I am from UK. I have been in a relationshp with my bf for almost 10 years, we were together since high school.
We had some long distance relationship time in between for a couple years. Everything was never great.
We had tons of fights. Esp in the past 2-3 years. It was so bad that we broke up for a while too. During that while,
I was miserable and so was he. I was so depressed, sad and he was too! My friends were trying to cheer me up
and introduced me to some other guys. I wasn't interested though. I met a guy, he was super hot and looked like a celebrity (let's call him X).
Not only was he 6'2" tall, he had the looks of an actor and an amazing athletic body too.
Btw, I am also quite pretty but I haven't had attention from SUCH a hot guy ever.
Anyway, when I met him, I just wanted to see if he was interested, I hardly talked to him - we hung out with other friends. That's it.
Now, I got back together with my ex (my present bf) -- because we both were so miserable and couldn't survive without each other.
I never met any of those guys again ever.
Me and my bf have been working on our relationship sine then. It has been a few months, but i feel so broken.
He has said way too much and it hurts a lot. However, I am healing and so is he.
Our goal is to make the relationship work because we love each other so much.
Last weekend, i went out with some girlfriends to party. It was girls night for fun. We were dancing.
I am usually a very strict person, in terms of dancing with anyone. I do not entertain any other guys at all ever no matter how hot they are.
Anyway, this guy (super hot guy i met before- X) was also at the same bar. He asked my friend if I was the girl with the "boyfriend probelms." She said yes.
Then he asked me if I had a bf. I did not answer him, because I was curious to know what he would do if I wasn't as from the last meeting, he seemed disinterested.
But that night, he was all over me. He started grinding me, and I was flattered by the attention.
This is a guy I would fantasize about. I got so turned on and let him do what he wanted. He was just grinding with me, then holding me tight and holding my hands etc while grinding. I loved it. But, I did not make out or have sex or anything with him. I stopped him when he was going to start kissing me.
I feel sad because I feel so guilty that I did this. I love my bf and dont want to lose him.
I feel really upset and guilty all the time.
But, I continue to think about that guy. I have made up my mind to be with my bf, but there are other things that keep comign to my mind:
I am pretty hot, but my bf is not that good looking and is also short. Not to be shallow or anything, but everyone consistently tells me that I deserve better.
Apart from looks, he is also not a hardworking guy, doesnt have a proper job either. Also, he is getting a pot belly. I have been telling him to join a gym, but he keeps ignoring me and whatever I say. He never works on anyhting and takes me for granted. I have a perfect figure, I work out. I feel good about it.
The other guy(X) is rich, hot, well-settled. I feel too attracted, but I do not want to
cheat. I want to be with my man(my bf) and I love him too much to hurt him. I want to wait for him to get a better job, get in shape etc. as he has asked me for some time.
But, I feel sad and unappreciated with him sometimes too.....
What am i upto??!!!!! Is this normal?