Guy cant commit

[seashore]

Hello Ppl,

I really like a guy at my work& he says he likes me too, however his behavior says otherwise. We have known each other for almost a year now& initially we used to talk for hours over the phone(we used to do the same shift then) & now we hardly talk over the ph or in the office. When i asked him he said its coz we r doing different shifts so times not flexible. I'm 28 n hes 26, when i asked him about marrying me he said he cant think about marriage now,it would take him a few years. We haven't had sex yet,but he does want to have sex & see how it goes & if we fall in love will take it forward. He hasn't forced me for sex yet. But when I talk about marriage it puts him off. I feel like hes pulling away from me. I really really like this guy a lot & don't want to lose him. Please HELP.

[o00]

Well he is not ready. You just need to move on.

[Jazztech]

It is clearly shown here, that he is not into you girl. He is not ready to marry you but can have sex , Sounds desperate to me anyways i think he is pulling all the string from you, your relationship is going towards a failure, so think about it
god bless you

[a_decent_1]

Hello Ppl,

I really like a guy at my work& he says he likes me too, however his behavior says otherwise. We have known each other for almost a year now& initially we used to talk for hours over the phone(we used to do the same shift then) & now we hardly talk over the ph or in the office. When i asked him he said its coz we r doing different shifts so times not flexible. I'm 28 n hes 26, when i asked him about marrying me he said he cant think about marriage now,it would take him a few years. We haven't had sex yet,but he does want to have sex & see how it goes & if we fall in love will take it forward. He hasn't forced me for sex yet. But when I talk about marriage it puts him off. I feel like hes pulling away from me. I really really like this guy a lot & don't want to lose him. Please HELP.

Desperation always makes it worse.
Desperation kills your ability to see.

The guy would never marry you. If he were in love with you, he would marry you in a heartbeat. Look, we guys know when a girl cannot live without us. And we play with such girls as it is an ego boost. It turns us on when they give us importance, talk dirty to us, it feels good when we tell people that this girl is madly behind me and I dont care, but we are instantly turned off when marriage is offered because there are only so many times we can say no..

Nobody falls in love "after" having sex.

You can either escape this relationship now, with your respect and virginity(present relation) in place.

Or, you can get thrown out after he uses you for sex.

You choose.

G'day

[archer_paradise]

Hello Ppl,

I really like a guy at my work& he says he likes me too, however his behavior says otherwise. We have known each other for almost a year now& initially we used to talk for hours over the phone(we used to do the same shift then) & now we hardly talk over the ph or in the office. When i asked him he said its coz we r doing different shifts so times not flexible. I'm 28 n hes 26, when i asked him about marrying me he said he cant think about marriage now,it would take him a few years. We haven't had sex yet,but he does want to have sex & see how it goes & if we fall in love will take it forward. He hasn't forced me for sex yet. But when I talk about marriage it puts him off. I feel like hes pulling away from me. I really really like this guy a lot & don't want to lose him. Please HELP.

He is following the new age dating rule of physical intimacy before a commitment. You too are pushing an unnatural shoving communication down his throat. Things must progress well outside the bedroom before the reach inside it.
Just let him know that you are interested in more 'talk' and nothing else and lets see how that goes.

[ariesgirl]

at times leaving some people are the best decision one can take in their life..same is the thing with you and him..just leave him..he wants a physical relationship not a love based relationship..

[Inspector Pathan]

signs are clear no marriage bells....so now you decide......

[nanoni]

The best thing is to move on. Keep your head high you deserve better.

[mysticmantra]

Hello Ppl,

I really like a guy at my work& he says he likes me too, however his behavior says otherwise. We have known each other for almost a year now& initially we used to talk for hours over the phone(we used to do the same shift then) & now we hardly talk over the ph or in the office. When i asked him he said its coz we r doing different shifts so times not flexible. I'm 28 n hes 26, when i asked him about marrying me he said he cant think about marriage now,it would take him a few years. We haven't had sex yet,but he does want to have sex & see how it goes & if we fall in love will take it forward. He hasn't forced me for sex yet. But when I talk about marriage it puts him off. I feel like hes pulling away from me. I really really like this guy a lot & don't want to lose him. Please HELP.

It seems the u r desperate and the guy is a free bird. u have two options ist either wait for him and second ask how much time he requires to think abt marriage.

[pupa stage]

Hes just looking for a physical relationship and then he will say No it does not work between us. He just wants to use you my dear for his physical needs. Just shut the door on him. Do never propose him again. Your age is of marriage and get settled now with a guy who loves and respects you. Move over this guy.

[sachingulyani]

He will not marry you even if you will have sex with him that is my guarantee. Try to go away from him slowly. Don't give him too much of importance and according to me sex is a big NO to this guy. Find some one else who is equally seeking the commitment as you are seeking.
Just slowly slowly start ignoring him and do not pay too much attention to him, try to be happy without him, even on phone conversation keep on talking about your other guy friend like he is too good, decent and all. I am sure doing this much he will run after you but at that time too don't let yourself for him.

Best of Luck...

[RoleModel007]

The best relationship advice I can give you is: make sure you're the crazy one.

[seashore]

thank you for all your responses....its help me decide that i need to move on ...though it would be a bit difficult...but i know that will pass....

[Sweet Mimi]

hmmmm guys are like this... sex yes but commitment NO!! beware my dear.. its not sex that will bring love and take it forward... its feelings generated between the two that lead to sex... personally am against pre marital sex.... know what ou do in life.... dont do things that will destroy your life!! liking a guy doesnt mean you should let yourself being used.... and dumped away!!!