I am a simple guy.26+ Single.Never had a GF.I am facing an issue that i have not shared with anybody fearing rejection.I don't trust anyone with such a delicate matter.The only reason i am sharing here is because my identity is safe.
The issue: My elder brother just got married.I live with my brother and sister-in-law.Sometimes i get very uncomfortable around my sister-in-law when my brother is not at home.I get bad thoughts in my mind.On other occasions i am ok.We talk comfortably.
Let me tell you how it all started.
I was sick and bed-ridden for few days and watched a lot of TV.I watched a popular crime show a lot.Everything was fine.But then i saw a few episodes about murder and sexual-crimes.Crimes that were committed by people whom victims trusted.After that was very scared.I begin to imagine why would someone do such a thing.Then if i could do such a thing.I begin to put myself in such position and was scared to death.I lost trust in myself.
That day i began to shiver when i was alone with my sister-in-law.I felt like i could hurt her.Then i started reading hanuman chalisa and left the house.After a while the feeling subsided.
After few months when i got well.The feeling went away.I stopped asking such stupid questions and thinking if i could do such a thing.But i did not share this with anybody.
But now it has started again.But not as intense as before.
Also now i feel more awkward around any girl.
Is it normal?Is it just my sexual frustration?I don't know.I have lost my peace of mind.
Please help me!!
Also please answer with a little sensitivity.