My bf showed our private stuff to his friend

nonaa · 27-12-2012, 11:29 PM

hi
I am little confused as my bf, whom I m together with for 2 years, now showed some videos, which we made during our private time, to his best friend. When he told me this 2 days ago I scolded him severely and haven't talked with him till now. While he is apologising consistently, I am thinking that is this bad enough to break up with him or should I give him another chance. He says that he didn't know it will matter this much to me otherwise he wouldn't do this.

I too am thinking that am I over-reacting?? I am not among those conservative types. Even I too discuss some of these stuffs with my best friend. I don't know.......please help me.

**Preeto Maam** · 30-12-2012, 08:05 PM

Oh gosh! Thats totally not on! Its really one thing to talk about your relationship to a friend but quite another to show graphic intimate moments to a pal. I understand what you feel- its a sense of violation, isn't it? Well, its OK to feel that way.
Take your time over this- you really don't have to be in a big rush to forgive him. I would also suggest that you make sure that these videos are deleted forever from his possession- but do so subtly- he hasn't proven to be very reliable, has he? Better safe than sorry!

**archer_paradise** · 30-12-2012, 09:22 PM

This was an illegal act and an invasion of privacy. Even if he made this video with your consent, even then it is illegal for him to distribute or share this video with anyone else.

The act was disrespectful and an alarm should go off in your head that the person is crass and will cross a higher limit if you continue your relationship with him.

**complete_man** · 30-12-2012, 10:04 PM

No you arent over-reacting. Its a serious breach of privacy and your BF is outright DUMB to 'think' that it wouldnt matter to you that much! (How do u girls get hooked up with such a$$es when people like me are around?

) Sorry for that bad joke

But on a serious note, you can forgive him this time and considering his careless nature, always think twice before taking any major decisions involving him in future. Good luck.

**Sweet Mimi** · 30-12-2012, 10:39 PM

yes you are over reacting... because error is to human.... human do make mistakes... he is a guy... usually guys mind work very less on what is good and what is bad, and trhe fact that he told you that is a proves this.... so if he apologizing just strictly tell him you dont want this to happen again.. dont ,make this long.... you will end a good relationship for nothing, forgiving is what is love....

so give him one chance... am sure he loves you he wont do this again... take it easy.... and forgive him once... let him know though that this has hurt you.... dont break a relationship just because of something he did unknowingly!

**perky_boy** · 30-12-2012, 11:24 PM

U r Screwed.. This shows that your BF is emotionally not into you. If he was then he wouldnt have shown ur private moments to anyone coz when u love someone truly u feel insecure and jealous if anyone even touches you or thinks dirty about u. I, for one, and many of my friends would never show naked pictures of their true love to anyone, even when their true best friends force them to show it to them. And wat world are u living in, dont u know there have been many a scandals over these kinda videos. Think twice before allowing ur bf to record these moments for fear that at some point if u break up he may send it to all of ur friiends and maybe even ur family. Can u bear the fact that ur dad and relatives may see it and the shame it will bring to ur family and u. Never ever allow any of ur private moments to be recorded, private moments are to be recorded only in your head and not in camera.Now do one thing, first u delete the video by urself and dont tell him to delete it as he may make a copy of it.Secondly to confirm that he has not made any copy of it, ask him after u have deleted it, after a few days that u wish to see the video he had made and that if he has a copy then can he show it to u. and if he does show it to u then ask him to delete the file and on the pretext that its not a good video and u would loe to make a new one, a better one infact. Which u shouldnt by the way, but only for the sake of saying it.better safe than sorry

**Sweet Mimi** · 30-12-2012, 11:52 PM

Originally Posted by perky_boy

U r Screwed.. This shows that your BF is emotionally not into you. If he was then he wouldnt have shown ur private moments to anyone coz when u love someone truly u feel insecure and jealous if anyone even touches you or thinks dirty about u. I, for one, and many of my friends would never show naked pictures of their true love to anyone, even when their true best friends force them to show it to them. And wat world are u living in, dont u know there have been many a scandals over these kinda videos. Think twice before allowing ur bf to record these moments for fear that at some point if u break up he may send it to all of ur friiends and maybe even ur family. Can u bear the fact that ur dad and relatives may see it and the shame it will bring to ur family and u. Never ever allow any of ur private moments to be recorded, private moments are to be recorded only in your head and not in camera.Now do one thing, first u delete the video by urself and dont tell him to delete it as he may make a copy of it.Secondly to confirm that he has not made any copy of it, ask him after u have deleted it, after a few days that u wish to see the video he had made and that if he has a copy then can he show it to u. and if he does show it to u then ask him to delete the file and on the pretext that its not a good video and u would loe to make a new one, a better one infact. Which u shouldnt by the way, but only for the sake of saying it.better safe than sorry

different guys ar different... emotional guys may think like you are saying but many guys think less emotionally.... i dont deny what you are saying.. but there have been many instances where my mum dont ask my dad to keep a thing as a secrete but just expect he would know its our home thing... but unfortunately my innocent dad mind cant figure out if its a serious matter and just say it out with his brothers or other family...

and when he gets home tell my mum i said this.... now she shouts what you did, cant you understand its our matter... why you open this up!! Now does that mean my dad doesnt care??? NO let me tell you my dad loves my mum like anything... but he always do silly mistakes... i would tag these as Manly mistakes.. their mind doesnt work like women do!!! he was purely innocent.... he didnt know that he shouldnt say this to others... for him it was a petty things for my mum it wasnt...

and you know my dad still does same thing... thats why my mum now in advance tell him dont go and tell this others.... and he keep it to himself!!!

so it happens!!

**o00** · 31-12-2012, 02:17 AM

If you feel that he really loves you and there are many reasons which can shadow on this major mistake of his, then go ahead and give him a chance. I think you love him deeply too. As all have said, be careful in future and give him a strict warning. Get the material deleted and ask him to tell that friend of him that he should not tell anyone else that he has seen you guys' private stuff. Take your time to think all this out.. no hurry. He is definitely a careless guy if not an idiot.

**PARYANS** · 31-12-2012, 07:04 AM

U shud have seen crime patrol yesterday.a gal's mms was uploaded by bf's friend who repaired his laptop.

**a_decent_1** · 31-12-2012, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by nonaa

hi
I am little confused as my bf, whom I m together with for 2 years, now showed some videos, which we made during our private time, to his best friend. When he told me this 2 days ago I scolded him severely and haven't talked with him till now. While he is apologising consistently, I am thinking that is this bad enough to break up with him or should I give him another chance. He says that he didn't know it will matter this much to me otherwise he wouldn't do this.

I too am thinking that am I over-reacting?? I am not among those conservative types. Even I too discuss some of these stuffs with my best friend. I don't know.......please help me.

What exactly do you mean by "Private Time" ..?
It can mean anything from Romantic Birthday Celebration or Sex clip.

If it did not have any sex involved, you may wanna give him a second chance.
If it did have sex involved, you should throw this guy in the gutter and move on.

G'day

**Logical_Guru** · 31-12-2012, 09:01 AM

Confusion should be avoided at all costs. There are 2 options

1. Give him another chance. Ensure that you get him to delete all available copies and version of the same. Ask him to sign a declaration that he would be responsible if anything is leaked out. Retain one CD and keep it in your possession as security. Tell him that you will go to the cops, through a Women's organization if anything ever gets out. Ask him to show his manhood in other terms

2. Talk to him calmly and get him to delete everything. Tell him that he would be responsible if anything leaks out. Over a period of a few weeks, decide if you still trust him and then take a call.

Personally, I would collect all the stuff and dump him. Discussing is fine, but displaying is much more. We are discussing here like mature people. Displaying, without consent is cheating.

Logical Guru is the internationally renowned right thinking moral source of good advice on all topics related to Sex, Spirituality, Religion, International Travel and the Law.

**littleromeo** · 31-12-2012, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by nonaa

hi
I am little confused as my bf, whom I m together with for 2 years, now showed some videos, which we made during our private time, to his best friend. When he told me this 2 days ago I scolded him severely and haven't talked with him till now. While he is apologising consistently, I am thinking that is this bad enough to break up with him or should I give him another chance. He says that he didn't know it will matter this much to me otherwise he wouldn't do this.

I too am thinking that am I over-reacting?? I am not among those conservative types. Even I too discuss some of these stuffs with my best friend. I don't know.......please help me.

you are little confused? Don't you think that's too much even for those not so conservative types? May be he isn't serious about you or not right in his mind. You better be careful with him.

**Gudu Gudu Returns** · 31-12-2012, 10:13 AM

And videos are made to be shown to people, is it not?

But why made vdo of private time?

Now thinking no use.

Either accept his apology or say tata to him not before collecting your signature vdo

**cfavoured** · 31-12-2012, 01:08 PM

depends on whats there in it. if it had any exposure or kissing or sex, its a serious thing. the guy who saw it might feel to see u in same way again, even ask his frnd to show video again later..he might even tell to frnds that he saw and all...

it happened so in our gang.. few classmates made fun of a guy and asked to prove his manhood etc.. and that guy in rage showed a pic of he kissing his gf.. later few of frnds couldnt remove that pic from our mind and couldnt see that girl properly...it took time for us to forget that pic and see her in a manner of respect. Imagine the case if its nudity or sex....

better take possession on the video and delete it soon...

and reg forgiving him...

**sens** · 01-01-2013, 05:24 AM

hhi!!

miss, conservative or not, your boyfriend showing your private videos/pics to friend implies he does respect you enough . maybe he did it to show off how intimate ur relation is... either he is very immature to share... or he is just not serious about your relation.

just give him one chance but becareful.. whether bf or not letting anyone have your private intimate pictures/videos is very risky... it can go on net anytime.. ask him to delete all the stuff... & never let anyone record u next time.