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Thread: My girlfriend insecure. . . What to do?

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    Default My girlfriend insecure. . . What to do?

    I have a best friend turned girlfriend. Earlier I had some relationships and she knows about it. But this time I am really serious about her. But she always thinks that she is not beautiful andI would leave her in near future or I may start liking other girls. I tried many times to make her feel safe and secure but fail always. We share many things but this one is a sad factor. Pls help. What shall I say to her? Our relationship is long distance now. But I know her since school days.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, if you’ve known her since so long then you probably know her well, though I do agree that when a friend turns into a girlfriend, she is a changed person!
    Anyway, you need to keep telling her that you love and miss her. But at the same time, don’t allow her to do this insecure act on you too much. Its tiring and can strain the relationship. She will need to be a bit chilled out if she wants to have a healthy happy relationship with you .

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    Lord Sachinam Major PARYANS's Avatar
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    Considering your past history i think your gf is right.....................
    Can't imagine cricket without sachin

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    ~ Lazy girl ~ Captain wonderkid's Avatar
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    Well we all have pasts, and some of us go through a couple of failed relationships until we find the one who is right for us. I am guessing that maybe you are her first bf, hence she feels at odds with you. Am I right? It's normal to feel this way. Maybe if she also had past relationships, she wouldn't have felt so bad. Anyway, she needs some time. I am sure she loves you dearly, and would be a great partner to you. But she needs some time to digest and come to terms with this aspect of yours. She needs to observe (over a period of time) that you are indeed serious about her, so please be patient. I'm sure things will be alright after that.
    Last edited by wonderkid; 10-02-2012 at 09:04 AM.
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    Do you really love her???? With a cool mind ask your self. Do really see her has your future wife??? She is right being insecure because you had relationships in the past and they did not work out. She is your best friend and now your girlfirend she has 2 relationships with you, if you don't know. If you leave her then she will loose you both ways and it will be hard for both of you. So Give her little gifts and keep telling her that you really love her (only if you actually love her from the bottom of your heart).

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    ^^ Oxymoron ^^ Captain Anioba's Avatar
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    i agree with kish123.......
    just keep reassuring her that u'll b there 4 her,...
    teel her that she's the one.....
    Back again!! Missed all u guys.

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    ♡♥☋Ǩ ★☆★ ☾ћiҜ♥♡ Field Marshal sens's Avatar
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    shak ki beemari ka duniya me koi ilaaj nahi hota mere dost.
    well try not to care much about her nature.. do not discuss the insecurities.. when she does.. do not clarify yourself.. bas try to ignore that one topic. the more u console ,the more the doubt grows..

    instead just love her & always make her feel special... make sure that she should not feel neglected.


    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I have a best friend turned girlfriend. Earlier I had some relationships and she knows about it. But this time I am really serious about her. But she always thinks that she is not beautiful andI would leave her in near future or I may start liking other girls. I tried many times to make her feel safe and secure but fail always. We share many things but this one is a sad factor. Pls help. What shall I say to her? Our relationship is long distance now. But I know her since school days.
    Buddy,
    There is absolutely "Nothing" you can do here. Most Girls are that way. What you need to do is be "Very Patient" and listen to whatever she says and keep telling her how much you love her.

    Never say "I love you irrespective of your looks"
    Say "I love you and I find you incredibly beautiful"

    Girls Claim that they want their Men to love them for their nature, but actually, girls want the guy to find her beautiful and attractive. So, make her feel that her looks attract you and her outer beauty is one of the major reasons you are with her.

    Take that Advice bro.

    G'day
    I am not against Reservation.
    I want 100% Reservation for Merit

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    New Born USSSDR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I have a best friend turned girlfriend. Earlier I had some relationships and she knows about it. But this time I am really serious about her. But she always thinks that she is not beautiful andI would leave her in near future or I may start liking other girls. I tried many times to make her feel safe and secure but fail always. We share many things but this one is a sad factor. Pls help. What shall I say to her? Our relationship is long distance now. But I know her since school days.
    For me, sens gave the best reply.

    Her insecurity is mostly her issue and she needs to fix it herself. What you can do, however, is mend your actions so that you don't worsen her insecurity and also make yourself more trustworthy to her. She needs to find out the reasons for her feeling insecure and fix them herself. There is nothing else you can do about it.

    My friend, one other very important thing I forgot to add earlier is that this relationship is riskier for you than it is for her if she doesn't open her eyes and see the truth. If she thinks she is not beautiful and that you will leave her, she really doesn't have a very high opinion of herself or you. She doesn't have a lot of respect for herself or for you. She doesn't believe in herself or you. I hope I am very clear. If there is no respect in a relationship there will not be any love. If any other guy makes her feel more secure and more beautiful than you she will most probably leave you for him. Tell her she needs to find happiness within herself. If she is looking for it elsewhere chances are she is not going to find it.
    Last edited by USSSDR; 11-02-2012 at 04:36 PM. Reason: Forgot to add a few things earlier.

  10. #10
    New Born Chank4U's Avatar
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    Go by basics here... what a girl want? A lover who can love her by the unique and exciting ways, it doesn't matter what your past was if you are able to make her feel Complete with you. Are you that person who are able to give her all throughout? ask this to yourself 'coz of your previous relations what she's thinking about you (somewhere) is not absolutely wrong.. isn't it?

    So here i can suggest only one thing.. n that is , be patient and be calm, nurture her with your attentiveness and love. Be a completely new man for her, be more Expressive... do exclusive things for her.. make her your queen.
    ... be patient... be calm..
    and right now don't expect anything just give her what she deserve... the truth n love.

    perform some old ways to express..like write something for her, bring flowers, sing to her, cook for her.. her fav meal , be more of a kisser but less physical at this point(only do it if she wants it, don't rush ) .

    Obviously she wants a Great future with kids and you, so let her know this FACT.

    talk to her parents if they are cool with this. build your world around her.

    ...... be calm.... have patience...... don't expect yet...

    After all it's completely on her now to let you have her all... so have patience ... be calm.


    Now if you are ready to perform the above without having any second thought in your mind than am sure ... a woman, with a huge lovable and forgiving heart(they all have) , she's definitely will choose you over the world.

    But... Have patience ..... be calm.

    Good Luck(chuck)!


    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I have a best friend turned girlfriend. Earlier I had some relationships and she knows about it. But this time I am really serious about her. But she always thinks that she is not beautiful andI would leave her in near future or I may start liking other girls. I tried many times to make her feel safe and secure but fail always. We share many things but this one is a sad factor. Pls help. What shall I say to her? Our relationship is long distance now. But I know her since school days.
    Last edited by Chank4U; 11-02-2012 at 10:17 PM.

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    serious issue dear.............

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    Make her feel secure by doing simple things. Spend more quality time with her and show your commitment towards her. This should not be difficult if you are really into her.

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    SB Guru Major sonig's Avatar
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    okay if she knows abt your past coz she was your friend then wats the big deal
    if as a friend she knew tht u had relationships and she knew abt u well then if she was so insecure then
    why she stepped in a relationship of lov wid u?

    its jst tht she was your friend and who but she knows u the better way and more and she should hv to
    know this tht your relationship hv gone a level up from friendship to being in lov and if u had a past then thts past
    if she loves u then she should know better wat a word TRUST means.......
    u shouldnt hv to think this way tht she is insecure coz of your past bt its tht she should hv to trust u coz she knows u more better and loves u
    simple.....its jst she hv to develop a better more understanding n trust thts it.
    Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep
    you forever -

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    ✿♥ mesmerized♥✿ Lieutenant-Colonel imeggz_leoness's Avatar
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    send her gifts!
    call her more often!
    in short u have 2 make her sure.. that u r serious!
    Got new samsung galaxy grand 2 on my wedding ani.

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    New Born deshiboy's Avatar
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    Wowwwwww man. It is a miracle bro. You have a girlfriend who really thinks that she is not beautiful. I think you should take cre of her for whole life, becuase she is very unique girl of all time.

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