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Thread: Jokes & Humour Corner

  1. #1
    New Born Funny Guy's Avatar
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    Default Women

    Well why Women r called Women.............any ideas.....
    may be because they woos the men........

  2. #2
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    Default surely...

    .......surely a good derivation Funny Guy.. But jump over to your the LN Mittal thread. he is looking for a good accounts over who can handle all the money he has earned. Care to suggest him a name...........
    san

  3. #3
    SB Addict his_xlnc's Avatar
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    Default Jokes & Humour Corner

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  4. #4
    SB Addict his_xlnc's Avatar
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    Default The Dead Punjab 1947


  5. #5
    SB MahaGuru Colonel gors1's Avatar
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    Default Did u know That?

    Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that
    person?

    Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart are real weak
    and most susceptible?

    Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones
    that really need some one to protect them?

    Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:

    "I love you, Sorry and help me"


    Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

    Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their
    beauty?

    Did you know that those who dress in black are those who want to be
    unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

    Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?


    Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying
    it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you
    say it to their face?

    Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more
    valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?


    Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love,
    becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you
    really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.

    gors

  6. #6
    SB Wizard saleem's Avatar
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    Default Reason for not drinking with friends




  7. #7
    SB Addict his_xlnc's Avatar
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    Default Things which girls should know--Part 1 !!

    1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

    2. Guys hate flirts.

    3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

    4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

    5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

    6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

    7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

    8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

    9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

    10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

    11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

    12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

    13. Guys cry!!!

    14. Don't provoke(irritate) the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

    15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

    16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and
    this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.


    17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

    18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
    mind!" would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.


    19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

    20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

    21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for
    you.

    22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

    23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
    message clearly.


    24. Guys hate gays!

    25. Guys love their moms.

    26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

    27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
    mean that the guy likes her.


    28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

    29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

    30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

    31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

    32. Guys are very open about themselves.

    33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't
    let him wait that long.


    34. No guy is bad when he is courting

    35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

    36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
    much pretty.


    37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

    38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
    listen to him. You don't need to give advice.


    39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
    you.


    40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

  8. #8
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    Default Things which girls should know--Part 2 !!

    41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

    42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

    43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

    44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

    45. Guys think too much.

    46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

    47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

    48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
    possessive. So watch out girls!!!


    49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be
    hard for him to let go of that girl.


    [SIZE=="4"]50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they
    broke up especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.
    [/SIZE]


    **51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting
    involved with that guy.


    52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
    too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be matured and grow up.


    [SIZE=="4"]53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.[/SIZE]

    54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

    55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed *****cats with their girlfriends.

    56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
    probably see that he is nervous.


    57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

    58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,"Please come and listen to me"

    59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

    60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

    61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

    62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

    63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight,
    but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is
    wrong.


    64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.*

    65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

    66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be
    sure unless the girl tells him.


    67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

    68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

    69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

    70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

    71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your
    advantage.


    72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of
    rejection.


    73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.***********

    74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than
    attracting guys.


    75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic
    is about girls.


    76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

    77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable
    decisions but still love them more.


    78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

    79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

    80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
    them,they'll realize they're wrong.

  9. #9
    SB Addict his_xlnc's Avatar
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    Default Things which girls should know--Part 3 !!

    81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
    stubborn to deal with it.


    82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

    83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

    84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is
    already thinking of a way out.


    85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at
    fixing things.


    86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
    criticizing you.


    87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance,ignore him.

    88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

    89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at u and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

    90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

    91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in
    front of you!


    92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

    93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

    94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
    praying sometimes.


    95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

    96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

    97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

    98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

    99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships

  10. #10
    SB Wizard Sam's Avatar
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    Default Punjab Board exam paper Too Hilarious

    Hey dudes.. here is Punjab Board exam paper

    || तालिबान सक्क ||

  11. #11
    THE KING Lieutenant A!'s Avatar
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    Default

    Haaa Haaaa Haaaa Haaa Heee Heeee Huuuuuu Huuuuuuuuuu Heeee
    Haaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaa
    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...eeee Eeeee Uuuuuuuuuuuu Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
    Last edited by Sam; 24-05-2006 at 01:45 PM.

  12. #12

    Thumbs up Jokes, Humour & Interesting Read

    1. Jurassic Park
    This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start
    approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon
    sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.; Sardarji
    replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to
    janwar hai, usko kya pata"


    2. Brain Tumor
    There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the
    sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
    'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead
    of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of
    them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur
    aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi
    ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;


    3. Photocopy
    One Sardar needed two plain papers but he had only one. Do you know what
    he did: photocopied the one which he had. sardar are fun aren't


    4. European Closet
    Santa and Banta went to US They have stayed a five star hotel. Santa don't
    know how to use the European closet he dropped everything in a packet and
    placed it on one of the leaves of the fan. Banta came and switch on the
    fan and everything spread on the wall When the room boy came Santa gave a
    10 dollars and told him to wash it off . But the Room boy gazed at it for
    a five minutes and taken a 25 dollars from the pocket and told to Santa "I
    will give you this 25 dollars if you say how did u do it so beautifully".


    5. One more Plane Crash
    Garbachan singh was traveling from Calcutta to Bombay by a plane, There
    were one American, one Russian, one Pakistani and some other passengers.
    Suddenly something went wrong pilot alarmed that plane lost it's control
    and some of the passengers have to jump out to rescue the rest of them.
    Firstly the American jumped out saying "Jai America" again the condition
    didn't change then the Russian jumped out from the plane saying "Jai
    Russia". But the condition still the same. The next is Garbachen's turn he
    hesitated for a moment and pulled out the Pakistani by saying "Jai India".


    6. A Plane journey
    A jet ran in to some turbulent weather. To keep passengers calm, the air
    hostess brought out the beverage carts.
    "I'd like a soda " said the passenger in the front row. Moving along, the
    air hostess asked the man behind her if he would like something.
    "Yes I would," he replied. "Give me whatever the pilot is drinking!".


    7. Crime Story
    "I'm going on vacation . Could you suggest a thrilling crime story ?"
    Santa asks to Banta. "Here this one is so suspenseful you won't be able to
    put it down" replies Banta. "only on the last page do you find out that
    the gardener did it".


    8. New House
    Santa meets Banta
    Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
    Banta: "No."
    Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't you?"
    Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the home I was
    looking for!".


    9. Salt Seller

    Do you really sell that much salt? A man asks to a Sardar who is running a
    grocery shop stocked with thousands of boxes of salt.
    "No " says the Sardar. "I sell may be two boxes a month. To tell you the
    truth, I'm not a good salt seller. But the one who sell me salt-now he's a
    good salt seller."


    10. Marathon Race
    One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
    "What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
    " We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
    runner.
    "Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
    Exclaimed the Sardar


    11. 13th Floor

    One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
    thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
    to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
    Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in
    panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
    window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
    floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named
    Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
    he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
    he remembered he was not Santa Singh.



    12.Phone Book

    A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library
    and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the
    most boring I've ever read. There was no story
    whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
    The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
    took our phone book."

    13.Cows Don't Fly
    A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to
    observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
    dropped a load when it was directly over him. The
    Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

    14.Dark Room

    Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
    give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
    bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

    15.Relaxing

    One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.A lady
    came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar
    answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and
    asked! ! ! ! the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me
    ! Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same
    question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
    shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
    enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
    Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
    answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
    his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond
    rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai. "

    16. Wash Basin

    A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash
    his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running
    and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies,
    "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai "Wash Basin".

    17.Three Engines

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the
    captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed..
    There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than
    scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
    Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed
    and
    the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can
    fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One
    more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three
    hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." A sardarji
    passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one
    more engine,we'll be up here all day!"

    18.Detective Job
    Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a
    Sardarji,
    one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each
    applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When
    the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed
    Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans
    killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
    When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same
    question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief
    thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his
    interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time,
    before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief
    said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home,
    his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got
    the job,
    and I'm already investigating a murder.

    19.Guooonn, Guooonn

    Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we
    had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same
    every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep
    with a
    sound "guooonn, guooonn."
    He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains
    persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He
    is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge.
    Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete
    so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito
    falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says
    "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

    20. Urine Test

    Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like
    anything. So the other asked,"Why are you crying?" The first one replied,
    "I came here for blood test" Second one asked," So? Are you afraid?"
    First one replied,"No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
    Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished
    and
    asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my
    urine test."

    21. Bihari-Sardar

    A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives
    and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji
    orders
    Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because
    he knows only sardar jokes! After thinking for some time he decides to
    substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He
    starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a
    major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab
    sardar mar gaye hai kya?"

    Job application
    Sardarji is filling up a job application.
    He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
    Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.
    Last edited by Jay; 01-06-2006 at 05:08 PM.

  13. #13

    Default Types of women-Very interesting, have a look!

    There are different types of women in this world but what we will disuss are entirely different from those you have seen. Hav a look & enjoy.
    TYPES OF WOMEN

    HARD-DISK Woman:
    She remembers everything, FOREVER.

    Congratulations, Here s Your Hidden Part : RAM Woman:
    She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

    WINDOWS Woman:
    Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

    EXCEL Woman:
    They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

    SCREENSAVER Woman:
    She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

    INTERNET Woman:
    Difficult to access.

    SERVER Woman:
    Always busy when you need her.

    MULTIMEDIA Woman:
    She makes horrible things look beautiful.

    CD-ROM Woman:
    She is always faster and faster.

    E-MAIL Woman:
    Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

    VIRUS Woman:
    Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
    comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............

  14. #14
    New Born cfagzb@hotmail.com's Avatar
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    Wink good running

    well done my boy , keep it on


    Quote Originally Posted by rishabhjain_1000@yahoo.com
    There are different types of women in this world but what we will disuss are entirely different from those you have seen. Hav a look & enjoy.
    TYPES OF WOMEN

    HARD-DISK Woman:
    She remembers everything, FOREVER.

    Congratulations, Here s Your Hidden Part : RAM Woman:
    She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

    WINDOWS Woman:
    Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

    EXCEL Woman:
    They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

    SCREENSAVER Woman:
    She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

    INTERNET Woman:
    Difficult to access.

    SERVER Woman:
    Always busy when you need her.

    MULTIMEDIA Woman:
    She makes horrible things look beautiful.

    CD-ROM Woman:
    She is always faster and faster.

    E-MAIL Woman:
    Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

    VIRUS Woman:
    Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
    comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything............

  15. #15
    THE KING Lieutenant A!'s Avatar
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    Default

    1st one is the best..HAA HAA

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