Ours was a whirlwind affair and we got married within 6 months of meeting each other. Now we have a child born within a year of our wedding.
My prob is: I really didnt get to know much about him before our marriage> there were some things about his background which I came to know only after a few months after we were married. By then, I was pregnant and let things be. Things have gotten worse. He has this habit of screaming at me using really abusive words. I was earlier shocked when I heard those words, now the words make me go mad with anger. He uses an extremely derogatory tone when he talks to me and his choice of words dont help. I used to think that only people from the slums speak like that. He refuses to change this and says that this is his tone and I have to live with that.
We have had a couple of major fights in the last few years, twice he walked off only to come back after a couple of hours. There are times, I want to kill myself, or divorce him but the thought of my small innocent child stops me.
I am an eduacted woman holding a senior position in an mnc. I really dont have to take this nonsense from him. My entire family hates him and they(especially my mother) minces no words to put him down. I always end up fighting with them over him. And yet, after that he says" how can they talk to me like that? I am their damaat" and you just sat there doing nothing".
My mother thinks he got married to me for my money( I earn 3 times his salary) since he comes from a very poor family. I overlooked all that because I was in love with him. I still love him but at times its very difficult especially when he talks to be in a very abusive tone.
Especailly when his family comes over, life is hell for me, they wont lift a finger and I am expected to wait on them hand on foot, after 11 hours of night shiift. Every time his mother comes over , he and I end up having a fight, she keeps feeding him some thoughts and the moral of the story is that I have failed to do so many things.
As it is, my daily life revolves around doing household chores, ironing his clothes, ensuring that I have a fresh towel handed over to him after his bath, cooking, serving him food, looking after my baby all these in addition to going to work.
The beginning of this year his mother had come to stay with us, and I was then 5 weeks pregnant. There was so much of drama at home, lots of work, no rest, stress, tension , that I ended up having a miscarriage after 2 weeks.
I took up a job recently after a break of 7 months because, during some of our fights when I was not working, he said " I cannot look after you and your baby, go ask your mother or brother for money for your food, else get a job" looks through my phone, my messages, keeps a tab on my bank account, questions me where I have spent the money. But if I so much as to even happen to ask him about his, his answer his that its none of my business and he can do whatever he wants to do with his money.
I dont know where to start my woes... i dont know how to end it too... i really need to speak to someone about my problem, but I have no one to talk to-- my family is out of the question. Coz I know what my mother's response will be "divorce him". I am so sad and lonely most of the time. I dont know what to do.