My best friend's sister

[wiki21]

hi...
i'm in bit irritating situation. i have a childhood friend whose sister had proposed to me long back. at that time since i was bit immature, so i denied her. i dont know how these girls grow and learn faster than the guys of their age!!! however, we continued meeting casually or this is what i thought that we are meeting casually. days passed, so passed the years... we were then grown up; enough to understand the love and stuff. one day i saw her in social gathering and something happened to me and i started thinking about her. this was my first ever time. few days after that social gathering we got a chance to get close again and she shared her views again that she still loves me. i got carried away but didnt do anything (ladki ki izzat stuff really do matters to me alot). at night we started texting each other and i too opened my heart in front of her that i love her too. so we made a plan to meet and all but on that very same night i started thinking what if something goes wrong in our relation. i will lose my childhood friend (he is the only genuine friend i have). anyway, i met her on the said day and explained her my situation and she too agreed with me. until then, very thing was ok.
now, after one year she again wants to be in relation. and this time she is adamant..very stubborn. she is really sweet and i dont want to hurt her and i am myself pretty confused.
but the worse thing is that i have made her as a norm. i mean whenever any girl approaches me, i start comparing her with friend's sis. this has happened thrice. now the point is even if i bravely confront my chuddy buddy, keeping my friendship at stake, the fact is my family will not accept our relation. m sure she will be ok with this as well... but my conscience doesnt allow me to do that.
please... help me... preeto ma'am in particular!
thanks in advance!

[Preeto Maam]

Hi!

The thing that stands out in this account, my dear, is that though you are attracted to this girl, but you are also very uncomfortable with the prospect of a relationship with her for various reasons. In that case, I would suggest that you hold back a little and take it easy with this. If you are afraid that you may compromise your relationship with your best friend as well as your family and if you have not yet committed, then wisdom lies in taking a chill pill.

This would mean maintaining a very real distance you know. Because being friends as of now, is not a real option for you since you are so attracted to her- that really won't work. So, its a hard thing- think about it!

[wiki21]

Hi!

The thing that stands out in this account, my dear, is that though you are attracted to this girl, but you are also very uncomfortable with the prospect of a relationship with her for various reasons. In that case, I would suggest that you hold back a little and take it easy with this. If you are afraid that you may compromise your relationship with your best friend as well as your family and if you have not yet committed, then wisdom lies in taking a chill pill.

This would mean maintaining a very real distance you know. Because being friends as of now, is not a real option for you since you are so attracted to her- that really won't work. So, its a hard thing- think about it!

thanks maam... i was thinking in the same direction and just wanted a confirmation from some one. anyway, i feel light and happy about my decision now.

[mysticmantra]

hi...
i'm in bit irritating situation. i have a childhood friend whose sister had proposed to me long back. at that time since i was bit immature, so i denied her. i dont know how these girls grow and learn faster than the guys of their age!!! however, we continued meeting casually or this is what i thought that we are meeting casually. days passed, so passed the years... we were then grown up; enough to understand the love and stuff. one day i saw her in social gathering and something happened to me and i started thinking about her. this was my first ever time. few days after that social gathering we got a chance to get close again and she shared her views again that she still loves me. i got carried away but didnt do anything (ladki ki izzat stuff really do matters to me alot). at night we started texting each other and i too opened my heart in front of her that i love her too. so we made a plan to meet and all but on that very same night i started thinking what if something goes wrong in our relation. i will lose my childhood friend (he is the only genuine friend i have). anyway, i met her on the said day and explained her my situation and she too agreed with me. until then, very thing was ok.
now, after one year she again wants to be in relation. and this time she is adamant..very stubborn. she is really sweet and i dont want to hurt her and i am myself pretty confused.
but the worse thing is that i have made her as a norm. i mean whenever any girl approaches me, i start comparing her with friend's sis. this has happened thrice. now the point is even if i bravely confront my chuddy buddy, keeping my friendship at stake, the fact is my family will not accept our relation. m sure she will be ok with this as well... but my conscience doesnt allow me to do that.
please... help me... preeto ma'am in particular!
thanks in advance!

U shud watch Imtiyaz Ali's movies like Socha na thha, Jab we Met, Love Aaj Kal latest Cocktail. See we dont get everything we desire and we also dont know how relationships may occur. The only thing I am little confused that u r too much confused in thinking what is right, what is wrong, how my parents will judge my decision, how my friend will react when he will come to know about this? To many questions. First, I think u like the gal and the gal likes u too. See life becomes that much clear that we want to be clear. U had replied to my question, the one thing which is different is I knew what I really wanted to do and I did that. Even if I am suffering today, still I am happy that I took a stand to do what I wanted to do. When u will forward in ur life many such situations will arise and u have to tackle it. What u r doing is compromise and running away from solution. If the gal is well educated, homely and decent, ur parents will never question ur choice secondly, its hard to forget first love that is she. Hope I may have thrown some light on ur query..

[wiki21]

indeed mysticmantra... what u've written does count but then i'm an ordinary human being and obviously not like the actors of these movies... now, about confusion... see, i'm confused because my inclination towards her is not gradual it was kind of momentary under some influences of favorable circumstances. i do enjoy her company but i can not identify/find my so called love in it. besides, she is not above my friend. but thanks for ur advice!

[mysticmantra]

indeed mysticmantra... what u've written does count but then i'm an ordinary human being and obviously not like the actors of these movies... now, about confusion... see, i'm confused because my inclination towards her is not gradual it was kind of momentary under some influences of favorable circumstances. i do enjoy her company but i can not identify/find my so called love in it. besides, she is not above my friend. but thanks for ur advice!

Yeah u r right we are mango people common man. In movie same thing comes to u again and again like in Hum Tum but in real life its bullshit. See if ur inclination her is not gradual but circumstantial, then u shud straight tell her what u feel and how u cant cope wid this type situation and tell her she can only be ur good frnd. Straight, sweet and simple.