Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 21

Thread: Mummy causing trouble

  1. #1
    Unregistered
    Guest

    Default Mummy causing trouble

    Hello Ma'am. First of all i would really like to thank you for all your very helpful advice..Ma'am i am in a real stressed out state rite now,n i really don't know what to do. I have a girlfriend whom i love a lotttt..more than nething in this world. The problem is she is very poor and not even well educated. Her dad had expired when she was very young so she had to quit her education in a very young age, and what ever they own rite now is all hard earned money by my gf and her sisters..they have really worked very hard to get wer they are rite now. Currently they run a beauty parlor which is going pretty good. My problem is, a month back i told my mom about my gf, and at that time she reacted a bit normal. But as days passed by she started to get gather infos about her from ppl. (i dont know her sources) What ever des ppl told my mom, is completely opposite to how my gf is. Des sources of her actually degraded my gf and told all wrong and bad things to mom about my gf. and now mom is strctly agnst our relationship. I know how my gf is. and she is not at all how ppl have portrayed her to my mom. now my mom is almost torturing me to cum out of this rltionshp. I really love my gf and i cant leave her at ne cost and i even dont want to c my mom in stress..i dont know wat to do...please please help me out hr..I tell you ma'am, my gf is very very honest and a very very decent girl. even she is very upst wen she hrd that ppl have told all wrng things to my mom about her. Please help ma'am plsss....

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    61,027
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    Hmmm...OK, this is a bit of an issue because once an impression is formed, its hard to erase it you know. All you can do is to keep trying to convince your mom about what you know about this girl whom you like. Don't push it too hard. You don't want to make your mother adament, but slowly and firmly, just hang in there. you cannot expect any overnight changes but a slow perseverence may do the trick!

  3. #3
    :: The Zenith :: Lieutenant-Colonel
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    9,818
    Rep Power
    72

    Default

    Well I m in a similar situation too! What I do is that I try and counter each allegation made about my girl to my mom. When others say something to my mom abt my GF they say it based on some specific logic or incident and I simply try to counter that logic or explain that particular incident to my mom and clarify things out. At times I succeed and at times I dont (after all my mom is a woman and you know how hard it is to convince this specie called 'woman' ).
    I think u gotta work in a similar fashion too.. Good luck

  4. #4
    SB Guru Lieutenant-Colonel
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    8,007
    Rep Power
    77

    Default

    Hi

    Mothers are by nature very protective...your mother is no different....she still thinks of you as a child who is not still old enough to distinguish between right and wrong....its time you stood up and prove that you are an adult...stand by your girlfriend and be the mediator between your mother and your girl friend....make effort that your mother gets to know your girl friend.... do not force on them being friends overnight but give them time to know each other...make your intentions clear to your mother...that you do see a future with this girl and she should give her a chance..if she does not want to loose her son too...


  5. #5
    SB Wizard Major PARYANS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Thane
    Posts
    4,138
    Rep Power
    70

    Default

    try to explore this to find out if ur mom is right or wrong.......look everyone who opposes us is not always wrong................she cares abt u..................confirm n then reconcile her

  6. #6
    Banned Colonel
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Resurrected !!!
    Posts
    13,795
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    The problem is she is very poor and not even well educated.

    To be poor is not a sin, but a mother always thinks about the well being of her child first. Poor means financially not sound. Mera baccha shaadi karega, uski aage ki life kya hogi? Pyaar se pet nahi bharta, aamdani ki zarurat hoti he, oopar se uski pita nahi he, and whatever it is, jinke pita nahi hote, especially for girls, they are seen as bin baap ke aulad, zara bigad jaate hain… that’s one more minus point for your girl.

    Her dad had expired

    she had to quit her education in a very young age.. toh zyaada padhi likkhi nahi hain, wat if in the future she needs a job to look after family, will she get a job, how much will it pay her, keeping in mind her educational qualification. Even if she gets married, will she ask that she wants to study and continue her education, aur uska kharcha bhi mere bet eke oopar aayega….

    her sisters.. sister hoti toh koi baat nah thi… yahan pe ek se zyaadaa sister hain, kahin unki shaadi ke kharche bhi mere bete ke sir ke oopar na aajaye…

    Currently they run a beauty parlor … ab beauty parlor mein kitni kamai hoti hain? Shenaz Hussain toh nahi hai na jo karodon mein kamaati hain…

    My problem is.. not what you think it is.. your problems are as you can see in BOLDED TEXT above!

    i told my mom about my gf, - she reacted a bit normal. Explain what is normal! By what it seems, normal is, haan haan bolke chupp rahi aapki mummy right? Rapat se bolti yaa ek kaan ke nicche deti tumhe to kaisa lagta? Shukar karo ki aise nahi kiya mummy ne.. Shaanth swabhav se suni na.. Your cheeks should be thankful for that!!!

    But as days passed by she started to get gather infos about her from ppl. This is jaasoosi.. kaun maa chup chaap baithegi? Thodi bahut investigation ki zarurat hogi na.. kya pata kal ko aake, shaadi karke.. ghar aake, unhi pe zor zabardasti na kardein (read on your mom)…. Teen chaar behen ko bhi ghar saath leke aagayi toh main kahan jaaoongi? Kaise bhi mann phuslaake mere bhole bhaale bete ka jaise ki ussne abhi ki hai, mujhe hi apne ghar se mere bete ke haatho na nikalwaadein… Issliye investigation karwahi mummyjee ne

    (i dont know her sources) You will never !!!

    What ever des ppl told my mom, is completely opposite to how my gf is. …Its not opposite, its just nonapproval signs.


    Des sources of her actually degraded my gf and told all wrong and bad things to mom about my gf. I doubt this seriously. It’s the concern of your mother, nothing more than that.

    mom is strctly agnst our relationship… yeh toh hona hi tha….

    I know how my gf is. and she is not at all how ppl have portrayed her to my mom. But have you thought about all this from your mother’s point of view????

    Mom is almost torturing me to cum out of this rltionshp…. Very good…. Come up in life… Be something yourself. Then no need to ask your mom. Your mom herself will tell… jaa beta jee le apni zindagi, lekin iss budiya maa ko mat booljaana…

    Sirf pyaar karoge toh kuch nahi milega… Be someone in life which you yourself will be proud of, which your GF will be proud of, which your mom will be proud of, then go for GF etc.

    Pyaar GF, tension leneke tumhari umr nahi he. Concentrate on your career.

    Along with this, ask your GF to come up in life, she has got many responsibilities, and am sure if she joins hands with you, still she would have to continue supporting her sisters, father etc..

    Whatever I have said above are all practical things without which life is a big zero.

    What you are telling is emotional. Come out of emotions, be practical. I don’t say being emotional is wrong, but not at this tender age.


    All the best

    PS: TO ALL THE ASPIRING PREM’S AND PREM KI DIWANI’S OUT THERE… Pyaar kiya toh darna kya se pehle itna zarrror sochna… Jisne tumhe paida kiya unko bhoolke ya phir unko nazarandaaz karke koi decision mat lena.. Aakhir aapke maa baap jo tumse kartien hain uska naam bhi PYAAR HI HAI!!!

  7. #7
    Young Gun
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    498
    Rep Power
    68

    Default

    See son if your old enough you have to bite the bullet and tell your mother that you can take care of your life on your own that is if you are steadily employed.See the problem in India is parents interfere too much in their kids lives and you have to break this trend.You have to choose between your GF and your mother.Remember ,Indian parents are more soft then they are hard if and when you choose your girl over your mother who trusts strangers other than her son she will be angry no doubt but once you all have a child of your own and she is a grand mother she will like all Indian parents forgive you and accept you and your girlfriend,but till then don't break the girl's heart.

  8. #8
    SB Champion Lieutenant
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    1,137
    Rep Power
    74

    Default

    Your mother is only disliking your gf because of other people. I mean I can sll all kinds of things about your gf and your mother will believe it. Listen tell your mother that all people want to do is gossip and that is all she should not believe them. This is bullshit, I am sorry but it is. What you need to is get your girlfriend spend some time with your mother like you know shopping and all that then she will know what the issue is. Believing others is not a good thing. Also, the most importent thing is that you are happy with your gf.

  9. #9
    Banned Colonel
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Resurrected !!!
    Posts
    13,795
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    So what happened? Any good news? Any news at all? Please tell. Hope you are reading this

  10. #10
    New Born shubhamshubham's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    60
    Rep Power
    55

    Default

    helo dear dis is a very stressfull condition for u...u may try nd sort out this with your mom.....u yourself can also look out if its really true or not widout telling this to your gf but don't keep any doubts in your mind before getting to any results nd after some enquiries lykk stuff u can den introduce your gf to your mom in-personnel so that she also gets to knoe abt her personnelyy. May be she will catch her better as she's an old lady wid a wide experience of ppl's reaction on various things So dont take too much stress nd try hard as this is a matter of your heart!!!! BEST OF LUCK

  11. #11
    New Born
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    6
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by hotfuntalk View Post
    The problem is she is very poor and not even well educated.

    To be poor is not a sin, but a mother always thinks about the well being of her child first. Poor means financially not sound. Mera baccha shaadi karega, uski aage ki life kya hogi? Pyaar se pet nahi bharta, aamdani ki zarurat hoti he, oopar se uski pita nahi he, and whatever it is, jinke pita nahi hote, especially for girls, they are seen as bin baap ke aulad, zara bigad jaate hain… that’s one more minus point for your girl.

    Her dad had expired

    she had to quit her education in a very young age.. toh zyaada padhi likkhi nahi hain, wat if in the future she needs a job to look after family, will she get a job, how much will it pay her, keeping in mind her educational qualification. Even if she gets married, will she ask that she wants to study and continue her education, aur uska kharcha bhi mere bet eke oopar aayega….

    her sisters.. sister hoti toh koi baat nah thi… yahan pe ek se zyaadaa sister hain, kahin unki shaadi ke kharche bhi mere bete ke sir ke oopar na aajaye…

    Currently they run a beauty parlor … ab beauty parlor mein kitni kamai hoti hain? Shenaz Hussain toh nahi hai na jo karodon mein kamaati hain…

    My problem is.. not what you think it is.. your problems are as you can see in BOLDED TEXT above!

    i told my mom about my gf, - she reacted a bit normal. Explain what is normal! By what it seems, normal is, haan haan bolke chupp rahi aapki mummy right? Rapat se bolti yaa ek kaan ke nicche deti tumhe to kaisa lagta? Shukar karo ki aise nahi kiya mummy ne.. Shaanth swabhav se suni na.. Your cheeks should be thankful for that!!!

    But as days passed by she started to get gather infos about her from ppl. This is jaasoosi.. kaun maa chup chaap baithegi? Thodi bahut investigation ki zarurat hogi na.. kya pata kal ko aake, shaadi karke.. ghar aake, unhi pe zor zabardasti na kardein (read on your mom)…. Teen chaar behen ko bhi ghar saath leke aagayi toh main kahan jaaoongi? Kaise bhi mann phuslaake mere bhole bhaale bete ka jaise ki ussne abhi ki hai, mujhe hi apne ghar se mere bete ke haatho na nikalwaadein… Issliye investigation karwahi mummyjee ne

    (i dont know her sources) You will never !!!

    What ever des ppl told my mom, is completely opposite to how my gf is. …Its not opposite, its just nonapproval signs.


    Des sources of her actually degraded my gf and told all wrong and bad things to mom about my gf. I doubt this seriously. It’s the concern of your mother, nothing more than that.

    mom is strctly agnst our relationship… yeh toh hona hi tha….

    I know how my gf is. and she is not at all how ppl have portrayed her to my mom. But have you thought about all this from your mother’s point of view????

    Mom is almost torturing me to cum out of this rltionshp…. Very good…. Come up in life… Be something yourself. Then no need to ask your mom. Your mom herself will tell… jaa beta jee le apni zindagi, lekin iss budiya maa ko mat booljaana…

    Sirf pyaar karoge toh kuch nahi milega… Be someone in life which you yourself will be proud of, which your GF will be proud of, which your mom will be proud of, then go for GF etc.

    Pyaar GF, tension leneke tumhari umr nahi he. Concentrate on your career.

    Along with this, ask your GF to come up in life, she has got many responsibilities, and am sure if she joins hands with you, still she would have to continue supporting her sisters, father etc..

    Whatever I have said above are all practical things without which life is a big zero.

    What you are telling is emotional. Come out of emotions, be practical. I don’t say being emotional is wrong, but not at this tender age.


    All the best

    PS: TO ALL THE ASPIRING PREM’S AND PREM KI DIWANI’S OUT THERE… Pyaar kiya toh darna kya se pehle itna zarrror sochna… Jisne tumhe paida kiya unko bhoolke ya phir unko nazarandaaz karke koi decision mat lena.. Aakhir aapke maa baap jo tumse kartien hain uska naam bhi PYAAR HI HAI!!!
    See i have got some major problems with your suggestions..

    1. What you are saying would be applicable if the boy was poor..if i am not mistaken, i believe it is the men of the house who go out and earning their living to feed their and their family's stomach? Toh pet bharne ka kaam iska hai naa ki iski gf ka

    2. Really concerned about your contention that those girls who do not have fathers are spoilt. Yeh practical nahin hai...andvishwas hai ki pita jaroori hota hai bacchon ko, khaas kar beetiyon ko bigadne se rokne ke liye

    3. Another outdated thinking that you need to complete a degree in order to survive in life. According to what OP says, his gf is already employed and running a beauty parlor that is pretty good. So God forbid if it becomes necessary for her to work in future, i think there are lots of jobs that a person can do without the need for a degree

    4. I think the only area that could be termed as a genuine point of concern for his mother

    You say that he should be looking it from his mother's point of view...but what if that point of view is completely false and created by people who knowingly or unknowingly provided false information about his gf? As far as i can see, according to the OP, his mother has not met his gf...his mother has not gone and seen whether what her "sources" are telling is true. His mother is basing her whole behavior towards her son's gf based on info provided by others. Ohh and unless i am missing something...i dont think the OP has told you his age...so you have no idea how "tender" he is?

    For the OP...the best thing will be to tell your mother how exactly you feel about your gf...arrange a meeting between your mother and your gf. Make your mother tell what are her objections towards the match...so that your gf will be able to provide her version of the story...remember that there are always two versions to a story..but if your mother continues to be against this relationship, it is ultimately your call on what you want to do because you will have to choose either between your mother or your gf

  12. #12
    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    6,595
    Rep Power
    75

    Default

    well wat more u cn do rather than jst convincing your mom
    tht u truely love her and u see her only as your life partner n try to convince your mom
    tht watevr things people r talking are sheer nonsense and your gf is nt at all like this if posible
    make your mom calm by talking to her and nt angrily bt wid lov so tht your mom wuld at least give a thot
    to your thinking and after tht try to make your mom meet her and try to break the ice in between them by making them meet
    and make them talk to each othr so tht these misunderstanding will put to an end and they will knw each other,its difficult bt if u
    knw tht u r strongly into this relation then u will gv your shot for making it work also n dont say your mom creating trouble shes your mom she wants your well being.........u cnt b goin on wid your gf wen mom is nt accepting
    bt u hv to work out towords makiing your mom realize tht u lov your gf truely n thts nt posible untill u convince your mom peacefully.all the best.
    Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep
    you forever -

  13. #13
    ♡♥£☋¢Ǩ¥ ★☆★ ☾ћi¢Ҝ¥♥♡ Field Marshal sens's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    ★♥»★«♥★
    Posts
    103,295
    Rep Power
    100

    Default

    hii!!!

    before your mom could gather the info about her,you should have introduced her to your mom. taken her to mom, & also explained to mom why love her.

    it never too late.. explain to mom about her real nature.. & get her to meet u mom.
    all the best.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  14. #14
    Banned Colonel
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Resurrected !!!
    Posts
    13,795
    Rep Power
    0

    Default

    Hi..

    Perhaps you dint read responses to your queries. If you happen to anytime, just remember one thing.

    Any decision you take today WRT the above concerns that you have now, will change the course of your future. Once you take any decision, stick to it, for the rest of your life. There will be no turning back!

    Good luck.

  15. #15
    SB Wizard Major PARYANS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Thane
    Posts
    4,138
    Rep Power
    70

    Default

    What u do apart from loving this girl?

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 16
    Last Post: 05-07-2010, 02:37 PM
  2. My boyfriends ex girlfriend is causing trouble!!
    By addfatso in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 20-09-2009, 05:16 PM
  3. Break up causing too much pain
    By Unregistered in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 14-07-2009, 06:53 PM
  4. Misunderstanding is causing relationship trouble
    By amira in forum Ask Preeto / Agony Aunt
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 25-06-2009, 06:22 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •