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Thread: Confused about how to convince him

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    Default Confused about how to convince him

    Maam i am almost a regular reader of the forum since 1 month. I want to share my problem, i wrote it earlier a week back but it did not get published. Maam i am a 23 year old girl Shreya from Mussorie. Maam the thing is that i was in a loving long distance relationship with a about 2.5 years back. We dated for almost 1.5 years. But during our relationship time i met with another guy from my college and i started to see him.

    Though i never knew its seriousness of the consequences, we roamed around, visited parks , shows , movies and hangouts and dinner but never got physical in any manner. But i dated him too and i know it was wrong. During a movie he tried to kiss me on and that time i realized what i was doing and i was cheating my boyfriend. I left him there and threw him away off and came out. He also debated that why i behaved this way and then i said i can not cheat my bf like this way. I really felt bad that day and wanted to say all this to the man i loved.

    Before i could confess it to him that moron guy told all to him and my love broke up with me. I said sorry infinite times. Went to his city to convince him but he was not to be melted. Since then it has been 2 years and 6 months almost that i am trying to say sorry and patch up. I love him a lot and my love is all honest and i have never dated any one apart from him . I want to marry him be his wife and mother of his children. I need a family from him.

    I love him truly. I went to his state almost a dozen times since that time but he remains adamant and does not change his stance. I dream about us a lot and want to be again. Maam suggest me to how to say sorry , though i have tried all tricks. I love him even more today then i ever did him.

    Pls. give me sugesstions to get him in my life .

  2. #2
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    Say sorry.

    Mean it.

    Then wait.

    See what he says.

    Tell what he said in return of your sorry, here again.

    Then I tell you what to do.

    Good luck.
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Maam i am almost a regular reader of the forum since 1 month. I want to share my problem, i wrote it earlier a week back but it did not get published. Maam i am a 23 year old girl Shreya from Mussorie. Maam the thing is that i was in a loving long distance relationship with a about 2.5 years back. We dated for almost 1.5 years. But during our relationship time i met with another guy from my college and i started to see him.

    Though i never knew its seriousness of the consequences, we roamed around, visited parks , shows , movies and hangouts and dinner but never got physical in any manner. But i dated him too and i know it was wrong. During a movie he tried to kiss me on and that time i realized what i was doing and i was cheating my boyfriend. I left him there and threw him away off and came out. He also debated that why i behaved this way and then i said i can not cheat my bf like this way. I really felt bad that day and wanted to say all this to the man i loved.

    Before i could confess it to him that moron guy told all to him and my love broke up with me. I said sorry infinite times. Went to his city to convince him but he was not to be melted. Since then it has been 2 years and 6 months almost that i am trying to say sorry and patch up. I love him a lot and my love is all honest and i have never dated any one apart from him . I want to marry him be his wife and mother of his children. I need a family from him.

    I love him truly. I went to his state almost a dozen times since that time but he remains adamant and does not change his stance. I dream about us a lot and want to be again. Maam suggest me to how to say sorry , though i have tried all tricks. I love him even more today then i ever did him.

    Pls. give me sugesstions to get him in my life .

  3. #3
    - WilDChilD - Major General najis's Avatar
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    If he truly loves you, he will melt down soon enough. So mean while you keep contact with him like you did before.
    Behind Every Successful Man There's A Women. That's Because Women Never Run After Men Who Don't Succeed!

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    Roamed around, visited parks, went to movies, hung out, had dinner??? And you're saying that it wasn't serious? Anyway once trust is broken, there is really not much left to base your relationship on. Even if you didn't get physical in any manner with the other guy, you did cheat your long distance bf. If your long-distance bf went roaming with another girl in your absence, how would you have felt? Would you have felt ok with it, even if he apologised 100 times?
    I'm sorry, but you really should have thought what you were doing. And the mere fact that you went on those dates without your bf's knowledge, shows that deep inside you knew that you were breaking his trust in some way. No use confessing later. Would you have been able to inform your bf and obtain his permission before going out on those dates with that so-called moron? No, right?

    I understand your desires and dreams with regards to being his wife and all, but the ball isn't in your court anymore. You can't get everything as you want, whenever you want. It's entirely his choice if he can forgive you and trust you again. But if he cannot, then also it's perfectly fine. It has been 2.5 years since you broke up, so it's obvious that there's very little hope. He has moved on, and it's best if you do too. He's not comfortable with you anymore, and I can totally understand. Your continuous attempts to apologise and patch up is only creating a disturbance in his life, and will only irritate and embitter him more and more. So now it's time to stop it and let him breathe. You've tried enough times. I hope you have learned your lesson, and will apply it next time.
    Last edited by wonderkid; 03-07-2012 at 01:59 AM.
    Do not argue with an idiot.
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    hi girl,

    seems like u messed up a perfect love life... Your guy is seriously angry from what you say. Some people dont forgive & forget easily. You ahve done your part. Now waiting for him life long is not easy.

    You learn a lesson from this, next time when u fall in love be loyal.. this is all you can do. nothing more..
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    Di i know i made a mistake...and i realize it and i know i was so much wrong in cheating him....but i never had intentions of enjoying and cheating him.......it all happened and i was just enjoying it........i never really realized it was cheating but somewhere i knew i was wrong and i realized it when he tried to kiss me and i said why and he said we are a couple. Di that day i got awakening call ............di please just wish that i get along with him........and please suggest what 1 thing i can do to get him.........i want to be his wife and want a marriage from him
    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    Roamed around, visited parks, went to movies, hung out, had dinner??? And you're saying that it wasn't serious? Anyway once trust is broken, there is really not much left to base your relationship on. Even if you didn't get physical in any manner with the other guy, you did cheat your long distance bf. If your long-distance bf went roaming with another girl in your absence, how would you have felt? Would you have felt ok with it, even if he apologised 100 times?
    I'm sorry, but you really should have thought what you were doing. And the mere fact that you went on those dates without your bf's knowledge, shows that deep inside you knew that you were breaking his trust in some way. No use confessing later. Would you have been able to inform your bf and obtain his permission before going out on those dates with that so-called moron? No, right?

    I understand your desires and dreams with regards to being his wife and all, but the ball isn't in your court anymore. You can't get everything as you want, whenever you want. It's entirely his choice if he can forgive you and trust you again. But if he cannot, then also it's perfectly fine. It has been 2.5 years since you broke up, so it's obvious that there's very little hope. He has moved on, and it's best if you do too. He's not comfortable with you anymore, and I can totally understand. Your continuous attempts to apologise and patch up is only creating a disturbance in his life, and will only irritate and embitter him more and more. So now it's time to stop it and let him breathe. You've tried enough times. I hope you have learned your lesson, and will apply it next time.

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    I do not want to fall in love again sens.....i want to be with this man always all my life......you all are taking me as a cheater.......please that was one part of me........i love him deeply and i promise i will be a honest girl for him all my life....... everyone gets second chance......i also need one........dont you think i just deserve 1 more chance........just 1 to prove my love and honesty for him. i have not seen any guy dated any one since these many years despite being told to by my friends........i just cant move on like this.......please you also just suggest what can i do to save my relationship and i can do any thing for it......
    Quote Originally Posted by sens View Post

    hi girl,

    seems like u messed up a perfect love life... Your guy is seriously angry from what you say. Some people dont forgive & forget easily. You ahve done your part. Now waiting for him life long is not easy.

    You learn a lesson from this, next time when u fall in love be loyal.. this is all you can do. nothing more..

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    Quote Originally Posted by In Love View Post
    Di i know i made a mistake...and i realize it and i know i was so much wrong in cheating him....but i never had intentions of enjoying and cheating him.......it all happened and i was just enjoying it........i never really realized it was cheating but somewhere i knew i was wrong and i realized it when he tried to kiss me and i said why and he said we are a couple. Di that day i got awakening call ............di please just wish that i get along with him........and please suggest what 1 thing i can do to get him.........i want to be his wife and want a marriage from him
    Yes, you really cannot blame that other guy for trying to kiss you. You had led him on and taken it quite far. Only couples go out on such dates. Anyway, you may have realised your mistake, but as I said earlier, it is now entirely your ex-bf's choice whether he wants to take you back or not. I'd like to repeat that once you break someone's trust, most often nothing is ever the same again. It takes years to build trust, and seconds to lose it! In most cases it becomes next to impossible to gain that trust back. Most often we just get one chance at things. We don't get 2nd chance that often.

    Dear, I would of course wish that you get what your heart desires, but seldom do we get what we want! It's not just about you here. Your ex bf also has a heart, a mind, self-respect, ideals etc. If he cannot give you a 2nd chance, then what can be done? He's truly embittered, and permanently too. It's his decision, and you cannot impose your will onto him. You will have to move on and accept that it's just not meant to be. But like I said, surely you have learned your lesson, so apply it to your next relationship.
    Last edited by wonderkid; 03-07-2012 at 11:19 AM.
    Do not argue with an idiot.
    He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience...!!

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    Do you deserve him? Do you think he deserves a cheater again in his life. Are you worth him ? there can be many questions but you have cheated him , and once a cheater is always a cheater. Sorry to say like this but we are here to give honest answers and you need to grow up and concentrate on your education and life and leave him for good. Let him move on with an honest partner and you also never repeat it. He clearly seems to be having no interest in you at all.

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    di i want ki mujhe next relationship na dekhne ko mile.....i want this man only........and i know hurt kia hai but i love him a lot also......wish to change his mental block that i am not good for him
    Quote Originally Posted by wonderkid View Post
    Yes, you really cannot blame that other guy for trying to kiss you. You had led him on and taken it quite far. Only couples go out on such dates. Anyway, you may have realised your mistake, but as I said earlier, it is now entirely your ex-bf's choice whether he wants to take you back or not. I'd like to repeat that once you break someone's trust, most often nothing is ever the same again. It takes years to build trust, and seconds to lose it! In most cases it becomes next to impossible to gain that trust back. Most often we just get one chance at things. We don't get 2nd chance that often.

    Dear, I would of course wish that you get what your heart desires, but seldom do we get what we want! It's not just about you here. Your ex bf also has a heart, a mind, self-respect, ideals etc. If he cannot give you a 2nd chance, then what can be done? He's truly embittered, and permanently too. It's his decision, and you cannot impose your will onto him. You will have to move on and accept that it's just not meant to be. But like I said, surely you have learned your lesson, so apply it to your next relationship.

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    Thanks a ton Thank You for your kind words....but sir i am not a cheater any more.....i made a mistake but have realized... your kind words hurt me because i have changed myself and my doings. I have also done a lot of good things for him in my life but i have not written them because i am not here to praise myself but just to discuss one problem. I bet you i am not always a cheater type of person. I love this man a lot.......for him i have almost stopped talking to any guy in my work place and please believe me all please i can be his honest partner.....please suggest me ways to have him back........i have not made this thread to listen that i am cheater........that is my past please.......
    Quote Originally Posted by Thank You View Post
    Do you deserve him? Do you think he deserves a cheater again in his life. Are you worth him ? there can be many questions but you have cheated him , and once a cheater is always a cheater. Sorry to say like this but we are here to give honest answers and you need to grow up and concentrate on your education and life and leave him for good. Let him move on with an honest partner and you also never repeat it. He clearly seems to be having no interest in you at all.

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    Hope Springs Eternal.... Brigadier General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    As per me, the guy has moved on and so should you. There's no point in dragging a one sided relationship. I understand it will be difficult for you to let him go but will you cry for him the whole life? You saw what happens when we do wrong things, knowingly or unknowingly. I hope you have said a serious sorry to him. So just try to forget him, time is a great healer, it will heal all your wounds. That will help you in the long run. In future, dont break anyone's trust.
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    Ok, I guess you are trying to convince him from past one year by going to his place and writing him all the messages... See it's dependent on him, if he agrees to you or not. I would say that ki ismein koi jabardasti nahi hoti. Just keep trying your level best and hope for the best. But still after like 6 months, he is still not convinced then again come back here i will give you next suggestion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by In Love View Post
    di i want ki mujhe next relationship na dekhne ko mile.....i want this man only........and i know hurt kia hai but i love him a lot also......wish to change his mental block that i am not good for him
    Arrey but we're not magicians that we can do some magic on that guy and change his mind and heart. It is beyond our ability to achieve what you're wanting. He is not the only guy in the world. You should move on. You hardly have a choice here. See, this is what happens when we take our lover for granted... when we take our partner's true love and trust for granted. This is bitter truth, my friend! Once you lose someone's trust, no matter what you do, it becomes next to impossible to regain it.
    Nonetheless, you must try to get out of this pain. I think you should take the help of some counsellor or therapist, to help you get over this guy and realise that there is a whole world out there, beyond him. That is the only way now, if you cannot get over him by yourself.
    Last edited by wonderkid; 04-07-2012 at 05:26 AM.
    Do not argue with an idiot.
    He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience...!!

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    oye mohtarma.. accept that you made a mistake. Accept it fully. And let him go..
    You've said sorry, and its been long long time. You can't force your love/apology/care on anyone.

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