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Thread: I Screwed up, I need Help!

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    Default I Screwed up, I need Help!

    Hello Madam,
    I am an Afghan guy living in United States, but i am a big fan of your forum, and love the way people post there problems here and most of them come up with a solution.
    Anyway, a couple of years ago, just to get my American citizenship faster, I got married to an Afghan woman who was 31 years old while I was 21, 10 years younger than her. We met in a restaurant where she fell in love with me in first sight, while she already had a boyfriend (She broke up with him the next time they met). Before getting married to her, i clearly told her that I am marrying you only for citizenship, but i will try to fell in love with you, and she agreed. I have been to dozens of countries, from India to Pakistan to Afghanistan to Russia to Iran to Dubai to London and US, but without any exaggeration she is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my entire life. She completely changed her lifestyle for me after the marriage, she learned cooking, she left all her past friends including girls because i didn't like them. She even stopped contacting her family for me. We became very close friends and started living as roommates, but still i didn't fell in love with her. Why? Number one reasons was my family who totally disagreed with this marriage. The second reason was her age being older than me, however she looked like a 23 or 24 years old girl but still she acted more mature than i did, while i acted like a teenager. The last but not the least reason was her past, that really haunted me. She had dozens of boyfriends before me, and 2 times she had done abortions, which was not acceptable for somebody like me who grew up in a conservative family. After all these events, now that i became a natural citizen, I have badly fell in love with her. I cant stop thinking about her a second. I keep remembering every moment i spent with her. i haven't attended my classes from last one week. I don't wanna do anything and just wanna stay home and cry because it is very late now. After trying 2 years to make me fell for her, she gave up and a few months ago she asked me if she could date someone, because i was already dating a Mexican chick. I told her she could do whatever she want to, its her life, and our marriage was an agreement anyways. Now she have started liking that guy and want to get married to him after taking her divorce from me. I don't want to divorce her now, but i don't know what to tell her. Last time i asked her if she is happy, she told me yeah she is happy now with this new guy. She cried days and nights for me and i simply ignored her, but now she have moved on with her life and she looks happy with her new boyfriend, how can i ruin that? Also I was the one who let her date someone else while we were still officially married, i feel very guilty for that. I don't know what to do? I am completely broken and hopeless.

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    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lost_Legend View Post
    Hello Madam,
    I am an Afghan guy living in United States, but i am a big fan of your forum, and love the way people post there problems here and most of them come up with a solution.
    Anyway, a couple of years ago, just to get my American citizenship faster, I got married to an Afghan woman who was 31 years old while I was 21, 10 years younger than her. We met in a restaurant where she fell in love with me in first sight, while she already had a boyfriend (She broke up with him the next time they met). Before getting married to her, i clearly told her that I am marrying you only for citizenship, but i will try to fell in love with you, and she agreed. I have been to dozens of countries, from India to Pakistan to Afghanistan to Russia to Iran to Dubai to London and US, but without any exaggeration she is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my entire life. She completely changed her lifestyle for me after the marriage, she learned cooking, she left all her past friends including girls because i didn't like them. She even stopped contacting her family for me. We became very close friends and started living as roommates, but still i didn't fell in love with her. Why? Number one reasons was my family who totally disagreed with this marriage. The second reason was her age being older than me, however she looked like a 23 or 24 years old girl but still she acted more mature than i did, while i acted like a teenager. The last but not the least reason was her past, that really haunted me. She had dozens of boyfriends before me, and 2 times she had done abortions, which was not acceptable for somebody like me who grew up in a conservative family. After all these events, now that i became a natural citizen, I have badly fell in love with her. I cant stop thinking about her a second. I keep remembering every moment i spent with her. i haven't attended my classes from last one week. I don't wanna do anything and just wanna stay home and cry because it is very late now. After trying 2 years to make me fell for her, she gave up and a few months ago she asked me if she could date someone, because i was already dating a Mexican chick. I told her she could do whatever she want to, its her life, and our marriage was an agreement anyways. Now she have started liking that guy and want to get married to him after taking her divorce from me. I don't want to divorce her now, but i don't know what to tell her. Last time i asked her if she is happy, she told me yeah she is happy now with this new guy. She cried days and nights for me and i simply ignored her, but now she have moved on with her life and she looks happy with her new boyfriend, how can i ruin that? Also I was the one who let her date someone else while we were still officially married, i feel very guilty for that. I don't know what to do? I am completely broken and hopeless.
    Its really sorry to say tht u hv self destroyed ur love. When she was running madly behind, u didnt melt coz of ur old school thoughts. Tht woman desrves better guy than u. U r worth of that woman. The only thing u can do is that try ur chances or move on...

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    Look i might Sound Harsh but i will tell you The Facts in Your Cases!
    You did not admire the psy you had in your home..& When Some 1 Else Started Banging it That to Because of your Madness decisions you realized what a Cunnt you had in ur Home.& Now you feel like to taste it! Its way to late Dude.
    She is a Smart Girl she had Bf's before and now even she have a new one.She Lifes to Enjoy her life to fullest.She has moved on...its Time that you Should also Move On!

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    New Born ooye_hoye's Avatar
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    man o man, now you are regretting, I mean sit down and think what you have done, and ask yourself what you should do.

    you will surely get an answer

    on a lighter note

    does 'Talaaq' x 3 times is legal there?

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    After reading everything, I can only say u Just Move On...!!

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