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Thread: Girlfriends past with my boss

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    New Born sunny240's Avatar
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    Default Girlfriends past with my boss

    Am a 28 y.o. govt. employ.. Am dating a 28 y.o. girl colleague for past 1 year.. I joined this job 2 years back while she has been here for more than 8 years.. There are many people in our office who say that she used to have sexual relations with the head of our current office 5-6 years back who retired before i joined the department.. He was married and more than her fathers age.. Now i don't know how to ask her.. Is there any way how i can find the truth or make her confess without making a mess of our relation if it turns out to be false..

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Well...this is tough. It could be that there was something between them and it could also be that these are just rumours. But whatever it is, the question is that do you really need to know? If you are both good with each other and the past is not really impinging in any way, why not just let it be? Think about it.

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    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Do you have a problem with her having an affair with an older married man? Or do you have a problem with her past involvement with men altogether? Either way, if you are dating her for just an year, you cannot dream of having a long lasting relationship if you're both honest with each other.

    Sadly, women are not so forthcoming, and coaxing the truth out of her will only make you look desperate and old fashioned and finicky. Which will not be a good impression on your part since you both work with each other. And even if your relationship ends, office gossip will turn against you.

    So you would have to be cordial and break the relationship off if you find a hint of truth in her past and the rumors you heard.

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    1.Its her past, so it is not compulsory for her to tell you about it.
    2.You should believe more in your partner than any other people. They could be just lying to you.

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    use some agents to find her past and get woman. Agents can be paid agents (like private detectives) or ur friends etc..

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    Quote Originally Posted by masakhali View Post
    use some agents to find her past and get woman. Agents can be paid agents (like private detectives) or ur friends etc..
    Good suggestion.Using agents will work if u dont have the skills to get things directly,especially in your case..!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdvohra View Post
    Good suggestion.Using agents will work if u dont have the skills to get things directly,especially in your case..!
    Thanks friend for appreciation. Sure Better to do good investigation than later crying

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    masakhali, no problem mate.. always happy to credit good answers.However i saw some answers above which says others are lying and partner is to be trusted etc etc.But due to things i learnt, i doubt if thats a good way. According to greatmen and really wise people, if majority say a thing, that is true... I mean, wise people's theory is that, suppose a guy alone says he is innocent, but if everybody around him says he is not, then we should trust the majority. This is a very excellent logic.I think this great logic must be applied here also.. This is a very apt place to use the above theory by wise-people. By applying this logic here, its easy here to see who is saying truth and who is lying.So by above great theory everybody else must be telling the truth.just my two cents
    Last edited by sdvohra; 12-11-2012 at 04:11 PM. Reason: grammer correction & few more words addition

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    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by masakhali View Post
    use some agents to find her past and get woman. Agents can be paid agents (like private detectives) or ur friends etc..
    One of these most stupidest advises I've ever heard. You want a guy who is dating a girl for just an year to pay detectives to investigate his girlfriends day to day activities to come to the conclusion whether she did have an affair with her boss 5-6 years back.

    This is not only desperate but unethical/illegal and will ruin this guy's psyche and image forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunny240 View Post
    Am a 28 y.o. govt. employ.. Am dating a 28 y.o. girl colleague for past 1 year.. I joined this job 2 years back while she has been here for more than 8 years.. There are many people in our office who say that she used to have sexual relations with the head of our current office 5-6 years back who retired before i joined the department.. He was married and more than her fathers age.. Now i don't know how to ask her.. Is there any way how i can find the truth or make her confess without making a mess of our relation if it turns out to be false..
    Simple,
    Build up a story, tell her you heard people talking all this Sh*t and you are willing to confront them and take them to task. Look for her reaction to it. If she is angry and wants you to thrash them, she is clean. If she wants you to mind your own business, you're her +1 .. !!

    G'day
    Thank you my SBF friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunny240 View Post
    Am a 28 y.o. govt. employ.. Am dating a 28 y.o. girl colleague for past 1 year.. I joined this job 2 years back while she has been here for more than 8 years.. There are many people in our office who say that she used to have sexual relations with the head of our current office 5-6 years back who retired before i joined the department.. He was married and more than her fathers age.. Now i don't know how to ask her.. Is there any way how i can find the truth or make her confess without making a mess of our relation if it turns out to be false..
    Peoples' pasts matter to some and to some they don't but if her past matters to you, you should definitely ask her and find out. There is nothing wrong with that. To some of us on here it might not matter even if she was a prostitute in the past but to some of us it might matter or if I murdered a bunch of people in my past, but I didn't kill anyone in my recent past and I am a reformed man now and asked for someone's daughter's or sister's hand in marriage, my past might matter to some and it might not matter to some, right? It depends on the individual.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunny240 View Post
    Am a 28 y.o. govt. employ.. Am dating a 28 y.o. girl colleague for past 1 year.. I joined this job 2 years back while she has been here for more than 8 years.. There are many people in our office who say that she used to have sexual relations with the head of our current office 5-6 years back who retired before i joined the department.. He was married and more than her fathers age.. Now i don't know how to ask her.. Is there any way how i can find the truth or make her confess without making a mess of our relation if it turns out to be false..

    Well talk to her about it and see

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    Not stupid idea... but my best friend fell into such situation. He blindly loved such a girl who was lying about past, and later he was heartbroken, and he cried on my shoulders thinking about his mistake.. its always good to check the past to kow the real character of girl.. and if u cant do that directly then use detective agents.. Thats good idea...
    Quote Originally Posted by archer_paradise View Post
    One of these most stupidest advises I've ever heard. You want a guy who is dating a girl for just an year to pay detectives to investigate his girlfriends day to day activities to come to the conclusion whether she did have an affair with her boss 5-6 years back.This is not only desperate but unethical/illegal and will ruin this guy's psyche and image forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by masakhali View Post
    Not stupid idea... but my best friend fell into such situation. He blindly loved such a girl who was lying about past, and later he was heartbroken, and he cried on my shoulders thinking about his mistake.. its always good to check the past to kow the real character of girl.. and if u cant do that directly then use detective agents.. Thats good idea...
    Well... the better option is to communicate with that person instead of thinking about it. If there is no trust, better move away from each other. Even a private detective wont be able to build a time machine and go to the bedrooms of the girl & manager 6 years back to see if they really hooked up.

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    This Diwali our current boss gave her a diwali gift.. And she was the only person whom he gave a gift in our office.. His intentions are not good towards her which i have been noticing since quite a few days.. He has been giving quite a lot attention to her since few months.. Should she had accepted the gift or not??

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