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Thread: Gfs past not able to handle

  1. #1

    Unhappy Gfs past not able to handle

    Hello everyone

    I am very depressed ... i am male 21 in a very serious relationship with my gf whos also 21 for more than 3 mnths ... let me start wit some intro ..
    i met this girl on fb ... she told me everything abt her past i.e. her bfs so did i .. she had 2 serious relationships with a cousin but thn that guys father was nt ready for them ... d other one was with a guy of different religion .and 2-3 yrs of relation. this guy cheated her . she wanted me to know everything so she told me n i appreciate her and i accepted her ... she even told me to give her sometime so that she cud give her 100% for me ...after a mnth we started getting physical ...everything was going good ... just that i asked her hw much physical she was before .. she told me that also n apologised me .. she was feeling very bad n guilty for me tht time ... even i had a gf but was very short i had just kissed not more than that... this thing made me upset for few days but thn i was fine ...was going smooth ... we completed 3 mnths n were happy with each other ... suddenly one day she told me not to b physical at bottom parts ..we hav done it before few times ... i dnt knw wht was wrong but she said she wanted a clean relation i agreed to it ...we usually have some naughty chats but thn i noticed she started avoiding that also .... i asked her told me she has to get up early n all but thn later she told me her past is making her upset .... she told me "dont you feel bad that someone has touched me ... i feel like i was used " hearing this i was very upset depressed .. but i love her n i didnt say a word to her or yell at her
    instead i consoled her made her understand that y r u still in ur past ... we have such a great present ... she was fine in few days and she apologised me alot ..she feels so bad for me that becz of her ex who cheated her she is not able to give her 100% to me
    now the problem is with me ... after she told me she was used n all i am depressed ... i cant sleep properly ... i get nightmares of her ex n my gf getting physical ... i get mind****ed ... she dominates me more n sometimes i feel y shud i listen to her but thn i never taunted her or told her anything i just listen to her ... i dnt knw wht to do ... whenever i sit idle i imagine my gf n her ex ... wen i get physical with her after that i think **** yaar wht if she must have done this before with her ex .... i didnt tell my gf abt this problem till now but yesterday i took courage n spoke to her ... had a fight but thn we love each other so much in d end it was fine

    guys hope you understood my problem ... i want to marry this girl ... we both hav told our moms abt us ...but how do i deal with this dreams nightmares ... its disturbing me alot plzz help me

  2. #2
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
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    Forget marriage. You must concentrate on the complexities of your relationship first. You two are clearly hung up on the past relationship of the girl.

    It is understandable for the girl. She feels guilty, used & impure. And no matter how much you console her, you too want the same physical connect. So, even if you do not want it, you would feel she gave herself to her ex, then why not you too.

    And if she gives herself to you in some way, she would feel the feeling of deja vu, as well as you being similar to the previous guy.

    So get past that aspect of the relationship. You two will have to forget the past and concentrate on your lives. Do not measure each and every step of your life with what happened in the past.

  3. #3
    SB Champion Captain o00's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
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    You need some time and things will be OK. You are just 21 dude.. is that really an age to decide about marriage and telling your moms about this all?

  4. #4
    ♡♥£☋¢Ǩ¥ ★☆★ ☾ћi¢Ҝ¥♥♡ Field Marshal sens's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
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    as long as you love the girl, just let the past go... why u wanna ruin the future & your love life for past events??

    u say u love her, then be broadminded enough & try to accept her however she is.. just make sure she doesnt cheat on you. thast all.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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