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Thread: Caught my wife conversations

  1. #1
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    Default Caught my wife conversations

    Mam i need u'r advice effective immediately because i can't decide the situation what to do. Mom i lived in dubai me and my wife got married 2 years ago, but still we don't have any child, because i used to live away from her and comes once in 6 months for a month. But finally in july this year i called my wife to stay with me in dubai for 3 months. Everything was perfect we were enjoying great time together and she left october last month back to india. the problem came when i coincidently open her yahoo messenger by guessing password and it got on target and her yahoo mail opens. To my surprise i found she privately having chats with one of her used to be school mate. i gone through all her conversations history step by step from beginning. She started chatting him since beginning of our marriage as conversations date showed but it was just friendly chat but things started to worse when they started feeling for each other during she stays with me alone in dubai. she used to chat with him when i m away to work full day, she even sent her private pics to him which i took it was not nude but semi nude. i got so pissed off, and i copied all her conversations and sent her via mail and confront her regarding the situation. She started crying and begging me that it was nothing like that i m thinking, she only loves me not other, she said those chats and whatever she wrote was a fluke and not real. she said me that the boy is behind her and teasing her for one year. So she started to chat with him as smooth track to finish it she said she just pretented to be in love with him and in last converstions i found both fought each other and exchanged heated argument and parted ways from chat forever. The only thing is pissing me off she sending private pics to him. Is she telling truth or lieing me i don't know. plzzz suggest me mam y this kind of situation arose which she started to chat with him and plzzz suggest me should i forgive her or leave her.

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Hi!
    Well, her explanations seems a little weak, but she probably got into it just for the excitement of it. Seems like she's had a shock and a fright and will possibly not do a similar thing again. You know, such things may seem exciting at that moment but when reality sets in, no one wants to lose a good marriage. So, yes, I understand that you are hassled and disappointed but if it looks like she's repenting it truly, then you may want to give this another chance.

  3. #3
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    It is quite clear she was virtually cheating on you. Which had the potential to be something bigger if it was her choice.

    And now the choice is yours. You can either be a bigger man (as a man I know its tough) and be aloof yet caring for her or you can live your life with a suspicion (which you probably always will) and wait for the moment when she slips up again and you divorce her.

    The cheating was virtual and not too deep, however, these are the signs that things were not going well with you two as well. it takes 2 to tango.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Mam i need u'r advice effective immediately because i can't decide the situation what to do. Mom i lived in dubai me and my wife got married 2 years ago, but still we don't have any child, because i used to live away from her and comes once in 6 months for a month. But finally in july this year i called my wife to stay with me in dubai for 3 months. Everything was perfect we were enjoying great time together and she left october last month back to india. the problem came when i coincidently open her yahoo messenger by guessing password and it got on target and her yahoo mail opens. To my surprise i found she privately having chats with one of her used to be school mate. i gone through all her conversations history step by step from beginning. She started chatting him since beginning of our marriage as conversations date showed but it was just friendly chat but things started to worse when they started feeling for each other during she stays with me alone in dubai. she used to chat with him when i m away to work full day, she even sent her private pics to him which i took it was not nude but semi nude. i got so pissed off, and i copied all her conversations and sent her via mail and confront her regarding the situation. She started crying and begging me that it was nothing like that i m thinking, she only loves me not other, she said those chats and whatever she wrote was a fluke and not real. she said me that the boy is behind her and teasing her for one year. So she started to chat with him as smooth track to finish it she said she just pretented to be in love with him and in last converstions i found both fought each other and exchanged heated argument and parted ways from chat forever. The only thing is pissing me off she sending private pics to him. Is she telling truth or lieing me i don't know. plzzz suggest me mam y this kind of situation arose which she started to chat with him and plzzz suggest me should i forgive her or leave her.
    Brother,
    Relationships do not End with a stumbling block. You have to put them aside and learn to forgive.

    I agree that your wife is at fault. No Doubting that. But, I think she deserves another Chance. First mistakes are meant to be Forgiven, or the other person would not get a change to improve. Only after we make a mistake, get caught, do we realize that we were not supposed to do that in first place. "We learn from our mistakes".

    About the Semi-Nude pics, buddy most of our anger arises from our ego. Don't be the husband, be a man here. She is a woman, and she made a mistake. She is in such age, and such things do get us excited. What gets us over them is our love, respect and support. Trust me, if you forgive her, she'd respect you for it. Don't be angry by thinking too much about it. When we over-think, we often assume things that have not happened and will never happen.

    I will tell you one Fact about Human Nature :

    "If you have an option of cheating on your partner, and you are given a guarantee that your Partner would never come to know, you would go ahead and cheat"

    That is Human nature. Some do it for Sex, others for Importance or emotional purpose.

    What gets us through is our Love/Respect/Care for our Partner which takes time to build. These things will happen, such situations would arise all your life, you both have to be mature and move on.

    You need to tell her that she crossed the line, but you love her and are willing to forgive her BUT with a promise that any such thing would never happen again. This would save your Relation, build respect and solve your problems.

    G'day
    Miss you Dadaji

  5. #5
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    Forgiving her would encourage her to cheat just one more time.

    Up to you. To forgive or otherwise.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Mam i need u'r advice effective immediately because i can't decide the situation what to do. Mom i lived in dubai me and my wife got married 2 years ago, but still we don't have any child, because i used to live away from her and comes once in 6 months for a month. But finally in july this year i called my wife to stay with me in dubai for 3 months. Everything was perfect we were enjoying great time together and she left october last month back to india. the problem came when i coincidently open her yahoo messenger by guessing password and it got on target and her yahoo mail opens. To my surprise i found she privately having chats with one of her used to be school mate. i gone through all her conversations history step by step from beginning. She started chatting him since beginning of our marriage as conversations date showed but it was just friendly chat but things started to worse when they started feeling for each other during she stays with me alone in dubai. she used to chat with him when i m away to work full day, she even sent her private pics to him which i took it was not nude but semi nude. i got so pissed off, and i copied all her conversations and sent her via mail and confront her regarding the situation. She started crying and begging me that it was nothing like that i m thinking, she only loves me not other, she said those chats and whatever she wrote was a fluke and not real. she said me that the boy is behind her and teasing her for one year. So she started to chat with him as smooth track to finish it she said she just pretented to be in love with him and in last converstions i found both fought each other and exchanged heated argument and parted ways from chat forever. The only thing is pissing me off she sending private pics to him. Is she telling truth or lieing me i don't know. plzzz suggest me mam y this kind of situation arose which she started to chat with him and plzzz suggest me should i forgive her or leave her.
    Bro, it seems she wanted some excitement and sending her semi nude pics is unethical. The best thing you can do ask her what she really wants you or him. If she says u , u can ask whts her logic of sending him her semi nude pics and tell her if u had done the same thing what she would have thought and what wud have done. Then tell i cud have done same to you. Make her understand flirting, romancing r different n marriage is different institute altogether where she herself agreed to abide by laws of marriage.

  7. #7
    Moderator Major General galaxy_resident's Avatar
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    Well the reason your wife gave you is a flimsy and baseless one. I dont think she herself understood what she was saying. A friendly chat is one thing, but your wife went way beyond that. Anyways, she must be really shaken and agitated by all this revelation and I dont think she would dare to repeat such a thing. One thing you can do is bring your wife to live with you permanently to Dubai so it can minimize the chances of cheating. This is still not a fail-safe method but I cant think of any safer method than this.
    Fight your Fears and you will be in Battle Forever
    Control your Fears and you will be Free Forever



  8. #8
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    Well you really need to test her and see if she is telling the truth or not. Have an eye on her and see what happens.

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    ur ideal marriage is over , when a man/women indulg in virtual s3x ,he/she will seek real s3x too . I am not blaming ur wife ,but she might hav gone for real . . If not wid the online guy then with some other guy for sure.
    I can only pray for you .
    But if u too are indulgd wid some other girl . .then u mustnt be disappointed that much

  10. #10
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    Woh kya he na ki, itta sab hoyeke baad, maza nahi rehta shaadi mein. There will always be doubt in you, till you breath the last.

    Insaani fidrat he ki kuch naya try karein, par insaan hamesha bhool jaata he ki waise karein to kya effect hota shaadi shuda zindagi ke upar.

    Galati insaan se hi hoti he bolna alag baat he. Galati ka bhi ek level hota he, socho agar same to same galati tumse hoti toh drama hungama kerke tere pe case daldeti, [u know her better]

    Main toh kehta hoon jab infidelity ke kaaran kitni auratein mard ko chorr sakti hain, tum kyon nahi?

    Agar main tum hota toh kabka dhakka maar ke bahar nikaaldeta, upar ek paisa bhi nahi deta, saboot ke taur pe woh saari proof court mein pesh karta aur divorce le leta. Up to u brother.

  11. #11
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    Best option for a bachelor is never to get involved with any woman.Listen friend you did not come into this world by your own will and choice.It was because of the actions of two other human beings your parents.Life before your marriage may have been quite simple and carefree for you but once another person in your case your wife got involved complications naturally would arise and have arisen.What I am trying to say here is that bachelors lives in general are easier in terms of freedom and home related stress whereas a married man is under unimaginable stress which is caused to him by his wife.My advice is divorce her,forget her and return to your carefree bachelor days.

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    Default give her another chance

    i am very much agree with a_decent_1
    give her another chance.

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    your wife at an extent has betrayed you.... she is enjoying herself with a stranger... chatting and sending semi nude pics to a stranger, it gives a wrong impression on your wife... so what, if you have to leave her and go to work, she's reacting as if you are not giving her the love she deserve.. she's not loyal to you.. what if you did something like this, she would have created a scene... she's not trustworthy.. sorry..!! she deserve to be purnished severely, she broke the faith you had for her... you should keep an eye on her, to know what she's upto..!!

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    hi...


    good that u confronted her.. she is possibly telling lies.. coz if she was not interested & guy followed her , then she wouldnt be replying to him...


    its not fluke that she sent him pictures either..

    just made her visa permanent & take her with you forever... distance might have made her cheat on u.

    try & act romantic & appreciate her talkt o her everyday... a lack of feel of love might have made her wander
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

  15. #15
    Young Gun Asylumofdevil 2's Avatar
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    Listen Dude..........FORGIVENESS IS NEXT TO GODLINESS !....
    i suggest you to forgive her...sometimes things happen awkwardly in which we dont have control....BUT BUT....by taking IMPULSIVE STEPS out in rage may screw you in future for not taking smooth step or giving a chance to your wife.if so then the 3 main feelings that comes from our character defects that all humans have........the big three ...GUILT, SHAME, REGRET WILL NOT LET YOU LIVE A HAPPY LIFE AFTER.....so cool down and forgive her for the FIRST AND LAST TIME...........JUST TRY TO FORGET IT thinking you saw a movie or a bad dream.....sometimes we also this VIRTUAL SEX on net...its just a momentary satisfaction which even we males/females hide from our inner souls...hope u got my point...

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