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Thread: want to forget my love who is married now

  1. #1
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    Unhappy want to forget my love who is married now

    i am 27 year old girll from Delhi.my problem is that i want to forget my long time love.it has been 12 years since we fell for each other.i have asked many times to marry me but he somehow managed to delay.after 8 years of our relationship,he married another girl due to parental pressure.i stopped talking to him,,but after 1 and half years,he called me back to apologize. as i loved him so much i started talking as a friend.we were physically attached before he broke up.my problem is that he is in my relation and a very close relative.whenever i tried to forget him,a dinner or lunch,a holiday of our relatives,any party are reasons i could not ignore him,,i love him so much.i know he is not mine.i donot want to destroy his family. i use to forget his mistakes and have same feelings of love for him even after so many bitter experiences of mine caused by his relation to his wife.i can not avoid his contact. i went abroad for 3 months to see if i could manage and forget him due to lack of communication but i failed.i want to die because i can not marry another guy as i can not forget him. i am not a virgin and was physical for many times with him as i was not aware that he will not marry me.my parents are forcing me to marry and my bad luck is that my mom is asking my love for suggestion of my marriage.everything is so hurting..please help me.

  2. #2
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    Hii!!!


    You are still calling him your love dear girl??

    okay heres a tip. Think logically. Most often life's decisions are best taken with brains , Not heart.
    Just take a paper & write down how much he hurt u. He loved u for 12 years, u both had sex, & then he didnt even care to inform family that he loved u?? he married someone else & again wants to talk to you. Obviously he will. because u are being blind in love & letting him play with your heart.


    Say NO to him. Stop any communication with him, esp because u still have feelings for him,it is better u avoid him .

    About your marriage, Yes it is important that u get married soon. Take active part in choice of your partner & choose a good man. Your mom might be unaware about ur ex, but he knows everything & is pretending. How mean!...

    But what else he can do now, he has to act normal & take part in looking for ur groom. If its hurting u,ask ur mom not to take his opinion.

    forget him, forget past,. Get married & Live happily.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  3. #3
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    hey,
    well... our minds are beautiful creations.... it accepts whateva v feed it.... right now ur juz focussing on the past time u spent with him.... hence the pain....
    now for a moment try to focus on the pain he has given u...that ultimate betrayel..of getn physical with u and marrying someone else???
    try to think about him with disgust...uv gotta condition ur mind to think of him in a different way....
    in short replace ur feelings of love with those of anger or hatred or atlest of neutrality.....
    ffocus on the other more important aspects of ur life... like ur career... or education.... escaping is not the solution... turning around and facing it is.... be strong.... be confident....
    take care...

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    y ou stay calm n relax... it's all over..it's gone!
    forget it!

    let your family find a good match for you...
    virginity is a small issue.. bigger is your "life,& feelings"
    Got new samsung galaxy grand 2 on my wedding ani.

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    What Happen to Pretto Maam... why she is not answering any of the queries any more??? anyone got this Idea...???

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    Yes, ideally you should forget your love, cut all contacts with him, keep yourself busy with some fun activities, hang out with friends and if you can, try to find a committed partner this time around.

    But since we don't live in an ideal world, allow me propose something drastic. This is something that you really don't want to hear and that is: you will never forget him. I believe he was your first love and someone who you confided in several years of life. But as fate had it, you two separated for whatever reason it may - e.g. cheating, etc. Those feelings will never be replaced but you can create room for more. So instead of fighting it, learn to live it and everything else will seem simpler as time passes by. Change the way you look at him. If you want to be friends with him then do so but draw some limits and follow them. Make sure you let him know about your intentions too. I like your stance so far and I would encourage you to keep it and not indulge in any immoral acts or behavior, as that could have dire consequences. Try to do things freely, fearlessly and nonchalantly. Remember you have done no wrong and despite all that I admire the fact that you have chosen to forgive him and there is no bad blood amongst the two of you. This really shows that you loved him. But on the other hand if there is someone who should feel the guilt or suffer, even though you don't intend to - then it should be him not you. Things I suggest might hurt you in the beginning or you may get tempted to act a certain way but don't get carried away. Heart is like a muscle the more it hurts, the stronger it would become eventually. So don't worry if it hurts, it only improves your chances to get over him faster. By doing so I assume you will gain some self-control and will be able to channel your feelings better.

    That's all. I wish you all the luck and if you still need more advice then let me know, we can chat it up.

  7. #7
    New Born XBoy's Avatar
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    You had physical relations with him. That's fine and is a honest mistake since you weren't expecting him to marry someone else. Although It's pretty much of a disturbing fact that the girl who was immature before is still the same. Grow Up the World is full of people with "NO BALLS" to stand up for someone they care about. As far as Your marriage is concerned I guess It's pretty much your choice if u want it to be instead of letting a jerk decide. No offense but they guy is a loser. Cutting Off Communications Isn't the way to block someone out of your head.

    Things that people tend to forget are usually the things they keep remembering. Keep Your Calm And Plz get a life ,get into something that actually takes up your mind off him.

    Good Luck and Lace Up !

  8. #8
    SB Addict shoni's Avatar
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    Manisha see whether he was your love or u still love him those were your feelimgs towords him bt nw u hv to understand tht he is married n thr is no point in looking back in the past.u were realy much into ths relationshp cz u were physicaly inclined too bt nw thr is no wat to
    expect nythng frm him,n watevr the reasn of his marriage nw he hv been commited to smone fr a lifetym n u cnt expect him to b back.ok u lovd him bt nw ths relation is of no direction.n if he evr loved u watever could b the reasn.....comon...tht guy was physicaly in relationshp wid i thm too married smone else does tht sound logical to u? Dnt b in touch widhim as u said he is also a close relative to u...cz it could damage yor reputation if anyone would knw ths relation past n so. Try to frgt its difficult nt imposible move on in your life .
    Last edited by shoni; 21-06-2012 at 11:52 AM.

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    Oh mannnn...... He is not your love! He is just a womanizer yaar!!! he played with your feelings and he is still playing with your feelings making it impossible for you to move on lady.....
    I am sure you wont falll so loww and sleeep with him again while knowing he is married! Just leave him! Think about it this way! If he really loved you he would have married you!
    If he can live without you ...... soo can you!!!

  10. #10
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    The man is married and this is more than enough reason to let go.
    Are you really sad because you have lost him or you are worried that you may not be accepted the way you
    are , i mean you guys went to extremes in your relationship , my talk can seem hard but it does not make it
    less of a true!

    Listen up , if he wanted you , he would have got you , but he choosed another woman so in my opinion he is
    not worthy of your love now , start your own life with someone who will appreciate you.

    Quote Originally Posted by manisha.singhal84 View Post
    i am 27 year old girll from Delhi.my problem is that i want to forget my long time love.it has been 12 years since we fell for each other.i have asked many times to marry me but he somehow managed to delay.after 8 years of our relationship,he married another girl due to parental pressure.i stopped talking to him,,but after 1 and half years,he called me back to apologize. as i loved him so much i started talking as a friend.we were physically attached before he broke up.my problem is that he is in my relation and a very close relative.whenever i tried to forget him,a dinner or lunch,a holiday of our relatives,any party are reasons i could not ignore him,,i love him so much.i know he is not mine.i donot want to destroy his family. i use to forget his mistakes and have same feelings of love for him even after so many bitter experiences of mine caused by his relation to his wife.i can not avoid his contact. i went abroad for 3 months to see if i could manage and forget him due to lack of communication but i failed.i want to die because i can not marry another guy as i can not forget him. i am not a virgin and was physical for many times with him as i was not aware that he will not marry me.my parents are forcing me to marry and my bad luck is that my mom is asking my love for suggestion of my marriage.everything is so hurting..please help me.

  11. #11
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by manisha.singhal84 View Post
    i am 27 year old girll from Delhi.my problem is that i want to forget my long time love.it has been 12 years since we fell for each other.i have asked many times to marry me but he somehow managed to delay.after 8 years of our relationship,he married another girl due to parental pressure.i stopped talking to him,,but after 1 and half years,he called me back to apologize. as i loved him so much i started talking as a friend.we were physically attached before he broke up.my problem is that he is in my relation and a very close relative.whenever i tried to forget him,a dinner or lunch,a holiday of our relatives,any party are reasons i could not ignore him,,i love him so much.i know he is not mine.i donot want to destroy his family. i use to forget his mistakes and have same feelings of love for him even after so many bitter experiences of mine caused by his relation to his wife.i can not avoid his contact. i went abroad for 3 months to see if i could manage and forget him due to lack of communication but i failed.i want to die because i can not marry another guy as i can not forget him. i am not a virgin and was physical for many times with him as i was not aware that he will not marry me.my parents are forcing me to marry and my bad luck is that my mom is asking my love for suggestion of my marriage.everything is so hurting..please help me.
    You Want to..?
    You "Have" to.. !!

    Nobody dies without anyone. It is all about what you keep telling yourself.

    Sometimes, I wonder how this world is full of people who do not have any self-respect or ego. A guy pretends to love you, just to sleep with you. Marries another girl and then wants to be back in contact. You, on the other hand go - I love him, I love him, I love him.. !!

    Should We blame the guys for fooling these girls..?
    Or should be blame these girls of being so stupid that men have no option but to fool them.
    My Personality depends on who I am.My Attitude depends on who you are.
    a_decent_1™ ©®

  12. #12
    Moderator Colonel gracefulguy's Avatar
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    Almost everyone goes through this experience in his/her life time.........so do not consider urself as the ONLY one.....

    To cut the story very very short, get married asap, not with ur eyes closed, I suggest take part in selction process along with ur parents....and get married to the most suitable guy.

    He isnt going anywhere you arent going anywhere......but in the wake of responsibilities, you both will realise your situation and preferences.........and time will heal everything.

    This is also known as moving on.
    "I'm always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught"

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