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Thread: GF not ready for intimacy

  1. #1
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    Question GF not ready for intimacy

    Mam please publish this post as this is the third time I am writing to you.

    I am in a relation with my GF. We both love each other. We use to make out in car smooching and all. We went on 1 to 2 days tour 3 times. When we stay in one room she does not allow me to do the stuff which I use to do in the car. I mean even in car for 4 to 5 min and then she stops me and say this is wrong. Then take a promise from me that we will not do this again. After certain period again we are in car when I smooch her she takes her promise and says do what we do, not more than that. then again she feels guilt. when we were in tour she just gave me smooch that too for 5 seconds and try to maintain distance from me and says this is wrong. I love her and respect her decision but this seems to be weird to me when I am excited. She says all this is our physical needs and this is not love. I tried to convince her several times that love comprises of this physical needs and if we make out little bit that doesnt mean that we don't love each other. She says she also love doing it and enjoys a lot but we should not do this and ours should be pure love. At the starting of our relation she use to say me that she wants to enjoy sex with flowers and music and all and I said just tell me when you get ready for it. Now all of the sudden she started ignoring me while we use to be alone in a room for overnight stay and distracts herself by watching tv and all.
    She also said that after marriage she will not give me regular sex and we will only have sex when we want baby. She also said think carefully as she can't give me sex after marriage as she does not like it.
    Now I do not understand this girl. She love making out with me then just in 5 minutes she stops me and say this is wrong but she enjoys a lot and comes in flow as she says this to me.

    Now how to convince her that doing this stuff does not mean that we dont love each other and am worried when she said that she will not give me sex even after marriage. At one side she says she comes in flow while making out and other side she says she doesn't like all this.

    What is she upto? and what should I do to have that physical love with her convincingly.

  2. #2
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    She is confused and you are horny. Never force yourself upon another person. It could be treated as molestation. Try going with the flow and only do such acts when both parties feel comfortable.

    Its too early to think about post marriage. There are a lot more complexities and struggles in a marriage pre and post excluding sex issues.

  3. #3
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well, yes, she seems confused and until the time you are both thinking this whole thing through, maybe you should stop going out on long trips together. Why get frustrated and put each other to test all the time? Instead, work on developing mutual understanding and love and maybe both of you should clear your understanding of what your relationship should entail and what you both want from it and come to some sort of an understanding.

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    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by archer_paradise View Post
    She is confused and you are horny. Never force yourself upon another person. It could be treated as molestation. Try going with the flow and only do such acts when both parties feel comfortable.

    Its too early to think about post marriage. There are a lot more complexities and struggles in a marriage pre and post excluding sex issues.
    The guy told u 100% truth. Be patient, she is not a object of enjoyment. She has her own will. GIve her time to think and in due process try ur luck.

  5. #5
    chirpy angel Lieutenant-Colonel barbiedoll's Avatar
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    I guess you are worrying of no reason. If your gf is not ready for sex then you have to respect her wish and and stop pressurizng her to do something she's not ready to do. Not every girl in these days too, jumps to involve in sex with partner. Like most of females do, she might first want to get married to experience it or it could also be that she is scared that involving in sex before marriage could kill her self worth or might be scared of being pregnant as well. If you love her, just wait, even if you don't understand her reasons fully, try and be supportive. I am sure, she will appreciate you so much for your understanding and waiting once she is ready.

    Secondly, stop worrying about things post marriage. Once a woman is secured in a relationship, her fears will vanish automatically. I am sure every wife would want to keep her husband happy in all means.

    Be patient!!

  6. #6
    SB ICON Lieutenant General don99's Avatar
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    give her time..............................be patient!
    "Don't wait for the Perfect moment.. take the Moment and make it Perfect."


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    Default give her time

    app logo nay apni age mantion nahi ki,
    kahin uski past life mein koi bf toh nahi tha jiskay sath voh intimate hui ho or abb tumhay uski jagah par accept nahi kar pa rahi ho,try to find out.
    hum log jab kisi topic par jab apnay friends say kuch share kartay h toh,sab tarah ki baatay samnay aati h,ho sakta h ki sex related talks mein uskay mind mein sex say related negative feeling aa gayi ho or usay lagta ho kis karnay tak hi sex safe h,ic liye shayad voh agay k liye naa kardayti h,
    or agar app logio ki age ki kam h toh usay thoda time do,
    jannay ki koshish karo ki prob kahan h,us say khul kar baat karo,but usay force mat karo,usay jitna time chaiye laynay do,all the best

  8. #8
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    before marriage she stops you thats normal.... because she might be a girl who doesnt want it before marriage!! but after marriage its not okk... because many man end up marrying a girl with low libido who find sex as a burden and later faces a lot of frustration....

    realise one thing, you will NOT be able to convince her that she should do sex if she doesnt love it.... because ask yourself this question: can anyone convince you not to have sex??? answer obviously is no, right!!! then for her also is the same....

    so you either have to adjust with her or leave her and get someone who has similar needs with you!!! the choice is yours!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

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    She has every right to say no, not only during courtship but also after marriage. You also have every right to dump her and get a different girl who is sexually compatible with you, not only during courtship but also after marriage.

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    well seriously i think you should get out of this relationship as soon as possible. this girl has got psychological problems and will create problems for you after marriage. this is high time you realize this and find a better match for yourself.

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    Rape is obviously not an option. If she is being such a cock-teaser, you should also try and adopt the same approach, but continue to whisper and tittilate. Another option is wine. A girl opens her legs when she is feeling a bit tipsy. Try it out.

    Logical Guru is the divine source of all good advice to those who want to get those legs spread

  12. #12
    New Born supernova19's Avatar
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    Man just take time...

  13. #13
    ✿♥ mesmerized♥✿ Lieutenant-Colonel imeggz_leoness's Avatar
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    maam is correct..
    Got new samsung galaxy grand 2 on my wedding ani.

  14. #14
    New Born USSSDR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Mam please publish this post as this is the third time I am writing to you.

    I am in a relation with my GF. We both love each other. We use to make out in car smooching and all. We went on 1 to 2 days tour 3 times. When we stay in one room she does not allow me to do the stuff which I use to do in the car. I mean even in car for 4 to 5 min and then she stops me and say this is wrong. Then take a promise from me that we will not do this again. After certain period again we are in car when I smooch her she takes her promise and says do what we do, not more than that. then again she feels guilt. when we were in tour she just gave me smooch that too for 5 seconds and try to maintain distance from me and says this is wrong. I love her and respect her decision but this seems to be weird to me when I am excited. She says all this is our physical needs and this is not love. I tried to convince her several times that love comprises of this physical needs and if we make out little bit that doesnt mean that we don't love each other. She says she also love doing it and enjoys a lot but we should not do this and ours should be pure love. At the starting of our relation she use to say me that she wants to enjoy sex with flowers and music and all and I said just tell me when you get ready for it. Now all of the sudden she started ignoring me while we use to be alone in a room for overnight stay and distracts herself by watching tv and all.
    She also said that after marriage she will not give me regular sex and we will only have sex when we want baby. She also said think carefully as she can't give me sex after marriage as she does not like it.
    Now I do not understand this girl. She love making out with me then just in 5 minutes she stops me and say this is wrong but she enjoys a lot and comes in flow as she says this to me.

    Now how to convince her that doing this stuff does not mean that we dont love each other and am worried when she said that she will not give me sex even after marriage. At one side she says she comes in flow while making out and other side she says she doesn't like all this.

    What is she upto? and what should I do to have that physical love with her convincingly.
    I could be wrong, but I think this girl was sexually abused in the past. If someone says they don't like sex you need to really think about it. Those two sentences in Bold are something you need to think about and talk to her about. You need to be very understanding of her if she had any bad experiences related to sex in the past and she will need professional counseling. Since you are talking about marriage I hope you really love her and will not ditch her if she has issues.
    Last edited by USSSDR; 30-07-2012 at 03:14 AM.

  15. #15
    One Man Army,Ekla Chalo:) Lieutenant General
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    Why are YOU so desperate to have sex with ur gf.???/?if she is not ready ,it is ok,coz in our culture sex is allowed after marriage..so at this point she is right.you should give respect to her decision.sex is not everything in a relationship..
    But when she is saying that,after marriage,she cant allow you for sexual intercourse ,then there may be some problem with her.now ,at this point you take this matter seriously,coz sex is a natural process and one of the essential process for every living being like other process(ex:respiration,nutrition..etc)..so you should talk with her carefully,try to know about her past..now if you are going for marriage,bettEr you talk to her any family member(her sister,ya any close friend, or cousin) regarding this matter.SEX IS VERY SENSITIVE MATTER IN OUR CULTURE,SO PLEASE HANDLE THIS MATTER CAREFULLY.....
    All the best for ur future
    Last edited by suryasuman89; 01-08-2012 at 01:24 PM.

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