Aunt Preeto and others, I really need your help.
I came home from work today evening and I found my son crying in his bedroom. He is only 12 years old. My wife had gone for her Yoga class. I asked him what happened and he didn't say anything. I was really worried as he and I are really close and he never hides anything from me. He is doing very well in school, and he even goes for cricket classes (on friday and saturday) and guitar lessons on monday and wednesday. He is usually a really happy child. I kept asking him what the problem was and all he said was that he would get into trouble. I assured him that I wouldn't scold him.
My son buys DVDs of movies and TV shows and watches them. He also has a TV and DVD player in his room. In August, he bought this show called 'Ghost Whisperer'. I check the content to make sure it is appropriate and sure enough, it was. He used to watch an episode every night after dinner before going to bed but my wife and I noticed that he closed his room door whenever he watched it. My wife thought it was so that he could get more scared in a dark room. I suspected that he might be masturbating to Jennifer Love Hewitt but I never said anything as it is normal at that age and there isn't anything inappropriate on the show. Just a few cleavage shots. The computer is in the living room and has parental control software so I know for sure that he won't be able to watch porn or anything. Not that he will try. But I want to be on the safe side. One week later, he stopped watching the show. I thought he finished all the episodes.
This was all in August.
Today, he was crying and asked him what happened. But he didn't say anything. I got really worried and immediately called my wife and asked if anything was wrong. Then she told me everything. She said that in August, she had walked in on him masturbating with a scene of Ghost Whisperer paused. She told me that she confiscated the show and that she told him that he can no longer lock his door. She said that today morning, she found a photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt (a card from the DVD set) under his mattress and she told me that she scolded him. She hung up saying we would discuss the matter when she came back.
First, I was upset why she didn't tell me what happened in August.
I went to my son and told him that I just found out what happened in August and what happened today and that he wasn't in trouble. I asked him why he was crying and that I wouldn't scold him. He told me that my wife told him in August that those who masturbate go to hell and that getting an *****ion is a sin and that only bad people get one. She told him that God will punish him if he gets an *****ion or masturbates. He started saying sorry and that he hadn't masturbated after that at all. He said he was crying because he kept getting *****ions whenever he thought of Hewitt and that he didn't want to go to hell. He confessed saying that he had masturbated to that photo under the bed only two days ago after August. I consoled him saying that it is not a sin and that he won't get punished or sent to hell or anything like that.
My wife got home and both of us argued. I was upset for not telling me all this and for telling out son all of that. I told her that she has scarred him so much that he is terrified of getting an *****ion! She still stands by what she has done and punished him by cancelling his cricket classes for one month. She comes from a conservative family and nothing I say is convincing her!
Please help me. I don't know what else to say to her! She even confiscated other Jennifer Love Hewitt DVDs like Tuxedo and Garfield She thinks that act will make him a bad person and ruin his studies. I know for sure that my son is very responsible and has always maintained good marks. He is outgoing, has lots of friends, etc. I don't see the harm in letting him masturbate before going to bed.
What should I do and say? Please. I don't know what to do.
This was the photo/card that was found. It is not vulgar at all. : http://www.sugarvilla.com/images/lar...ess-stills.jpg