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Thread: Should I Respect her decision ?

  1. #1
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    Default Should I Respect her decision ?

    Hi Mam,

    My name is Amar ,I am 26 years old. I was in love with my best friend from last 8-9 years. I told her about my feelings 4-5 years agobut told me at that time she didn't know I thought about her like that and only thought of me as a friend I respected her decision and we continued being friends in between that time period I moved to a different city and stuff and started working we were not in contact the same way anymore. My parents found me a girl and I got married to her recently she hasn't arrived in States yet .Than again me and my best friend got in contact again. She is a really nice girl , very understanding full of life. I always felt she was my soul mate. I told her about my marriage and she was really happy for me. Than recently she told me that she does not want to talk to me anymore because she understood it late and she likes me . She said that she even feel weird about it because she knows I am married and she does not want to be a girl who likes a guy who is married and does not want to create any misunderstanding in my marriage.My friend has always been a very straightforward person. I don't know Mam in my life she matters a lot, it's really important for me to know always that she is doing well and I know she cares about me a lot. . Should I try to contact her or no and tell let's stilll be friend or respect her decision?

    Thank You for your time

  2. #2
    Moderator Lieutenant General Preeto Maam's Avatar
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    Amar, don't play with fire. Firstly, it was very wrong of your friend to express her feelings to you after she knew that you were married. As for you, well, you have been friends all this while, keep it that way, but now, your best friend and your primary responsibility should be the girl you married. So,being friends is one thing- and you can be that even without being in touch -but that should not be the primary relationship of your life.
    So, well, respect what the girl says and if, as I suspect she will, she gets in touch with you again, then you will have to show some loyalty to your wife.

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    :: The Zenith :: Lieutenant-Colonel complete_man's Avatar
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    Stop contacting her. And its not about respecting her decision, its about respecting ur own self. That girl REJECTED you in the past and now she returns when you are married and is trying to play the good samaritan? Bunk it man.. Be happy with your married life, girls like these are not meant to be taken seriously.
    I have a dream..

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    ♥ fєmmє fαtαlє ♥ Major Sweet Mimi's Avatar
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    dude please pity your wife! put yourself in her place, which woman or man in this earth feels happy to know the other partner likes someone else? nobody!!! including you!! then why you giving her this pain! you want to punish her for what? for marrying you? you think she deserve to be punish to marry you...

    i feel extremely worried reading such problems.. what if one day i do arrange marriage and my hubby loves someone else.. i feel i would die.. thats why i get senti reading such thing.. as i find it hard.... my life would be ruined... and might be i will curse my life.... so these are feelings your wife will get...

    she wants to go, let her go why r you inviting trouble? be mature and realise you have responsibility of your wife on you! dont forget.. if you wont think about her then who will??????

    even if she wants to stay refuse her because you cant be selfish and think only about you and ignore your wife!! she deserves the best in life.. a good life not a painful life where she has a cheating hubby!!!
    I'm a shhh girl
    Loving me could be a crime

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    SB Addict ariesgirl's Avatar
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    you have a wife..no other girl in this world can love you the way she does..all your love and care should be for your wife..and tell your friend that you can't see her other way and can only remain friends..and also add that you love your wife a lot...

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    SB Champion Lieutenant o00's Avatar
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    I think till now you got the answer. don't contact that girl and avoid her if she contacts you. You both can't be friends now. Period.

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    hi amar,

    Your friend is being honest & has told u her decision. Respect it & leave her alone. seems like the kind of feeling you ahve for her is very strong & it may ruin your marraige life in future. your friend's decision seems logical & sensible & why would you want to talk to her despite the fact tahts he is no more comfortable.
    infact there is no harm in being just friends.. but your case seems different.. to avoid problems in future in your marital life. it is good for you to stop trying to contact your friend again.

    all the best.

    You are married now. & it is big responsibility You have taken.. try to be best hsband in world .. u will definitely get abck a lot more love than u give ...
    Live amongst people in such a manner that if you die they weep over you and if you are alive they crave for your company.

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    Thanks Everyone for your suggestions and time.
    Preeto Mam , I think I didn't mention it properly in my first message but my when I returned from India and since we were not in contact from a long time before that and when I met her she told me about her feeling first and the same day I told her how during this trip I got married . When I told her this she was very happy about my marriage told me to show her my wife picture and all. Also said just to ignore what she just said before. Than later on after few months she told me that she does want to stay in contact with me and all. Now it's been 6-7 months and she hasn't contacted me.

    Guys, I know that I have gotten married and I am taking the full responsibility .I know I have to stay loyal and have to be loving and caring towards my wife . The only reason I asked the question was because I have spent a lot of time with my best friend and I really care about her a lot as well and I am really attach to her . I guess because of all of this I always feel the need to contact her. But you all are right I should not try to contact her .

    Thanks Again,
    Last edited by amar_2013; 02-01-2013 at 09:28 AM.

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