's not too late , just let your husband know what is happening, but more importantly Contact the HR department of your office and report the issue.
    All companies specially IT companies have a very strict policy against these things, you should even have a Womens committee with a senior lady executive heading it, Report the issue to them too.

  7. #7
    SB Addict Shravan6886's Avatar
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    Y did u had to hug that idiotic person, u could have just shook his hand as a congratulatory gesture. Anyway, just tell u husband only about the latest one not every other thing u have mentioned here coz he'll definitely feel betrayed for not telling all these for so long. So just tell him that u had a group hug for being the first ranked team and during that he(manager) clicked some disturbing pics on his mobile and u are feeling disgusted about them. just keep him informed about those pics and in case if ur manager sends them to ur husband then refer them with the same. By doing this u won't hurt his feelings and also his trust in u will be intact even in the worst case scenario.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shravan6886 View Post
    Y did u had to hug that idiotic person, u could have just shook his hand as a congratulatory gesture. Anyway, just tell u husband only about the latest one not every other thing u have mentioned here coz he'll definitely feel betrayed for not telling all these for so long. So just tell him that u had a group hug for being the first ranked team and during that he(manager) clicked some disturbing pics on his mobile and u are feeling disgusted about them. just keep him informed about those pics and in case if ur manager sends them to ur husband then refer them with the same. By doing this u won't hurt his feelings and also his trust in u will be intact even in the worst case scenario.
    NEED A BREAK FROM LIFE

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    Why d hell you hugged him? I think we indian females are far better than same boring n dull bahu's of television dramas in reality... Y did u hide evrything from him like all othr typical bahu's do? i mean common it is nt a tv show where evrythng would be fine @ last.. be practical it's all about your real life marriage...
    anyways tell him that you never took his action seriously enuff.. bt now u r sorry .. and just stay away from him.. u should ignore him, avoid places where u meet in private.. dn't give him any chance ...got it?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I am a married women and without doing anything wrong i am being punished and in a situation from where only i will be getting all the blame.

    From the time this new guy came as our new manager in our IT firm, i have been going through torrid time.He is a dog and has spoiled my entire life.It all started from our official tour where our team went ( 6 odd people ) and this was the place where he first proposed me knowingly i am married. I politely refused as i did not wanted to create a scene and also did not tell my husband as he himself has many work issues and i did not wanted to increase his tension.
    He on the 4th night of the tour asked me for a 1 night stand in an indirect way for which i obviously refused but told him to refrain from such things.
    Then after few days during an official party we in a group were dancing and he came and started dancing and i immediately went off from dance floor. I love my husband and has always been loyal and i have hidden such things from him just because it would have increased his tensions.
    Last month we were on a trip as a team with 3 other people , our few team members as well and during the stay in hotel he again touched me and said that i will go places if we can spend some quality time and i this time threw him away litreally and asked him to be in his limits.
    Last week when our team won first rank among other teams i was hugging every member which was a hug for 4-5-6 seconds or max 10 sec. I had to hug him and i dont know how he got the time to make vulgar faces while hugging and also some person took pictures on his behalf. He has so bad facial expressions of cheap type and now he says he will show it to my husband if i do not agree to his demands.
    I want to tell this all my husband but do not have the courage that why i hide for so much long. also the pics will prove me wrong because they are real . I am finished and my marriage is on the rocks , what can i do. Please help me.
    You already created tension for him and yourself.

    Now tell everything to Ur hubby...and get rid of this situation.

    otherwise u will definitely fall in ur boss trap.

  11. #11
    SB Champion Lieutenant Sidon21's Avatar
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    You should have told your husband about all this and should have never hugged a person like this. Now don't bend to him and confront your husband to all this. Than file a complaint against him in police or some women's cell. Then just wait and watch as he rubs his nose on your feet....

  12. #12
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    ahh! calm down girl..
    relax and take a deep breath
    tell about this to your husband and tell him that you didnt tell him earlier because he already had so many work related tensions so you didnt want to increase his tensions and give him health issues

    about the pics, ask your b@stard boss to go and show them to your husband, yes! seriously!
    but before doing so, you already tell your husband about how you were hugging everyone and when you hugged this guy, as he too is a part of your team, he got the pictures clicked by someone just to blackmail you so he can misuse those pictures for his pleasure

    and please dont hesitate to talk about this to him because you are not at all wrong, are you?
    always remember, never lie, hide things from ur partner and never ever hesitate to tell the truth, even if you are wrong

    and btw, your boss is a real dog in human form, complain about him to the head of the company, and make the company take strict action against him...because if you keep queit today, he might use you and your other female colleagues in the near future for his wicked pleasures


  13. #13
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    if u act scared, this guy will bully u, & end u up in bigger mess.
    tell it to husband.& also try to switch job.
    u can even try confronting ur boss rudely. tell him to put an end to it,else u will report sexual harassment at work FIR.


    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  14. #14
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    Wow your boss has gotten you into a real 'situation' as I can see. He has planned it rather strategically! Btw, as some others are saying, why on earth did you have to HUG him?? Not apt! We don't hug our bosses. That was rather foolish. And btw, I'm sure there are other females in the workplace too. So why is it that he only tries to pursue YOU like this, in spite of you being married? Strange! Anyway I wouldn't say that your marriage is on the rocks, or that all's lost. But you certainly need to ACT fast.

    You should do 2 things immediately. Firstly, tell your husband what is going on. It is ABSOLUTELY essential that you take him into confidence and let him know everything! Don't hide any of it from him. I understand that he may have tensions of his own, but believe me he'd want to know about the trouble you are facing at work...! You are in a highly vulnerable position, and should never hide such things from your partner. You need all the help and support you could get, from all directions. Don't worry, your husband will trust you. Tell him the actual story. And also keep your trusted colleagues informed.
    Secondly, confront your boss asap and demand that he STOP his nasty games. If he doesn't cooperate, then tell HIS superior (assuming there's someone above him). And if this step doesn't work, or there is nobody above him, then I'm afraid the only thing left for you to do would be to quit the company asap, and also report him to the authorities if you could. What he's doing is criminal!
    Always better to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't want to be working under such a jacka$$ anyway...!
    Last edited by wonderkid; 15-10-2011 at 06:40 AM.
    Do not argue with an idiot.
    He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience...!!

  15. #15
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    Inform your husband as soon as possible..... Its always better that you tell him about the incidence rather than him learning about it from outside....


    If this horny b@stard constantly pushes it, just slap him in front of whole staff.....let his reputation get destroyed...Being woman u have an added advantage....people always think this way "If a man slaps a woman, he's rude...and if a woman slaps a man, its man who might have misbehaved"....So its win win situation for u....

    And last but not the least, if u think u can't handle it anymore, change your job... Dignity is after all more important than career or money....

    Be strong, Take care.........
    Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
    For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all.

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