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Thread: In a dilemma!!

  1. #1
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    Default In a dilemma!!

    Hi ma'am, I ve been wit this guy for d past 3 yrs. He is very caring n is always there whenever I need him. We have a common fren (girl) and we 3 r good frens though I ve never shared wit her abt my relationship wit him. Now sometime ago I ve started observing some strange behaviour of this common fren towards him but I never thought it wud something to do between them. A few days ago I became too suspicious n finally he confessed that they both ve started becoming close through chatting..he told her that I n him were together before but now we r jus frens n she believed him.she is also my fren n I m totally in d middle of no where! My bf has said sorry to me n says everything is his fault. He has stopped talking to her though she tried to contact him. I still talk to him since its too difficult to forget him..I love him so much I can't stop myself. But i m also confused wit one thing, earlier he said he doesn't want to break friendship wit both of us n that we shud remain frens which is not possible for me. Now he spends all the time wit me n I m extremely confused. My fren on d other hand seems like she also cannot forget him and she tells me that neither she wants to break our friendship nor she feels good without talking to him.. I m going mad now. Please please help me

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Oh gosh! This is awkward indeed! Listen, I know its hard and you are trying to pull along somehow, but my dear, you know that things are not normal, so don't have to try and pretend that they are.
    You can take a little break from both these people. It seems difficult, I know, but it's the only way to remaining sane for you right now. Don't push the situation and expect a resolution right now- it will happen when it does.

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    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    You are creating problems for yourself. Never trust what anybody says unless you blindly believe them.

    The guy has a wandering eye and so does the girl. No one is at fault here, as in todays day and age, love it or hate it, you cannot tie anyone down with your promises (verbal or otherwise).

    You can only mend the situation by committing to each other and spending more time with each other keeping things casual at the same time. Give it enough time and have some patience before even imagining that you both are made for each other happily ever after.

    You can be friends with people you loved, or cared about. Every friend is an acquaintance anyways. I do not know what more you could **** out of the current state of your relationship or previous one.

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    Your friend now knows and you and him.... then see if you both can be with him... because it seem to me that you both saying to each other you love him and you seem to understand her feelings might be if she understand your feelings too then you both can have the same man.


    if not then just get out from this relationship because you have no future in this relationship. love someone who truely loves girl... not someone who is confused about you. whats the use loving someone who isnt serious with you. at start the pain of leaving looks so tough that you feel no icant leave him i will be with him even if he dont love me. but in reality its something else. this feeling is temporary, with time you will realise you cant be with someone who doesnt love you whole life!

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    Thanks everyone for ur valuable advise. I need one more advise from u all-all 3 of us worked together in d same office (now we ve left). Do u think it is possible for my fren to not know I n this guy were together?we talk nicely in d office,sometimes we fight too plus he told her we were together before..I ve a feeling she went ahead inspite of knowing everything. Please correct me if I m wrong here. Many thanks to all of you.

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    New Born madmaxunleashed's Avatar
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    ur female friend should have double checked with u before falling for him - thats her mistake.
    ur boyfriend should not have lied to her - thats his mistake.
    in between them, u r getting sandwiched now!!!
    if I had been in ur situation, I would have given the guy another chance.....everybody deserves a second chance!! but at the same time, I would have made sure that he does not repeat the same mistake in this life again.....u will ask how? well.....by love, affection, by spending more & more time with him, by more commitment, being more communicative to him etc etc.
    and for ur female friend.....see, she did a mistake, unknowingly and unwillingly......so why all 3 of u can not become good friends again? she had only became close to him, did not committed anything or did not got married or had sex......so whats the harm? I will suggest all 3 of u sit together.....talk to each other and clear the cloud!!! all the best!!!

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    Well, i would suggest that you all sit together and discuss this openly.
    DOn't hide anything from your friend.

    Because once she would know the truth, she might understand the situation and you BF would stop making mess.

    Schedule a meeting with both of them without informing what you are going to discuss and tell to your friend the truth with some proof of your & your BF's relation.

    Be ready for the truth and say your friend sorry for not sharing this to her and give the real reason whatever it was.
    Only an open discusiion can help you.
    take care

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    you said he doesnt talk to her now...so why r u worrying?he is urs....be happy..stay happy...and b normal to ur frnd...evrythng wl b fine...

  9. #9
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    I am sorry about your situation there but like maam said that take a break from both of them and see what happens. Some times you have to make things clear to your friends and bf and draw lines.

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