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Thread: My bro not talking to dad

  1. #1
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    Default My bro not talking to dad

    hi there, my problem is very simple yet very serious. my brother is juss one year younger to me and he went abroad for his studies few years ago. My dad first promised him tht he wud help him financially and since i was also studying abroad, i guess may be i spent too much tht after my bro completed two years of his studies, my dad didnt send him money. as a result, he had to stop his studies n work n earn for himself. he earned money and continued his last year. My father used to call him once this happened , but my brother never picked his calls. And i cant even count how many times he called him. Now he is getting married and my dad has been callin but he doesnt answer. on asking he said he wud not talk to him . when he needed him he wasnt there. But my mom is suffering becauz of this. my dad complains and my brother explains why he cant talk . he is not trying to understand that no matter wat he is his father and now if he has undrstood tht he made mistake, he shud not be stubborn. tell me please how shud i make them talk. .

  2. #2
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    It is strange to read that just because your father did not help his adult son financially for one year abroad, his son doesnt want to talk to him. Firstly, it is a punishment that does not much harm if your father understands that his son is not of the same psyche. For him, probably spoon feeding and parents must be the backbone every step of the way.

    I presume your brother did not feed himself all his life, studied in India in school while working at road side restaurants, went abroad with his own money. Your father might have some specific reasons for not helping him out & he must not justify them to his kids.

    The more you force someone to behave in a certain way, the more stubborn they get. You can only ignore and let time pass. You cannot jump in his lap and make your brother and father be all partying and happy. It is a strange time, but thankfully, everyone is alive & happy & is an adult above everything else. Which pretty much means they can do what they want.

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    Sibling Rivalry:

    Pappaji galat kare, perhaps he had his own reasons to be like this.

    Beti ko paise diye, bete ko nahi.

    Yeh jo bhi horaha hai, woh temporary he.

    Matters might get worse, sibling rivalry is good, but not that good either.

    Make him talk. Make them both talk. to each other. Be a part of it if possible.

    Rest ghoda hain maidaan hain
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi there, my problem is very simple yet very serious. my brother is juss one year younger to me and he went abroad for his studies few years ago. My dad first promised him tht he wud help him financially and since i was also studying abroad, i guess may be i spent too much tht after my bro completed two years of his studies, my dad didnt send him money. as a result, he had to stop his studies n work n earn for himself. he earned money and continued his last year. My father used to call him once this happened , but my brother never picked his calls. And i cant even count how many times he called him. Now he is getting married and my dad has been callin but he doesnt answer. on asking he said he wud not talk to him . when he needed him he wasnt there. But my mom is suffering becauz of this. my dad complains and my brother explains why he cant talk . he is not trying to understand that no matter wat he is his father and now if he has undrstood tht he made mistake, he shud not be stubborn. tell me please how shud i make them talk. .

  4. #4
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Listen, you know, one can never tell how and why your elder brother felt betrayed and unwanted. But seems like he did. Anyway, the familycan certainly try and intervene and try and make the father and son patch up. It may take time, but I suppose it will happen sooner or later. Bitterness and mistrust does crop up within families, unfortunately, but well, the rest of the members have to do their best to try and mitigate it.
    Keep trying- sooner or later, things will work out, I hope.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    hi there, my problem is very simple yet very serious. my brother is juss one year younger to me and he went abroad for his studies few years ago. My dad first promised him tht he wud help him financially and since i was also studying abroad, i guess may be i spent too much tht after my bro completed two years of his studies, my dad didnt send him money. as a result, he had to stop his studies n work n earn for himself. he earned money and continued his last year. My father used to call him once this happened , but my brother never picked his calls. And i cant even count how many times he called him. Now he is getting married and my dad has been callin but he doesnt answer. on asking he said he wud not talk to him . when he needed him he wasnt there. But my mom is suffering becauz of this. my dad complains and my brother explains why he cant talk . he is not trying to understand that no matter wat he is his father and now if he has undrstood tht he made mistake, he shud not be stubborn. tell me please how shud i make them talk. .
    Its impossible to force somebody to talk . Instead wait till he forgets old things

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