Confused about marriage

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Confused about marriage

This would be the last place where I would have thought of putting my confusion, but as many a people know me here, I finally took courage to put it here.

Hi all,

Bahut confusion he ki kiss type ki ladki se shaadi karoon.

I have seen my friends who have gotten married.

For eg one of my friend got married to a dehati, gaon ki type girl. End result, got a wife, who cannot add up to family income. Now that guy is telling, i should have married a working type girl.

Another of my friend got married to a working girl, and now complains that wife not there to take care of household.

ON the other hand I have seen lot of instances of people who say its better not to get married at all, seeing my brothers plight after he got married. He has had a troubled marriage and in turn we as a family were put in trouble multiple times. He was silent type only always calm and composed until one day he got fed up of nagging wife and her tantrums of throwing vessels and nicely beat her and ended up in trouble.

One of my friend after twelve years of marriage is telling, there is really no point in getting married, whats the gaurantee that your partner will remain by your side until you breath the last. Whats the point that your partner will always be loving and caring. I should not have gotten married at all, if I knew this was in store for me in the future.

So itna sab dekne sunne ke baad kya karein banda?

Uske oopar akele rehjane ka darr bhi aati kabhi kabhi.

What to do?

[o00]

I don't know what to say but you are really confused. Only God or 'you' can help yourself. If I still have to say anything. I would say- go out, make a GF, marry her without thinking of the future etc.. just for the sake of thrill if you know what I mean.

[complete_man]

Kabhi kisi ne kuch +ve nahi kahan shaadi ke baare me?

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

You laughing at me man.

Feeling so very bad.

I feel about marriage, like entering a dark room


You've not lived my life to laugh at me.

Only good thing I've seen is my elders.

Thats the positive thing.

Don't laugh at me. Please.

Kabhi kisi ne kuch +ve nahi kahan shaadi ke baare me?

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Hi all,

Am tearfully writing this.

Bas aise hi kood jaaon kya?

I've seen many a people repent.

Other than God help you.

Some clear thought.

Though I want someone filmy. Is the extra thing am looking.

Agar koi aisa milbhi jaye toh... What's the guarantee that she wont change.

[007RIKY]

Baba, Life me itne calculation karoge to kuch bhi sahi nahi hoga.

ever think why many love marriages fails? or many arrange marriages are successful?

There is no set formula for life.

Aapko jo acchi lage usse hi karo, not jo dusron ko acchi lage. Gaon ki ladki bhi sahar me adjust kar leti hai aur sahar ki ladki gaon me bhi. Matter is what is their mind setup. Just remember 1 thing, status must be same. No matter housewife hai ya working,

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Where are those people...

Galaxy resident

Preeto maaam

Decent

Sweet mimi

Archer paradise

Sens

Decision jald hi leni he.

Please understand.

Gudu ka life ka sawaal he.

[suryasuman89]

go ahead guddu ji..
dariye mat ,shaadi kariye ..
yeah jo aap ke maan me insecurity aur dil me jo shaadi ko lekar daar hai usse nikal dijiye..
dehati type ladki agar ghar chala leti hai toh problem kahan hai,lekin wahi pe agar ek working lady ghar pe zyada dhyaan nehi de payegi aur isse bache kharap ho jaye toh working lady ko marriage karne se kya fayeda..

so do one thing-,padhi likhi, highly qualified ladki se hi shaadi karo,jaise ki M.Sc,M.Com,MA,MCA,MBA,M.Pharma ya phir aap ke medical line se jude hue koi profession,teacher /lectures..agar aisi ladki milti hai,toh aap jo dehati ladki bol ke na pasand kar rahe hai,yeah point cancel ho jayega,aap logo me understanding bana rahega(as u r also highly qualified person)..
aur agar ladki qualified hai toh,shaadi ke baad jarurat padi toh job bhi kar sakti hai..

so my last wish ki aap dil aur dimag se shaadi se jude sabhi -ve khayalat nikal de aur aram se shaadi kare

[IzQueen]

Hi, You know marriage is not a game indeed... choosing the right partner is difficult... It's not the case for everyone... It's all about attitude.. You should choose a girl who is popular, understanding, loving, caring, hard-working, most of all Honest...!!! Be patient and make the right choice....She's a working girl or simply a housewife, that's does'nt really matter... It's all about attitude as i said...

[theachiever]

Hey buddy keep calm and first be clear what kind of girl you need? Others have their own experience it does not mean you will the experience the same too. It is just a myth.You never know your life may be better too .Don't be too specific with your wish list because that will only end up adding pressure and worries to you.If you are interested in someone just get to know them and go with the natural flow.I agree with IzQueen the right attitude matters a lot.

Don't worry things will b fine. Best wishes......

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Thank you Izqueen, surya, suraj, rikesh for moral support.


Let me put my problem in detail.

It’s about experiences.

My brother got married as I already told you. Newlyweds began living with us as a joint family. Lots of tantrums my brother’s wife did, as a result daily fighting. One fine day they asked for partition. That was painful but it happened. It happened in a very bad way.

Now that I have already seen fighting happening between elders and my brother’s wife, I don’t know whether after getting married to start live with my elders or go separate [don’t want to take chance of seeing that live show of fighting] But on the other hand elders are old, can’t take care of themselves. On top of it, if I leave elders and go, society will tell, in old age left off elders and went.

Thought of making a seperate house just in case wife turns out to be jhagdelu type, before getting married, but that is also not possible, nearby house also will be a separate one; it will have the same effect as leaving and going. Brother lives separate, sister also lives far away.

[veeru paaji]

gudu sir, kaamyaab insaan wahi hota hai jo har condition me thande dimag se kaam le
and abt marriage.....jodi to ooperwala banata hai
arranged marriage me nayi dulhan kore kagaj ke samaan hoti hai...aap uspe jaisa bhi likhiye wo waisa hi dikhega....
i live in joint family and i have no problem...kam se kam meri aur nisha ki taraf se to nahi.....
bad experiences sabko hote hain ...tumhe bhi hain
aur shadi ke baad ye hoga ya wo hoga.....kisko pata hai
go with your heart .....not with ears and eyes

[RoleModel007]

Dear Gudu,

Remember the first day you went to school, first time you rode your bicycle, first time you wrote your metric exam, first time you took swimming classes, first time you took her out for coffee and many other first times in your life. Every first time had its own share of making you feel worried. But look how it turned out. It may not be picture perfect; but I am sure it made you a better person by now. This institution of marriage won't be any different.
Of-course it would help if you do your homework better and choose the right kind of girl for you rather than blindly taking the plunge. Then it is all up to you how successful you could make your marriage. You (and your partner) can make it as rosy or as painful as it sounds from others. It's up to you and it's you writing the script for that.

Remember, marriage may have many pains but celibacy has no pleasures. All I am saying is (as it is written in your profile) - Just take the bloody shot.

P.S: If it helps - Even James Bond gets married. Watch 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' (1969) with George Lazenby.

[adirocksit]

Ek quote hai "Be the person you want to meet"......so if you know how you are, you would need to marry a same type of girl. I mean not exactly similar, but you and your wife thoughts should match. I think you may cut out the "good looking" part because you are a little late for that. Although, you may still find a younger girl to marry but its not easy.

Now, one more thing, don't predict how your life is going to be, by looking at others. Instead, you should learn from them. Get to Know what mistakes they did, so that you don't repeat them. Remember, marriage isn't the mistake......mistakes happen while you are in the marriage. So you're in a very good position to live a perfect married life, because you would know how not to be bad at it.

Good Luck !

[007RIKY]

Look you cannot predict how a person would be in 1 or 2 meeting, Even some time people are so capable of hiding there real nature that even in love marriages i have seen this situation, but brother, we can not live on hypothesis. We can not predict what will happen in the next moment then how can you predict your future wife should put pressure upon you to live separately, may be, she be so eminent that she will bring you elder brother to your home back & you all will live under one roof.

Future can bring you anything, but thinking of a bad future based on the present of others will ruin you present also.

I will say, don't think, go & marry the one you like most, who fits you & your family most.