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Thread: My GF has changed completely

  1. #1
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    Default My GF has changed completely

    I want to express my deep concern over the developments taking place in my life. I fell in love with my GF 2 yrs. ago & ever since we had a very strong bonding along with proper understanding between us. Since beginning, she has been an open-minded person with her own identity......something which made me fall in love with her & to commit marriage to her.

    But serious problems began to pop up around 6 months ago when her behaviour started changing gradually. She became more of an over-possessive GF with no focus on her career. He started supervising all my activities (from visiting social networking sites to checking my mobile details) which is making me feel suffocated. She doesn’t allow me to make any plans with any of my friends or colleagues. She actually believes in "U, Me & none else" philosophy now. But this is no way to live life. Sadly, I have lost my friend circle & all my social contacts. Even worse, I am losing focus on my job also since she bothers me frequently in office over the phone. She doesn’t even allow me to make official tours also. I feel as if I m deep stuck.

    Today, she has become a total burden on my life which is why I can’t think anything freely today. Bcoz of the above, I’ve started to re-think my decision to marry her as I can’t live like this after marriage. To solve this, I've tried to discuss things with her couple of times but those discussions have always ended in Emotional Atyachars with the usual crying & weeping scenes.

    I don’t know how 2 escape from this bcoz I can’t leave her also & I can’t live with her like this also.........Request you to PLSSS save me.


    Show me a way........PLSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssss

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi!

    Look, the thing is that things are not working out between you and its causing you angst and disappointment. So, yes, you can take stock of the situation and see in which direction its headed. Try and detach yourself from the situation and work it out in your head before you take a decision about anything.

  3. #3
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    Hi friend!!

    yes it is very big problem. women especially behave this way.

    i think by giving in to her demands in the very beginning slowly you yourself has handed over control to her.

    without getting in guilt , talk to her & explain how everyone is important,& also that she is important. one cannot lead life like that.& if she begins weeping, dont give in,give her sometime to think about it. leave her alone for a while. let her think & sort the issue. problem is in herself. she needs to think in depth & sort it.stick to ur point. explain gently but firmly.

    good luck.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  4. #4
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    Well thats character clashes... she has too much of the fear to lose you thats why she behaves like this... well.. might really difficult to explain her directly because of emotional scenes..

    Look one way to do moral with someone is to pass the message indirectly... Hmmm try ask someone, a friend of her(would be most appropriate), who can try try talk to her make make her aware that space is very important otherwise relationship might break....

    But this should not be made as if the matter is her situation... but a general discussion of relationship management whereby this msg is passed... or even falsely say it that a friend experienced a break because of this and later realised that giving space was important...

    Tried this, it worked for some people, for some it doesnt work.. the idea is human nature, when you tell her she should give space, she wont accept it as truth.. but when someone else who pretend to be an experienced person in this field make her understand that it is obvious one can lose a relationship because of stupid acts this have an effect!! but this should be done wisely..if not it will not be effective!

    see if you can try this...if it works then good for you.. if not then try other solution!!

  5. #5
    Hum Banarasi.......... Colonel Ankhi_sena_mun's Avatar
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    Try to find out why she is so insecure with you now when she wasnt so before........ may be some parental or family revelations have caused this...... Find out what they are then make a plan to show her there is no need to have similar insecurity about you......
    Shaam-e-Avadh is very tiring

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    SB Guru Major sandyonline's Avatar
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    "Ladki ke liye dost ko chhod diya"........aaj kal aise hi dialouge sunne ko milte honge.


    Now u r confused about the future of ur relation, Earlier she was confused but now she made her mind to spend rest of her life with u, so she started focussing on you and ur activities.

    jokes apart

    Tell her the way she is behaving now days is not right, and she has to give space to you to let u live ur life in ur style.

  7. #7
    New Born blackfire's Avatar
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    well bro that is a complicated relationship.since it is a two years relationship i suggest you to try to make her understand your point of view one last time and try to make her understand that she is getting over possessive, if her parents know about your relationship then it is wise to include them in your discussion. if everything is sorted out than it is OK otherwise breakup with her.

  8. #8
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    You have been giving in her 'emotional atyachaars' every time, which was not the right thing to do. You are not doing anything wrong, so why is she holding you back? Stay firm on your stand and speak to her firmly but politely why is she feeling so insecure about you. Its best to clear your misunderstandings before you go for marriage.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
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  9. #9
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    Default Hello there

    What you really need to know is that being strong in tis type of relationship is mandatory. If she is being like that you really need to put all the emotional things out of this and tell her streaight that you are not happy with her behaviour I know that she will be upset but you need to be strong and stand for yourself. I am not telling you to break up with her but at this poing of your relationship both you need to distence yourselves a bit and the time will tell you what to do next.


    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I want to express my deep concern over the developments taking place in my life. I fell in love with my GF 2 yrs. ago & ever since we had a very strong bonding along with proper understanding between us. Since beginning, she has been an open-minded person with her own identity......something which made me fall in love with her & to commit marriage to her.

    But serious problems began to pop up around 6 months ago when her behaviour started changing gradually. She became more of an over-possessive GF with no focus on her career. He started supervising all my activities (from visiting social networking sites to checking my mobile details) which is making me feel suffocated. She doesn’t allow me to make any plans with any of my friends or colleagues. She actually believes in "U, Me & none else" philosophy now. But this is no way to live life. Sadly, I have lost my friend circle & all my social contacts. Even worse, I am losing focus on my job also since she bothers me frequently in office over the phone. She doesn’t even allow me to make official tours also. I feel as if I m deep stuck.

    Today, she has become a total burden on my life which is why I can’t think anything freely today. Bcoz of the above, I’ve started to re-think my decision to marry her as I can’t live like this after marriage. To solve this, I've tried to discuss things with her couple of times but those discussions have always ended in Emotional Atyachars with the usual crying & weeping scenes.

    I don’t know how 2 escape from this bcoz I can’t leave her also & I can’t live with her like this also.........Request you to PLSSS save me.


    Show me a way........PLSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssss

  10. #10
    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
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    your prob is indeed serious as your gf is either nt telling the reasons for her behaviour and evn she is creating a havoc for u by telling u to do this or to do tht like thr is no space left in this relationship.........

    talk to her and tell her tht u both r going to be in a lifelong relationship marriage and if she wud nt behave well and wud remain like this then u hv to reconsider your decision coz there is no point in spoiling your life wid yor own hands......

    if she understands and changes for well then fine and if she still doesnt gets your point then its upto u to take a decision rather than moving in a direction tht may hurt u.
    Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep
    you forever -

  11. #11
    DIVIDED WE FALL !! Brigadier General adirocksit's Avatar
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    take a break both of u from each other......for a week maybe...just a break...not a break up.....tell her you need time to think about this relationship.....

    Relationship is like a job....and you need a vacation....so that you're fresh afterwards..
    In this week, you would know yourself if you want to marry her or not and probably she wud too....so just take a break !!
    I'm in love with your body
    I'm in love with the Shape of You



  12. #12
    Young Gun bestfriendavinash's Avatar
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    You reminded me the movie "Pyar Ka Panchnama"...

    I'm agree that no one can live like this... There is one probablity of back feeding to her..

    Why dont you make her feel what you feel... means try do same thing what she does with you... ask your friend/brother to call her,,, then ask about the call with a little doubt in your eyes... further try to be more and more possesive...

    Let her say that she cant live this way...


    I know this is not the right way to solve your problems... but the right ways has already been blocked by tears ...

    One personal advise... being possive indicates that she care about... you need to convince her that she will never loose you... and she may allow you more space


    Best of Luck

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