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Thread: Need marriage counselling

  1. #1
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    Post Need marriage counselling

    Hello ma'am
    I just want to know if having an affair, purely sexual, outside a marriage WHEN THE WIFE IS NOT INTERESTED IN SEX AT ALL. And if not then what is the person supposed to do. Sex drie is not something which can be killed instantly and also trying to do it will put more strain on the relationship. So to save the marriage can the husband get involved in a sexual affair with someone and love his wife as well. And plz don't tell me that a guy who loves his wife never has an affair. Its not practical and just hypothetical bull-shit.

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    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    So, what exactly do you want me to do here? endorse your affair? Look, I understand your jeopardy but sex outside the marriage is not recommended. The thing is to try and make the marital relationship work- if that means that you have to talk to each other or even get professional help, then go ahead- do it. There are too many relationships breaking up way too soon- sex outside marriage is a sure shot way of kissing your spouse goodbye. Even if she does not find out, there are matters of loyalty, yes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by unregistered View Post
    hello ma'am
    i just want to know if having an affair, purely sexual, outside a marriage when the wife is not interested in sex at all. and if not then what is the person supposed to do. Sex drie is not something which can be killed instantly and also trying to do it will put more strain on the relationship. So to save the marriage can the husband get involved in a sexual affair with someone and love his wife as well. And plz don't tell me that a guy who loves his wife never has an affair. Its not practical and just hypothetical bull-shit.
    talaak is the only way out

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    Young Gun IzQueen's Avatar
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    What does that mean..??? Affair with someone else despite you are married..??? If your wife is not interested in sex, there are many other ways to make her love it... Having affairs is absolutely like inviting BIG troubles at your place... You'll destroy your home with your own hands...Try to be more patient, more romantic with your wife.... There should be some lackings in your relationship, that your wife is not interested in sex at all.... Having affairs is NOT the solution of your problem....!!!

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    And if you think things are not working at all, and she stays uninterested in sex after all tries, you both should consult a professional marriage counselor. We can't ask you all sort of questions a counselor can ask and you can't answer them either.

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    SB Addict ariesgirl's Avatar
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    my question is -actually why do you wanna marry?is that just for the sake of sexual partner?!!

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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Hello ma'am
    I just want to know if having an affair, purely sexual, outside a marriage WHEN THE WIFE IS NOT INTERESTED IN SEX AT ALL. And if not then what is the person supposed to do. Sex drie is not something which can be killed instantly and also trying to do it will put more strain on the relationship. So to save the marriage can the husband get involved in a sexual affair with someone and love his wife as well. And plz don't tell me that a guy who loves his wife never has an affair. Its not practical and just hypothetical bull-shit.
    Well,
    You need to talk to your wife and let her know you're thinking of having sex outside of marriage since she is no good for you.
    Your wife probably needs treatment and I would not hold you responsible for the thoughts of an extra marital affair.

    I would suggest you talk to your wife and seek medical help, there is obviously something wrong with her. Sex is the base of a marriage, without it no marriage can survive.

    G'day
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    ..Yaar Patialavi.. Lieutenant-Colonel a_decent_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ariesgirl View Post
    my question is -actually why do you wanna marry?is that just for the sake of sexual partner?!!
    The question in itself is wrong.
    If a person should not think of having sex in a marriage, then maybe he should start having sex right from when Puberty hits him, right..?
    I am not against Reservation.
    I want 100% Reservation for Merit

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    helo..
    marriage is not all about sex... find out from your wife why she is not interested... if u show interest only in sex, its obvious she would become disinterested... re-invent romance.. love her.. sex will follow automatically.. & yeah AFfairs only ruin marriages... they dont hlp u or ur sex drive.

    talk to your wife.. tel heru need sex.. love her ... take her out.. compliment her.. appreciate her.. gift her...
    still if nothing works .. then if really really necessary go for divorce & legally marry someone else... but no affairs .


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    watch love in India by Q with your wife

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    Young Gun
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    A Marriage where one partner denies reasonable conjugal rights to the other is considered harassment as per the law. File for Divorce and marry someone who is sexually compatible with you. That is the best solution. Else, convert to Islam and get another wife. Dharmendra did it for Hema Malini. Mahesh Bhatt did it. Many guys do start having affairs when they still love their wives. The number does not stay intact when the affair becomes more important than the marriage.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logical_Guru View Post
    A Marriage where one partner denies reasonable conjugal rights to the other is considered harassment as per the law. File for Divorce and marry someone who is sexually compatible with you. That is the best solution. Else, convert to Islam and get another wife. Dharmendra did it for Hema Malini. Mahesh Bhatt did it. Many guys do start having affairs when they still love their wives. The number does not stay intact when the affair becomes more important than the marriage.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

    Excuse me i think i need to correct you here, islam NEVER permitted affairs!!! people doesnt really know the rules of islam and just make judgments. so better dont bring islaam in like this for shitty things... In islaam a man cannot have a second wife at the back of his wife... or without her consent. and it has many rules more with it, like the man has to give equal rights to both or to all etc... and the prophet did it to help those women who were left on their own, not for pleasure!

    unfortunately people including CERTAIN muslim misinterprete and reach such kind of judgments...


    thats all!
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    I have never asked him to have an affair behind his back. As per the law, and as per the Religion, with the Consent of the First wife, he can get another. That is what the law permits since other religions do not recognize polygamy. Nobody is questioning the Prophet's (PBUH) teachings here. Now, if his existing wife refuses sex, he cannot have children. That is reason enough to have another.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

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    [QUOTE=Logical_Guru;6230758]A Marriage where one partner denies reasonable conjugal rights to the other is considered harassment as per the law. File for Divorce and marry someone who is sexually compatible with you. That is the best solution. Else, convert to Islam and get another wife. Dharmendra did it for Hema Malini. Mahesh Bhatt did it. Many guys do start having affairs when they still love their wives. The number does not stay intact when the affair becomes more important than the marriage.

    Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.[/QUOTEdivorce & remarriage is not so easy & game as shown in media in islam... th real rules are very tough & difficult... first the couples ahve to seriously try to be compatible with each other.. for thsi they are given 3 chances... & despite of all tries if still they cant stand to live with each other , then remarriage or divorce is allowed...

    but ALAS!! it has been misled & many people use it to their benefit..

    lets advice our query asker to first try seriously to talk to his wife & try all methods to be really in love with eachother. If still nothing is possible let him divorce as per law of country. there is no need of the asker to convert to islam only for sake of re-marriage. he can do so legally as well.. he can file case of dis-satisfaction in marriage & both can divorce with consent.

    But affair would be adultery & he would ruin his own happiness & peace of mind & his wife's life as well & aslo the other woman's life.
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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