Can't stand my surroundings

[archer_paradise]

Hi, I am a 25 year old software professional living in Central delhi (which some people treat as a posh area) with a single parent and a moderate earning and living. I have lots of issues bugging me these days besides my personal struggles:

1. The area around me (and it seems the issue is prevalent in other areas and cities as well) is degrading by the day. Population growth, immigrants, dirt, parking issues, sewage bursts, tobacco spitting everywhere, constant fights over everything, rickshaws everywhere has made it difficult for me to breathe and survive in a peaceful environment.

2. There are no rules: no traffic rules, no rape laws, no theft or property laws. It seems that those that are making huge moolah (black money I'm sure) are buying more n more cars and range rovers and spilling their big machines over small roads and creating havoc.

Those that have connections and money are surviving happily and those that are not are merely surviving until they get a chance to immigrate to another country.

3. I for one can go abroad if I want to (anyone can) and I am not that patriotic either. Countries are mere boundaries. However, I cannot function independently in my own country. Also, I have a mother who is obviously not in the pink of her health and I cannot go abroad with her/without her.

Moreover, it seems like a temporary escape to throw everything up in the air and find a decent country with law abiding citizens and a sense of ownership and respect and immigrate there. I don't want to be an immigrant when I hate immigrants.


It is not the recent Delhi rape incident that opened up my wound. It is the 25 years of growing up in a city that is falling down like a stack of cards right in front of my eyes. No amount of protests, aggression, good boy behavior etc. from our end has helped or will help when all other humans around us are just acting like vultures.

Please suggest me how to get out of this mess. It is difficult to leave everything behind and find a city in my own country or any other country that can provide a decent transition vis a vis my current career and care/relatives of our present surroundings.

[archer_paradise]

From the streets filled with rickshaw pullers and parked cars to the stray dogs howling at nights, from the sludge filled roads to the supari spitting people every step you walk. There are no parks, migrant workers have made their permanent bedroom and bathroom there. There is nothing in our lives in Delhi that we can come home and say I enjoyed that... except an occasional get together with your friends showing their latest gadget and chick they've banged.

That is not the essence of living. The social life is temporary and not a blind fold of happiness.

[Ankhi_sena_mun]

I have this problem ... I want to go abroad cause: cant get job here cause all reservation for SC/ST/OBC... and none for the MOST underrepresented cast i.e. women in Govt Science jobs

and all the lawlessness you mentioned.....

I dont want to go because: I have ma too..... and grandma..... and Love my country in general.....

[perky_boy]

It seems everyone in this forum is of the same opinion as that of 'archer'. Yes, our country is a pain in the butt for law abiding citizens like us, it is a nightmare to be living here. The culture which we have had pre-independence has been washed off and now its just for namesake. people have forgotten humanity and do not look beyond money, especially the lower middle class people who have acquired wealth either by hook or crook. They don't want to make Honest money and hence cheat anyone they can. And its all due to the governments fault which has made our country such a strong, rising economy. When a beggar gets crores of rupees all of a sudden, he tends to follow the wealthy blindly, gets a new car, a new house, shows off his wealth, thinks that he is omnipotent coz he has wealth, does't follow d rules coz he knows he can get away if he shows money. And in d end when he is done spending it all and nothing remains, he resorts to stealing, murder and what-not. And this situation is never going to eliminate coz no matter how much money the so called poor get, they can never be rich in the values of humanity and hence this country will always head for a downfall. So what i think is the poor should be left on their own, Darwins law should be applied to them strictly and i can say this coz my dad had to make it big on his own, he had no guidance, he searched opportunities on his own, didn't depend upon the government or anyone else to show him the way. So if my dad can do it then y cant they. Why do they need to be Spoon-fed all the time? The government is doing more than enough and i appreciate it. Its the people who are at fault for not following the rules and expecting more than they deserve. Half of the people are not willing to pay taxes and even then their demands never suffice. Agreed that corruption is everywhere but that doesnt mean we can shun our responsibilities. This is a bull-shit country, and when i say country i mean the people in it. The first chance i get to get to go away from here, m taking it. I want to lie a peaceful and happy life which i know i am never going to find it in INDIA. I for one, can say all this coz i am doing my part trying to improve my country, but it just doesn't seem enough and it never will be unless everybody starts doing theirs. call me a pessimist if u want, but it doesnt hide the truth.

[ariesgirl]

i understand..but i think the only option left is shifting..why don't you shift to some other area,a place from where you can reach your office comfortably?

[Gudu Gudu Returns]

Come.Bangalore or Mysore.

Bestest cities in whole of country!

[o00]

Dude you scared me now. I am from a small city in Punjab and came to USA 4.5 years back for studies and now I work in IT sector here, currently staying in USA on a work permit. I plan to move back to India soon, reason is kinda same as why you don't wanna immigrate. Also, I want to take the road less taken- since all students and temporary workers decide to settle here, I don't wanna. I want to move back to India for the thrill , the challenge..call me insane..For sure I will need to live in a big city like Delhi because IT jobs exist in big cities only.

Anyway, about your query- Did you try to move to a suburb etc where life is more peaceful? Maybe you can commute to your work place. Also, there are many around you who are in same boat as you. Do they complain as much as you do? People get used to their environment and live their lie.. and life passes very quickly.

PS- I am 27.

[Logical_Guru]

1. Urbanization has its discontents. With a larger % of our population living in Urban areas, this will continue until our civil society reaches the peak of its decadence. What would then follow is a Rot and a clean up. This is an inevitable cycle over which we have little control.

2. If you consider people from neighboring states (UP and Bihar) to be migrant labor and at the same time consider borders as mere boundaries, you are contradicting yourself to the extent of being a hypocrite. Please do not do that. If you come down to Bangalore, would be agree to be called as a Migrant?

3. Several countries offer several options. The US could be the ideal place for an IT pro. The Middle East could be preferred if you are a devout muslim. Australia could be a good option if you like to get your back whipped.

Those with money will continue to splurge. You have no control over that.

Start playing a sport every evening. TT, Badminton, Tennis, Swimming or anything that appeals to you. Take off to a slightly less crowded place on your bike on a weekend. Get a girlfriend who will ensure that your actual surroundings (and everything else) are clouded. Change of routine is relaxation.

Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

[suneeta]

I dont understand why do people say that one can get used to of the environment!!..Sorry but its just being insensitive....Neways to OP i wanna say that God has made each and every person different and surroundings can have so much impact on us mentally,physically!!...Tell me one thing, why do people want to study in good and reputed institutions,isnt that because of the surroundings???....its the environment that make u compete and achieve your goals....If your environment is disturbing you and is not giving you mental peace then you will have to move!!......its all about one's will.....you can if you really want to move to another city ..Best Of Luck and Happy New Year ))

[o00]

1. Urbanization has its discontents. With a larger % of our population living in Urban areas, this will continue until our civil society reaches the peak of its decadence. What would then follow is a Rot and a clean up. This is an inevitable cycle over which we have little control.

2. If you consider people from neighboring states (UP and Bihar) to be migrant labor and at the same time consider borders as mere boundaries, you are contradicting yourself to the extent of being a hypocrite. Please do not do that. If you come down to Bangalore, would be agree to be called as a Migrant?

3. Several countries offer several options. The US could be the ideal place for an IT pro. The Middle East could be preferred if you are a devout muslim. Australia could be a good option if you like to get your back whipped.

Those with money will continue to splurge. You have no control over that.

Start playing a sport every evening. TT, Badminton, Tennis, Swimming or anything that appeals to you. Take off to a slightly less crowded place on your bike on a weekend. Get a girlfriend who will ensure that your actual surroundings (and everything else) are clouded. Change of routine is relaxation.

Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

Please explain why you said that about Australia..

[archer_paradise]

Thanks for all the replies. I do not want to discuss the society degradation overall or the conditions we live in Delhi or India. Like I said before, I am not thankless about the facilities Delhi provides nor am I saying that a new country would provide me peace.

As a matter of fact I am reluctant to move since I am cynical and do not expect anything to change. I will be treated as an immigrant opportunist just like I feel when I see paan spitting public urinating wrong side driving parking maniacs (not that they all are immigrants).

As far as diverting my attention:

I do exercise but hobbies such as art, sports etc. can only be afforded by those who have money and time. In Delhi people cannot even walk in the lanes and streets. Kids actually are bound to watch TV all day than play. There are no quaint parks as they serve as urinals & bedrooms for workers & maids and their families.

You cannot go out in pollution and over population & car filled streets (parked or otherwise). Crap food costs a lot, better food costs more.

Forget about a relationship, there are bigger troubles in life to kill yourself for. Besides that wont solve the current issue here.

The countries mentioned in some posts must not be generalized by a particular religion or a mishap news. I would welcome some suggestions of countries that serve as good options career wise & otherwise to move to. But remember, its very tough to uproot your small family and move to another country as if its nothing.

[sens]

HI .. mr.archer... India needs people like u.. world needs...


even i fel very bad & scared & think a lot about worsening conditions & mean people.. BUT.. my mom always used to console me.. this is HOW the world is... u cant run it.. u cant escape it... u ahve to accept it.. & walk with it.. ignore what u dont like... everything will not be the way u wnat.. everyone will not act the wya u want.. u ahve to be wise to stay from bad deeds..

u have to focus on u urself being good.. &u should not be disheartened..

it takes lot of courage & patience ...

& yeah leaving country doesnt necessarily mean tat u left coz u r no patritic..

being human its ur rght to explore the beautiful world careted by lord..


i wish everyone in india realise things going bad... esp like u say may the case of this girl open everyone's eyes... & mainly what is lacking is seriousness..

people esp politicians are mean,narrowminded... instead of thinking of how they can progress all they think is how to put other person down... all this is wasting everyone's constructive thinking & leading to bad environment..

****************

u ca shift to any foriegn country if u like ... your mom's health is not an issue... infact she can get better & honest tretament in abroad... & u maybe immigrant for a period of time & then can become citizen...

**********

personally i used to be very sad abpout same issues in india.. & more than surroundings about the gossips & backbiting & politics that people play... &whenever anyone does not follow rule...


people in foreign countries r more happy & more progressive.. these people are law abiding & hardworking.. they dont waste time in small thinking & narrowmindedness. they see good things abt people around...

whenever possible guide ur friends to be patritic indian ..love country.. if all try & b better person.. country will be beter country..we have everything in our country... its beautiul... all we need is aptriotic & honest people...

[o00]

Sens, I know this thread is archer's but I personally got confidence and motivation from your response to him.. as I said I wanna move back to India. Although I think you don't live in India right now, still I felt it came from someone very close to their country.

Archer, I think best option for IT guys is Singapore for a person who can afford to leave his place. It is pretty near to India and many Indian IT companies have clients there. Competition is USA is too much these days and the pay rates have dipped since the number of H1B workers is too much now. Singapore is much more safe too.

If someone thinks that moving out of India is gonna appease their frustration for more than a short term, they can move to countries where pollution and population is less, laws are strict and people are polite. For me, my decision to move out of India didn't give me satisfaction and whenever I feel that immigrants are looked down at, (even if to a slightest degree) my decision to move back to India becomes more strong. I am not patriotic at all, but since I am an Indian and no one can change it, I don't see how moving out of India can help me for ever.

[sens]

hi!! yes mr.o00 i stya in USA too... even i m very parioic person.. but i m bangalore city.. in which i have nt seen many disgusting things.. ihave by grace of almighty pleasant surroundings & life until recently.
i had to move abroad as i was married to US citizen.. but still i believe what i typed... moving away frm country is not a stand of less patriotic.. so amny indians are abroad, we have to be nice to people in foreign country & abide by laws.. so taht they say.. look at this person.. he/she is from india & we can trust him..

after reading ur post i wouldnt suggest u go back... coz being in US i have begun to love this country...they respect me so much for being indian.. they respect me for the scarf i wear... there is no narrow mindedness & everyone follows laws & rules...

but mainly crime & such disgusting situations are not just in india ... they r evreywhee... u might have heard news about the crazy shooting going on in public places in USA... now what could be more scary than that??people under influence of alcohol & drugs have no idea what they do... killings are like real life people are some video game people.


all u have to do is do your duties & u be righteous... & if each one of us is same.. entire world will be better place..

Sens, I know this thread is archer's but I personally got confidence and motivation from your response to him.. as I said I wanna move back to India. Although I think you don't live in India right now, still I felt it came from someone very close to their country.

Archer, I think best option for IT guys is Singapore for a person who can afford to leave his place. It is pretty near to India and many Indian IT companies have clients there. Competition is USA is too much these days and the pay rates have dipped since the number of H1B workers is too much now. Singapore is much more safe too.

If someone thinks that moving out of India is gonna appease their frustration for more than a short term, they can move to countries where pollution and population is less, laws are strict and people are polite. For me, my decision to move out of India didn't give me satisfaction and whenever I feel that immigrants are looked down at, (even if to a slightest degree) my decision to move back to India becomes more strong. I am not patriotic at all, but since I am an Indian and no one can change it, I don't see how moving out of India can help me for ever.

[kish123]

I completely understand where you are comming from because I am also shaken by the recent rape incident and all the poluted areas in the city can drive you nuts. I don't live in India but I can't stand any of this either. Why don't you move to a place with in India that is more peace ful and quiet. GOA seems nice but I am not sure you ahve to do some research and decide where you want to move and yes your mother will move with you. Places like Dheli are not safe anymore I hate to say taht but all the incidents and especially the recent one is brutal.