View Poll Results: Is she fooling me ?

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  • Yes

    4 66.67%
  • No

    2 33.33%
  • May be its normal

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Thread: Confused for the first time about a girl : I guess I am in Love Pls advice

  1. #1
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    Default Confused for the first time about a girl : I guess I am in Love Pls advice

    So here are the details - There is this girl I met and I like her .Funny part is I have been a player all along until I met her but fate has it ,there have been two three incidents which have happened ,which are basically making me re-evaluate my stance on this relationship.Background- She is 3 years elder to me,a divorcee,that isnt a issue with me and to those who dont know we met via shaadi.com.Nevertheless she pretty much came clean about her past very much including the shitty marriage she had ,except one fact which happened after her divorce ,basically there was this guy who now was bothering her and sorta stalking her ,and she did make it clear to him that she didnt wish to meet him or associate with him anymore and the background that she gave me was that he was a family friend and their parents at one point post her divorce wanted them to get married ,but things didnt materialize .So i wasnt interfering because it was between two family friends and I just thought the guy was a total looser.But this sunday while I was at her place ,I found one of her old phone and curious that I am ,I opened the text messages between this guy and her and there were I love yous and I miss you .Now after realizing I found out ,she came clean about it and told me that she didnt tell me about him only because this thing lasted for 8-10 days and she was vulnerable and thats why the I love yous and all ,n there was nothing and it passed .Now what I dont understand is I am 24 ,and I might have been with more that 100 girls since my job involves a lot of travelling ,and I dated a couple of girls too for a year or more but never have I said I love you to anyone .She claims they were together for only 10 days and she said I love you ,but nevertheless I wanted to believe her and I let this one go .Today when we met I saw some guys mesg where he was sending her kisses and then she was asking him if they can talk on Skype >? I dont understand if she has a bf ,why is there the need to talk to another guy who isnt even her friend whom she again met long time back on shaadi.com and they didnt click but now she claims they are good friends and they talk once or twice on skype ? Is that normal ? I am really confused or u can say vulnerable because of my feelings for her ,and if there are any ladies who could give me some advice ,would be much appreciated.If she is fooling around with me and keeping her options open or is it normal whats happening and I am just over reacting ??
    thanks and kind regards

  2. #2
    SB Addict archer_paradise's Avatar
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    Well Im not a lady but here are some points:-
    1. You're interaction level with other women cannot determine her mental state. Maybe she jumps to I love you's too soon.
    2. If he's stalking her, the best person to handle that situation is her family and herself.
    3. Normalacy in relationships is subjective. You might find something strange while she doesnt. But clearly it looks like she is confused and has other relationships.
    If she can get rid of all those and you're ready to accept her then go on with this fling. Or else, move on. Who wants to deliberately get into a mess, right?

  3. #3
    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    All girls are dead in this world? that you are after this divorcee who, damn sure is playing around.... she isnt someone who looks sincere!! realise one thing.... a marriage to fail is not only about one person being the culprit... it is about both... a saying says, taali ek haath se nahi bajti. same here!! i agree there are genuine cases where really its the fault of only one partner... but here it seem to me your girl isnt a saint... am sure she has contributed a lot towards the failure of her first marriage... now you want to be a second pray thats your choice....

    but am telling you... this girl is playing around... enjoying life with different person and seeking attention!!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

  4. #4
    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    Bud, just leave this girl and have the fun you have been having with 1000 more girls. You are just 24, so come the fcuk on. Enjoy the time mate, get married to a different girl after 3-4 years.

  5. #5
    confused soul Captain ariesgirl's Avatar
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    i won't suggest you to go fwd with this girl..the sooner you leave her,lesser is your burden...may be she'll do some emotional blackmailing if you leave her..ignore it..stop all contacts with her asap..

  6. #6
    SB Addict mysticmantra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vince2408 View Post
    So here are the details - There is this girl I met and I like her .Funny part is I have been a player all along until I met her but fate has it ,there have been two three incidents which have happened ,which are basically making me re-evaluate my stance on this relationship.Background- She is 3 years elder to me,a divorcee,that isnt a issue with me and to those who dont know we met via shaadi.com.Nevertheless she pretty much came clean about her past very much including the shitty marriage she had ,except one fact which happened after her divorce ,basically there was this guy who now was bothering her and sorta stalking her ,and she did make it clear to him that she didnt wish to meet him or associate with him anymore and the background that she gave me was that he was a family friend and their parents at one point post her divorce wanted them to get married ,but things didnt materialize .So i wasnt interfering because it was between two family friends and I just thought the guy was a total looser.But this sunday while I was at her place ,I found one of her old phone and curious that I am ,I opened the text messages between this guy and her and there were I love yous and I miss you .Now after realizing I found out ,she came clean about it and told me that she didnt tell me about him only because this thing lasted for 8-10 days and she was vulnerable and thats why the I love yous and all ,n there was nothing and it passed .Now what I dont understand is I am 24 ,and I might have been with more that 100 girls since my job involves a lot of travelling ,and I dated a couple of girls too for a year or more but never have I said I love you to anyone .She claims they were together for only 10 days and she said I love you ,but nevertheless I wanted to believe her and I let this one go .Today when we met I saw some guys mesg where he was sending her kisses and then she was asking him if they can talk on Skype >? I dont understand if she has a bf ,why is there the need to talk to another guy who isnt even her friend whom she again met long time back on shaadi.com and they didnt click but now she claims they are good friends and they talk once or twice on skype ? Is that normal ? I am really confused or u can say vulnerable because of my feelings for her ,and if there are any ladies who could give me some advice ,would be much appreciated.If she is fooling around with me and keeping her options open or is it normal whats happening and I am just over reacting ??
    thanks and kind regards
    It seems she has lot of things to reveal and she is acting a iceberg. coz her each statements r contradictory. refrain urself frm this gal.

  7. #7
    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pds_bhullar View Post
    Hello everybody i am suffering from last 1.5yrs of my life in dark stage.1.5back i was successful business man having good income and i got married to girl of my hometown.Before marriage she was very good to me &we spoke for atleast 3-4hours on phone daily but after marriage she change alot.she start creating problem for me like saying wrong about my parents,fighting with me on small issue like if i came home late or if came drunk.slowly slowly i start hating her&i start sleeping separate room.now i do not talk to her from last month because she came from her mother house after staying 1month and start fighting me same night after coming.5 months back when i was suffering suddenly a girl came into my life & said i was looking you from last 3months & like you alot.I told her everything about my life and about wife&she said i still want to continue.so our relationship starts first i think she is doing timepass with me because her marriage is on 6nov 2013 but slowly slowly she start helping me like giving me money,bring food for me when i am hungry,call me everyday,came to my office sometimes and spend 1hour with me hug me,kiss me,she saying i still love you after marriage and came to your office to meet you.after her lot of support i also start loving her & love her lot.onother hand my wife do not bother to prepare lunch for me or do not care when i came or go outside&my parents still asking me to give her last chance before breaking our marriage .i was successful in 1.5yrs back having 3lakhs in my account but nowdays 0 is my balance,continuously meting with bad incidents.i do not know that to do in my life help
    So,
    You have been cheating on your wife and you claim "She" is the bad one ! Wow.. !! Kudos to you.

    I have some serious opinion about this "well wisher" girl of yours but I am trying hard to control myself. Lets say, she is not a good lady as if she loves you, she should marry you and not plan on cheating on her future husband.

    I am sure your wife does not have mental problems. There MUST be a reason for her behaviour. Find that reason and do something about it. I sincerely do not want your wife to be with a man like you but still, I would advice you to work it out with her. Discuss your problems with your wife and not a third person.

    G'day
    Miss you Dadaji

  8. #8
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    Hey dude i thing sweet mimi is right lisetn v dnt knw eachother bt as an boy i can suggest u one thing tht u can take sum tests on her tht u came to realized tht yes she i d 1 who made for u tht u can survive the whole ur lyf with her bt only if ur satiesfied thn only n dnt make her came to know tht ur taking an exam of her.... All d bst

  9. #9
    New Born true_lover's Avatar
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    Yes this girl is definitely playing around, and isn't serious about you at all. You're quite correct when you say that if she is truly committed to you and sees you as her bf, then there should be no need to get close to other guys and exchange kisses and "I love you's" via msging or whatever..! Seriously, the words "I love you" are so ultimate and strong that we don't say it that easily to someone random, no matter what our weakness is. I bet she loves no one! She is definitely fooling around.

    Ditch her. You definitely deserve better than an older divorcee who plays around with guys !

  10. #10
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    First of all i want to say to all the members who are just referring divorcee girls in bad image....pls its not like that....a divorcee girl can also enjoy and have her emotions and life to live.....if a marriage fails that does not mean that only men have right to have fun post that....girls can have as well.....its a girls choice that how she want to live and conduct her life....because she is single.....secondly for a divorcee girl there are a lot of social frustrations and such things can happen out of societal frustrations and when some guy gives importance to you ...one just goes on with it.....life is a hell and such acts are outcome of that

    yes in this particular case may be she is somewhere wrong but sir you need to once sit down with her and make her clear that you need every information ( how bad it is ) about her past till date....and there should be no secrets between you two.....just be firm with it......she has got a real love in you after a long time so may be she wants to hide her recent past......look these are some times silly things which appear big so just calmly ask her to stop it all and make her throw that other phone and delete her skype account explaining her the importance of trust. If still you find her doing suspicious things ...just quit the relationship

  11. #11
    New Born sachingulyani's Avatar
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    I am sorry that I am not a lady and replying to your post.

    first of all What Neha said is right, being a divorcee doesn't make any difference.

    I would suggest that if you are at the starting point of your relationship then go slow. She said one guy is harassing her and she was in relation with that guy earlier. She said it lasted for 8-10 days which cannot be digested by me. Another matter is some guy is sending her the kisses and she inviting her to skype for talk is a serious issue.

    Get apart and move on as quick. do not fall in this whirlpool of mud.

    all the best,

    Enjoy with 100 girls as you said but remember one thing that girl should not be involve with other guy. and two timing is also a big NO.

  12. #12
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    Your post doesn't clearly specify if you're dating this lady or not. It seems you are just getting to know each other and probably are friends at this point. Considering which, it's unreasonable for you to exercise any authority on her - as to who she chats or meets, romantically or otherwise. Of course, if you were dating her then situation changes considerably.

    You should give her the benefit of the doubt and try to look at the situation from her point of view. She's 27, single and has every right to keep her options open unless she meets someone she'd like to commit to. If you're not dating her then you are also one of her options. As long as the status quo exists (i.e. uncertainty remains) it is the sensible approach.

    Also, she is a divorcee, and as Rajvanshi pointed out there are several societal (and other) frustrations associated with that status, constraining/questioning a woman's otherwise normal activities. Divorced-men are almost never subject to such scrutiny. As a result, she might have made a few virtual friends but then she is not dating any one, is she? She is free to choose or do whatever she likes as long as she is single.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by dAIC; 02-10-2013 at 02:01 PM.

  13. #13
    Bullet Raja Major General Gudu Gudu Returns's Avatar
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    Love is like wearing a helmet n making love.

    If u know what I mean.

    It will be suffocating at times.

    Consider this as age 18 to 25.


    Once u remove the helmet, then u understand love is not this. But love is making love without helmet!
    आपका अपना,
    Gudu Gudu ರಿಟರ್ನ್ಸ್

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