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Thread: Want to get married to a married girl

  1. #1
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    Unhappy Want to get married to a married girl

    Dear mam,
    I asked you solution to my problem earlier also but unfortunately it did not get published.

    Any ways, hope to get this published and to get solution to my question.

    I am married since last 4years ....my wife had drinking habits and smokes a lot...recently i discovered of having her affair with other guy....I was tolerating her smoking and drinking habits since more than 3 years but having affair and outgoing attitude to gel with others and trying to be touchy all the times is not tolerable for me....Now my family is also involved in this and i want divorce... On the other hand at this phase of life at the exact time I met other girl who is also married and is not happy with her husband as her husband was physically abusing her and she got married forcibly when she was of 18...now she is of 23 years and they both do not live together as she was studying and doing job here (her husband lives in chandigarh and she is right now in bangalore)....

    now we both want to get married as we both love each other alot but we are afraid that her husband will not give her divorce as he is illiterate and like road side "gunda mavali" who just needs her just to physically use her and to get money from her.. she cant even force that guy to divorce as her family is involved and her family is saying ke jo he jaise he waise chalav...tumne hi choice kiya tha...ab chahe woh mare ya physically sosan kare..tumhe chalana hoga....

    She once was against her parents and married that guy...her family accepted her one mistake now she cant go against her family for the second time...

    Tell us the ways by which we can be together??? what if that guy does not give her divorce?? can we be able to live together without marrying each other??? or I dont know what to do and what to ask....

    Please I want that girl badly and she also wants me..........please suggest me something by which we can be together forever...

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Complications galore!

    To be together, you need a divorce; she needs a divorce and you (may) need to get married. Basically, you'd better hire some lawyers if you really want to betogether. Let me warn you that the time ahead will not be very pleasant- family pressures, stress, tears and trauma will happen around you. Still, if you are determined on this course, then better do it legally.

  3. #3
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    HIii!!!


    u cannot marry her without her divorcing her husband. she should stop caring about family. & file a divorce case & get divorce from her husband. what is the sue of such husband>?? & parents are not leading her life. she is ruining her own life.

    then u get divorce from ur wife. & then both of u can marry.

    i hope u people are not finding fault with ur spouses just coz u both wanna get maried. if ur reasons are genuine... then go ahead, divorce .



    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  4. #4
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    Hello,
    I completely agree with Preeto Maam. There is no way of getting married before both of you get divorce from your respective partners. But before that, there is one more thing I would like to suggest you. The relations made in extreme conditions doesn’t really last long! I mean, you and the lady are emotionally attached to each other because of sympathy for each other since you are having trouble with your wife and her husband keep abusing her. People often forget to look at the other side of the coin in such situations. I mean, before you take any decision, please ensure that you will lead a happy life in future with that lady. Please make sure that both of u are intellectually matching each other. Make sure your nature matches since it is very important for a healthy relationship. Many other things are there which most of us often ignore especially when a relation ship comes into existence in panic situations.
    Also, I hope you have solid proof and are very much sure that your wife is having an extra marital affair. And I really hope that you are not doing this just because you have started loving that other lady.
    Also, why don’t you try once speaking to your wife and sorting the things? Try to save your marriage instead of breaking it. Try to talk to her, explain her that she is ruining her own life and also ask some elder to help you out in this. Please ignore if you have already tried!

    Best of Luck.

  5. #5
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    I believe you have tried every possible way to save your marriage but none of that has worked. Its ok then that you want divorce as no one would tolerate such behavior from his wife. About the other girl, if she went against her parents once for that jerk, she can surely do that again for you. Its really tormenting to see her parent's ignorant attitude towards her. She must realize her that her future with that guy is horrible and she can be happy with you and to make that happen, she must make her own decisions. Stand with her in making these hard decisions as her decisions will decide her future.
    The problem with internet quotes is that you can't trust their authenticity.
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  6. #6
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    Bahut acche...

    Martin baba says:

    According to the book of Ideology of Martin baba page 533;

    Shaadi karo ek baar toh kaise bhi karke adjust karlo ek doosre ke saath.


    Adjust karna padta he. Adjust hota nahi bolke ek doosre se mooh pherle toh uska naam zindagai nahi kabaadkhaana banjaati he.

    Ab practical advice:

    Yeh toh US ya anya European country nahi ki divorce sabhi itni aasani se miljaaye.

    EK baar court ghuse toh saalo lagjaate hain bahar nikalte nikalte.

    Itni magchmaari kaiku?


    Teri biwi jo bhi he jaise bhi he teri biwi toh he.


    Jab aurat apne bevde pati se adjust karleti he toh tu kyon adjust nahi karsakta?

    Adjust karlo.


    Agar attraction ki baat jo tum kehrahe ho, waisa mat karo.

    Pehlese tera shaaadi hoke itna drama chalraha he. Aur jhanjat mein mat phasso.

    Tu apni zindagi dekh, uss ladki ki nahi.


    If you do not like this advice kindly revert back.

    All the best till then.


    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Dear mam,
    I asked you solution to my problem earlier also but unfortunately it did not get published.

    Any ways, hope to get this published and to get solution to my question.

    I am married since last 4years ....my wife had drinking habits and smokes a lot...recently i discovered of having her affair with other guy....I was tolerating her smoking and drinking habits since more than 3 years but having affair and outgoing attitude to gel with others and trying to be touchy all the times is not tolerable for me....Now my family is also involved in this and i want divorce... On the other hand at this phase of life at the exact time I met other girl who is also married and is not happy with her husband as her husband was physically abusing her and she got married forcibly when she was of 18...now she is of 23 years and they both do not live together as she was studying and doing job here (her husband lives in chandigarh and she is right now in bangalore)....

    now we both want to get married as we both love each other alot but we are afraid that her husband will not give her divorce as he is illiterate and like road side "gunda mavali" who just needs her just to physically use her and to get money from her.. she cant even force that guy to divorce as her family is involved and her family is saying ke jo he jaise he waise chalav...tumne hi choice kiya tha...ab chahe woh mare ya physically sosan kare..tumhe chalana hoga....

    She once was against her parents and married that guy...her family accepted her one mistake now she cant go against her family for the second time...

    Tell us the ways by which we can be together??? what if that guy does not give her divorce?? can we be able to live together without marrying each other??? or I dont know what to do and what to ask....

    Please I want that girl badly and she also wants me..........please suggest me something by which we can be together forever...

  7. #7
    Young Gun
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    in your case, divorce will not be a problem. hire a lawyer and divorce will not be a problem.

  8. #8
    Young Gun ickon2004's Avatar
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    well the girls family looks out to be having old , outdated type of thinking , so avoid what her parents are saying, moreover she is earning , she is standing on her feet , and mistakes happen in life , after all we are human beings, mistakes happen from human beings only .... and tell her take divorce lightly , positively... its ok , the relationship with her husband is not working and that's why they planned to seprate , so its ok , its in our society , it has became our belief to look divorce in bad way as if some very wrong had happened instead look in positive way , both arent able to keep the relationship working so they are separating .
    Tell her to take advice of Good divorce lawyer and get separated legally , go by law , then u both can get married and stay happily , if both are happy with each other go a head , do it , Best of luck , God bless u both..... if her husband tries to trouble take help of police , police will handle him nicely , don't worry for every problem there is solution , u just need to find that.

  9. #9
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    First of all don't live together without getting married. Yes she has a right since she can file a divorce and say that he has abused her and used her in a sexuall way. She has made a mistake and she has to admitt that but she was not aware that her husband will be like that afterwords. So have her goto a good lawyer and then she can work it from there. Her family needs to understand that she made a BIG mistake and she is a human. Try to giver her a second chance, what she did was wrong by not listening to them but I think that she has learned her lesson and it is time for her to be out of it.

  10. #10
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your valuable comments.

    I started this thread as unregistered. Finally, I am happy to share my loving moments with you all.

    We both are now divorced. Girls parents agreed for her divorce and like a magic god created a situation wherein her parents chose me for her second marriage. Whole plot of getting myself involved into her family was successful.

    We will get married in couple of months.. Engagement already took place in march..

    Thank you so much...

  11. #11
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    oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................

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